Agent Nora and the Poisonous Plums

There were Wedding bells in the air, a distinct tang of orange blossom in Svalfart. there was to be a triple wedding in the town and everyone was buzzing with excitement, except for the grooms, they were feeling queasy and a wee bit scared. Some of them could not even remember having proposed, but here they were getting fitted for suits and elasticated tummy holder inners. The brides were ferociously organizing dinner placements and pageboy knickerbockers, Lance refused to wear his pair so Agent Nora blasted him with Nordic Oaths until cowed he shuffled off to slurp his Ribena in a quiet corner and mutter about bossy females.
Halfy was in his element, he loved trying out exotic recipes, he was in charge of the finger buffet during the reception in Svalfart fish market, it being the largest indoor space. he had tried to suggest Sushi, but that was unanimously declared a bad idea, the whiff of fish was already overpowering in the town, and the town cats were already hovering like furry ninja assasins outside the kitchens. Halfy decided prickly plum desert would be his pièce de resistence, having once tried it in a lady Aztec shamans mountain top hut. What he didnt know was the plums were highly hallucinogenic if not cooked right........

So not letting us know who the lucky couples are?  clever ploy...

I love a story ! this is where the child in me kicks in

I can't wait to see where this goes. I love a good wedding story.

..hmm..well quickly avoiding the basilisk stare from a certain Scotshobbit..
the ladies were having a council of war in Mrs Figgs emporium, it being safe from manly intrusion unless paying cash,
''well'', said Agent Nora, ''its time to sort out the music, I have an idea to put to you, I have some friends willing to play at the reception''.
''Please tell me its not those creepy twins'', glowered Mrs Figg, ''the boys tongues were half way down the back of their socks the last time they came to town, and I am NOT having my future spouse dribbling down his kilt like last time''.
''oh..well..oh shite NEVER MIND!! shouted Agent Nora, ''lets ask CC what she thinks''
CC was sat chewing on a corner of the carpet and just stared at them dolefully.
''CC I know this is a trying time but please get your shit together and focus!'', snapped Figgy
''gnmpffffff!'' said CC helpfully.

i don't believe you
YOUR a LIaR

#nodirectionhome

yes its true Dear Reader, Agent Nora was marrying her DI Eldo, CC was marrying her Lance, and Figgs was marrying her Petty, but only because she told him to.
CC spat out a piece of twill and sat on the sofa next to Agent Nora.
 ''hi Nora, we dont need those pesky twins, I have some green rubber waders my uncle uses for fishing, we put them on and do a bit of spooky swaying, you get your violin out and voilà, post modern music for cool cats''.
Nora goggled at CC for a moment and then said,
''and what do you intend doing while I fiddle?''
''oh I can rap Dantes Inferno, with drum n' bass on my doodlybox''.
Figgs let out a low groan.
''no no no no no NO!!!''
''I want this to be a sophisticated wedding, its got to be classy, and brides dont fiddle on their wedding day, and they are normally too tired to fiddle on their wedding night as well''.
CCs lower lip went out and wobbled a bit.
''see what youve done'' said Nora reproachfully,'' you have upset CC with your acidic harpytude and total disregard for poetical sensibilities''.
''sorry CC'', said Figgs, ''you can wear your waders under your frock''.

"and Figgs was marrying her Petty, but only because she told him to."

Hold on wasnt it my idea?!    

If I have a wedding I'm going to have The Rains Of Castamere as one of the songs just to freak everyone out

well played

Good stuff, Figgs!

CC12 35 wrote:If I have a wedding I'm going to have The Rains Of Castamere as one of the songs just to freak everyone out

Good call. The way this wedding is shaping up it'll probably be for the best if we come wearing body armor.

 this is great figg, i am looking forward to see what will happen, at this merry gathering

I wish you'd take our wedding a little more seriously, Norc.

meanwhile in the local Buckie Bar otherwise known as Chris's garden shed, the grooms-to-be were slowly coming to terms with their last days of wine, loose women and song. Eldo had pointed out to Petty that Mrs Figg was one of the loosest women in town so he should stop his belly aching and get a grip.
Lance had a strange haunted look that didnt bode well, his left eye twitched and he jumped if he heard a noise outside the shed.
''knickerbockers'' he whispered to himself, ''the knickerbockers are tormenting me, they bite, they pinch, O, woe is me!''
Eldo and Petty looked at each other in alarm, it looked ilke Lance was crumbling under the pressure of Burgundy velvet short pants.
Suddenly they all stiffened in alarm, they had heard a distant ''coo-E Pett-E''.
that could mean only one thing, Figg was going to tell Petty to DO something wedding related and there was no escape. Petty looked wildly around him for any means of fleeing the coming shitstorm, he had FORGOTTEN to post the invitations.
gulp.
Eldo reclined back on the sofa with his hands behind his head metaphysically chomping on popcorn.

Eldorion wrote:I wish you'd take our wedding a little more seriously, Norc.

woah, calm down there, bridezilla...

"he had FORGOTTEN to post the invitations."


{{{Well have you seen the price of stamps these days?!! }}}}

just realized I put this in the wrong place. it should be in Creative Corner, sorry.

Moved the thread for you, Mrs Figg.

I'm looking forward to the rest when you're able to post it!

The door of the shed was flung open and Mrs figgs stood there, hands on hips with a deadly stare she sought out the cowering Petty.
''whats the meaning of this slacking!'' she cried,
'' there are 200 hundred napkin rings to be festooned with rose buds, and they aint getting any younger, nor am I, so get ON with it!''
Lance and Eldo gave Petty a look of deep sympathy as he shuffled off after an enraged Figgs, they heard her berating him down the garden path and into the house.
''sheesh is this what married life is like?'' said Eldo, ''I may have to run away and join the circus''.
Lance gave him an uneasy grin, there was definately something up with Lance, maybe it was his boy tubes giving him gip after all the acidic beverages he guzzled, or maybe it was because Lance had a secret. The truth was that Lance was a wanted man. From China to Russia he was sought for crimes against the Svalfartlandian state. Lance was an international super spy and man of mystery on his days off.

Is ringing a napkin even legal?

Is CC's real name Pussy Galore?