Agent Nora and the Freaky Bean

Mrs Figg wrote:
Daveromancers Big Carrot....

(my first attempt at photo-editing. Still figuring it out..... )

Good work Dave! That a mighty big carrot you have there.

I do NOT want to see his turnips !

azriel wrote:I do NOT want to see his turnips !

No need to be afraid of the turnips, Azriel. They're quite gentle.

Shit ! Dave, I never thought Id be envious of a turnip ! (her figures better than mine )

Well thats a turnip for the books!

boom boom !

Thats an Elven turnip if ever I saw one.

I finally got a chance to read through the last few updates and finish the tale. I love your characters and the story, Mrs Figg! I'm curious to see what happens in the next story and how it relates to this one. Thanks for a great time spent reading this.

Mrs Figg is the funnies person i know of.. she writes brilliantly.

wow thanks guys thats very kind of you. But really you are the inspiration for my tales and its all meant in fun.

David H wrote:

No need to be afraid of the turnips, Azriel. They're quite gentle.

I'm hoping if I play my cards right she'll turnip in my bed. Been a while since I've plowed my bed.

we know, that's why we love it^^

The telephone drrrrinnnnged! on Agent Noras desk.
It was 9.00am Monday morning, 2nd February, 21st century or there abouts.
Agent Nora yawned, shivered, yawned again and then answered the phone. It was Elthir the Loremaster. He sounded miffed.
"hello... hello, well you took your time, anyway, its about this bean stalk in my garden.......blah..........bean....blah........".
While Elthir talked Nora read her horoscope and wished he would dry up so she could get a coffee and put her feet up. Mondays were brutal.
Sometimes when DI Petty had gone out she would lie under her desk wrapped in a sleeping bag and take a well earned nap. I mean, the worst that ever happened in Svalfart was a drunken sailor with his doodah frozen to a fisk, or a runaway penguin, or the odd eel oil accident with Mrs figgs ladies. Its was BOOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG!.
Her hubby DI Eldo and his mate DI Petty even Orwell the pathologist had tons more interesting cases, they got the patrol car and she got the patrol Nordic Walking sticks, it sucked.
She zoned in to what Elthir was moaning about, it seemed some kids had set fire to the beanstalk and he wanted her to go investigate. there was smoke and flying debris, well that sounded worth a trip out. She pinched Eldos car keys and set out to Elthirs cottage.

weee wonders where this is going


(PENGUINS?!)

I was not expecting the next story to start so quickly! Glad to see it, Mrs Figg.

Yeah Off again !

Elthir had warned Nora to take care not to go too near the beanstalk, she had an allergy to it, something called Favismo or whatever, it sent her doollally and last time she had gone to a profound sleep in his garden. Elthir was waiting for her at the garden gate, it creaked gently in the sea breeze, it sounded like a crow talking in a scratchy voice, "CCaww CCaww Beware Beware!"
There were great plumes of thick green smoke coming from the back garden, Elthir told Nora that he had seen funny looking kids in the garden they had set fire to the bean and had disappeared before he could wallop them.
"well We must put it out"said Nora, "get the hose over here and we'll douse it down, the winds getting up, and I dont want sparks flying about in this dry weather".
They unwound the hose and while Nora filled buckets, Elthir got out the spade and started to dig a trench for the cinders.
It was hot work, the smoke was choking and made their eyes water. Now and again the wind changed direction and Nora got the full blast of the smoke.
Suddenly they were both swamped by the smoke, it was so thick they couldnt see anything but billowing green swirling curling fog. Strangely it didnt sting or burn anymore, it was cool and creamy and as thick as blancmange. Nora tried to call to Elthir but her voice didnt make a sound, it was muffled and very quiet. Nora felt rising panic, she could see nothing in any direction but the swamping fog. she resisted the urge to run madly forward.
"ok ok cool it Nora, think! ithis fog doesnt cover everything, if you slowly walk forwards, sooner or later you will reach the edge".

(elthir still looks like thorin? now wet, warm, sweaty, hot thorin, this might be too much...)

Never trust a Lore Masters Beanstalk I say, always sprouting up unexpectedly.

She inched forward, the only thing visible was the few inches of grass under her feet. Around her was a solid wall of green. Nora knew she couldnt run, she had lost all sense of direction, and the cliffs down to the sea could be just inches away. She wondered where Elthir was and if he was alright,
"slowly slowly catchee monkey" she said, and then giggled a bit hysterically.
This seemed to go one forever one foot in front of the other. She wondered if the whole world had been covered by the smoke, what would everyone do? It was getting brighter though, just ahead...
and there she was, standing on the other side of the smoke,
"OH THANK GAWD!!" she cried.
and then her mouth dropped, she turned round and saw that the smoke had formed a solid mass of green, and it reached up in the sky out of sight, and horizontally seemingly as far as the eye could see. It looked as if really didcover half the world. She craned her head up but it seemed to go up to the ethersphere, maybe even the moon it was so high.
She walked away from it over the fields, she was looking for the road to Svalfart but she couldnt make out the terrain, or the direction, or any landmarks, nothing looked familiar. After a while she turned to look at the wall, but weirdly the further away she got the more invisible it got, the more flimsy and transparent. A few minutes later she turned round again, and the green wall had completely dissapeared. All she saw was a sunny summer landscape.
and a forest, a Golden forest shining in the sunbeams.

is she back in Lortien! WHAT?!