Agent Nora and the Freaky Bean

Agent Nora walked down the sandy shingle path towards Elthir's seaside cottage. The seagulls swooped and eddied above her head like fluffy feathery things on the breeze. She was always a bit nervous of this cottage, it was isolated down a country lane and there was a stillness about the place that made you jump at the crack of a twig. Plus there was Elthir the Loremaster within the cottage, always good for tricksy clues, but rather prickly and evasive.
Nora hesitated, then knocked on the green door, it sounded hollow in there, and echo-y, then a dog barked, or should I say, growled in a Hound of the Baskerville type of howl which ended in a dissatisfied coughy whine, and the door opened.
A grey eye peered at Nora from behind the door. grey like a stormy Winter cloud scudding over a wrathful Sea or grey like a Welsh slate roof after rain, who could say. 'whatdoyouwantagentNora' it said. ( If eyeballs speak that is).
'erm hi Elthir, I need to ask you about the bean you have growing in your back garden' she wavered.
'its kinda... erm...large''
Elthir opened the door some more, and around the eye there was a man. and he looked a lot like Thorin Oakenshield.
''phheeeeewwwwwww! breathed Nora.
'She liked mythical literary heroic figures with nice buns.
All thoughts of Eldo's dinner preparations fled in a rush of fluster.
'Cor Elthir, I like your beard' was all she could think to say.
and Elthir flashed a dazzling white smile.
and all thoughts of Eldo fled.
even Cumberbutch paled into insignificance, and Legolas suddenly seemed quite quite girlie. (strange that)
She was pleased to see he had normal sized feet, and no 1930's Frankenstein boots were in evidence.
Any remaining thoughts of investigating the hundred foot bean stalk growing in Elthir's garden just seeped away like misty mist in the dawny dawn.

As always, I love you Mrs Figg, especially when you say things like:

"Nora hesitated, then knocked on the green door, it sounded hollow in there, and echo-y, then a dog barked, or should I say, growled in a Hound of the Baskerville type of howl which ended in a dissatisfied coughy whine, and the door opened."


But I don't think Eldo (or Elthir) (if they're not one and the same person that is) (sorry, I've wondered about that ever since Elthir appeared and Bangil faded) is going to like it!

''if they're not one and the same person that is''

just....

I wouldn't usually be the one to start up scandalous rumours.. but... well... I have often wondered...

Orwell wrote:But I don't think Eldo (or Elthir) (if they're not one and the same person that is) (sorry, I've wondered about that ever since Elthir appeared and Bangil faded) is going to like it!

just sayin'

hahaha.. you guys x)

Why'd this story quit?

Dont stop now Mrs figg ! that was good ! I see you noticed the "Boris Karloff" boots , I like the "Welsh slate roof after rain" !
( I personally like a firm hairy chest & strong forearms !).......wobble !

yeah, why end this, this was going so well

( I personally like a firm hairy chest & strong forearms !).......wobble !

Az

well *cough* check out the latest needlehole fanfic

Elthir was a man of few words but decisive action.
Agent Nora reeled back on her heels as he stomped past her without a word. He was carrying a huge war axe and grumbling softly under his breath as he stalked round to the back of the garden. Nora couldnt make out what he was chundering on about, but it sounded decidedly grumpy.
As she stood there wondering whether to follow, she heard a 'thwack thwack!, chop chop!, thwump thwump'!. she ran round the side of the cottage. Elthir had gone, leaving the axe embedded in the beanstalk. It really was huge, about the size and girth of an oak tree. She craned her neck to see if Elthir was climbing it, but it was hard to see much as there were big green leaves the size of dinner plates in the way.
"Youhoo Elthir!, she called up the tree.
Nothing.
Heya Elthir are you there?.
Nothing.
Just the sea breeze rustling the leaves. a silky sighing swaying sound. It made her feel sleeeeeepy. it made her want to just lie down on the soft grass and take a nice nap...so tired...lie down... yawn...... just a few minutes...eyelids closing...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A hand was shaking her shoulder..insistant now.. "WAKE UP NORA!!!!
huh?
watchoowant? she said dreamily.
Elthir was staring down at her, a look of concern on his bearded face.
She yawned like a cavern and struggled up to her feet.
Only her feet werent there. They were hidden under some misty stuff, pink misty stuff that swirled and curled and poofed in little clouds up to her knees.
"Woah COOL" said Nora. "whats this stuff?"

Consider me intrigued.

wow... we should have a thumbs up emoticon.

They were standing on a sort of leafy platform, made from strong rubbery leaves the size of tables.
Elthir stood looking out over the blue expanse of sky. They seemed a zillion miles up.
"wherearewewhatisthisplacewheredidyougowhatTHEFOOKISGOINGON!!!!!!! cried Nora. She was half afraid, half pissed off, a quarter excited, with a dash of Woop Woop! Every step was bouncy.
Elthir slowly turned and sighed a long sad sigh. "its quite some story Nora, we are in a fix, I will get you home, dont you worry". He smiled to encourage her, but it didnt reach his eyes. He was worried and Nora knew it would be a long time before she saw home again. She knew this with a certainty that surprised her.
"okaay, so what now?, I mean how do we get off this platform, ramp, leaf. thing?
"we climb, he said, "theres no going down". and this was true, there was nothing below them but sky. Nora suddenly felt a wave of vertigo, and Elthir grabbed the back of her coat and pulled her away from the edge.

Im liking this story ! And Norc, are you talking about the great drawings I saw after reading "Needlehole" on pg 43 ? Very good !

love it mrsFIGG!!



Az.... maybe.................... ... and the reference to bear chest..

thanx

Up they climbed Nora was glad she had skiied in the Svalfart mountains, her muscles were strong, but it was hot and tiring work. The sun was burning the back of her neck and she wondered how long it would take to the top. Elthir was above easily swinging from branch to branch, helping her over tricky bits or any particularly large leaves. The leaves were getting thicker and spikier the further up, Noras hands were getting little paper cuts which stung a bit, and the smell of the foliage was getting overpowering in the sun. It was a strange smell, a bit like cabbage, a bit like mown grass. pungent but not unpleasant.
She saw that Elthir had stopped above her. He was still and tense, he was staring at something she couldnt see. Whatever IT was, it had a large black shadow.

omg... this is scary

Nora tried to see who or what it was, but all she saw were the leaves blocking her view, indeed it was hard to know where she was, all perspective was reduced to a few feet either side of her. She struggled to focus and decided the main thing was to keep holding on to the leathery leaves and hope they would soon reach the end of all this climbing. She heard Elthir mumbling something to the person or thing above. but no words drifted down, just a constant hum. Then Elthir slid down towards her and grabbed her wrist. "Not far now", he said encouragingly. "I have met a friend". Nora nodded and they set off, up and up and up.
Nora felt the breeze on her cheek and it was getting cooler and the light was dimmer now. She decided to risk a quick peek around her. She looked down towards where her feet were perched on a branch.
She wished she hadnt.

All she could see were pink fluffy clouds, they were really high up. Too high up, the ground looked like a postcard, a tiny coloured thing, even the houses looked like dots. Nora shivered and decided not to look again. Nora could hear a whispering coming from above. A silvery tinkling of bells, it sounded in her head, it seemed to be seeping in through her ears and turning into perfume, odd that. A perfumy sound. very very weird that. Nora shook her head to try and get it out of her mind, but she couldnt, it felt as if the sound and the perfume and the tinkling of the bells were somehow turning into a taste and then it was everything all at once.
Nora started to giggle, even her giggles tasted of perfume, it was Roses, and then it was chocolate, ooooooh and now the silver bells tasted of lilac sweets. yummy.
and then they were out through the green murky leaves and onto a wooden porch. A real porch, and a real door.
It was nice to be out of the leaves. Nora and Elthir stood on a kind of decking, but not the sort of decking you find made out of pine from the DIY shop, but a soft white wood Nora had never seen before. It was carved and filigreed and fluted and quite delicate like lace.
It was gorgeous thought Nora, still giggling, but wide awake now, and a bit startled. Elthir was looking at her with a slightly worried expression, as if to say 'you ok''. Nora nodded as a reply, and satisfied, Elthir walked through the porch and disappeared through the door.

Nora stepped through the white door and gasped, it must have been quite a big gasp, because the people on the other side of the door all turned to look at her. She felt many eyes on her, and she blushed, a hot deep blush. How embarrassing!.
The people were dressed in soft green and grey, they were tall, they were.....
oh shit.........
they were.....
Elves?
no they couldnt be, because Elves only exist in books, and in jolly nice films, with great dialogue, and just the right length of grass.
A lady walked slowly towards Nora holding her hand out, she had a glittering ring, which made Nora blink it was so bright and twinkly. "Hello Nora", said the lady, my name is Amarie, I am the Lady of Avalon, the land of Apples and font of all Faerie".
"Gosh" said Nora, trying to think of a suitably deep and meaningful reply, but failing. "erm". "cheers". Nora looked at Elthir, as if to say "well say something". But Elthir was standing with another tall Elf deep in conversation and didnt see her mute request. One of the male Elves stepped forward and Nora goggled, he looked just like her erstwhile husband Agent Eldo, but an Eldo with long blonde hair and a glacial stare.
ooooooo! said Nora. I am liking this place already.