Re: The Bigger, Badder, Even More Serious Thread [2]

[Mrs Figg]

are you saying you type with your toes?

[Pettytyrant101]

I think I am therefore I might be-ish- or that might just be the eel oil,or the buckie.. 'oh there was a sailor called Bob, he had the worlds bigest, reddest knob. And no matter how he turned it, twisted or pulled, he was always left with it in his hand like a fool!"

[Pettytyrant101]

The Chief Whip is gone!
The Chief Whip who called the police plebs and swore at them then said he didnt has resigned- leaving Cameron looking even weaker than before as he has been trying to hang on to him all this time.
The exWhip is still denying he said it but has resigned anyway.
Is that Boris I see behind Cameron with a big knife in his hand?

[azriel]

Do I foresee Camerons Empire crumbling around him? HA! He thought he was a Caesar, has not history showed him anything? I bet those "laurels" are feeling prickily now!

[Pettytyrant101]

'We're all in it together'- David Cameron


'MILLIONAIRE George Osborne heaped more embarrassment on the Government yesterday — by sitting in a train’s first class carriage with a standard ticket.
An aide told train staff the Chancellor “could not possibly” sit in standard.'

A fellow passenger tweeted the affair live-

“Very interesting journey. George Osborne just got on with STANDARD ticket and sat in FIRST CLASS.
“His aide tells ticket collector he cannot possibly move and sit with the likes of us in standard class and requests he is allowed to remain in First Class. Ticket collector refuses #standoff.”

Cant go sit with us plebs now can he?
And as if that wasnt bad enough whilst Cameron was making a speech telling us all how we have to tighten out belts further and there will be more cuts his Chancellor was pictured quaffing champagne with rich party backers.
All in it together my arse. A government more out of touch with those they govern is hard to imagine.

[azriel]

This is nothing new,& it will never change! There will always be those who truly believe they are a higher class than us, We had it from the Time of this countries 1st kings, William the Conq. & his beloved sons made things worse. Families that come from a heritage of affluance are the worst. The old "empires" were built on corruption & handed down thru the bloodline.They arnt about to lose "power" so readily. The Honest ancestors progressively died out mainly due to not being as cut-throat. We have an "old boys" click that will always look after their "members". We are the surfs, the lower masses,the rabble,the un-clean,the lepers.

[Orwell]

We are the surfs, the lower masses,the rabble,the un-clean,the lepers.

Shouldn't that be 'smurfs'?

Or did you mean 'surfs', as in 'surfies', Azriel?

(This old boy is definitely getting more easily confused by the day! )


{{{Did you realize you're the second oldest Forumshiran, Azriel...? don't mean to laugh tho you old fogie you ... now let me see, who was the oldest fogie here...? oh shit...}}}

[azriel]

Yeah,yeah! I get it...smurfs!, "Well here's one smurf still breathing"... I may be old, numerically. but I'm still young at heart, (which translates as a complete thick-wit,with half the mental capacity of an earth worm!) But hey, until they have me sectioned,(hark? do I hear the sound of pounding feet?...shit!) Il keep spouting more tripe till I get it right! The "younglings" are to young to know what Im on about, & anyone older than me is to old to care.

[Orwell]

Yeah,yeah! I get it...smurfs!

I was assuming of course that 'smurf' is another name for 'hobbit', Azriel.

"Well here's one smurf still breathing"...

I should hope so, else you'd be a Smurfghost!

I may be old, numerically. but I'm still young at heart,

Heart transplate? Good. I plan to the same thing myself one day.

(which translates as a complete thick-wit,with half the mental capacity of an earth worm!)

That might also be translated then as, "I'm your average Forumshiran type."

But hey, until they have me sectioned,(hark? do I hear the sound of pounding feet?...shit!) Il keep spouting more tripe till I get it right!

Shouldn't that be 'oozing' more tripe'? {{{Bad mental picture! Bad mental picture! }}}

The "younglings" are to young to know what Im on about,

The 'younglings' here are wiser (and far more evil) than you might yet realise, Azriel! {{{Especially Ally and Norc - disgusting depraved beasts --- they're foul-mouthed artistic types, you know... eek and yrrrrk.... ...}}}

& anyone older than me is to old to care.

And how, pray tell, would you know that?


{{{Note to self: ornery old basstid that Azriel -- will probly fit in ere quite well meybee... ope he can't read encrypted messages tho... newcomers often seem able to... must talk to Eldo about that, the incompetent young basstid... }}}

[Orwell]

Hey, I just suggested two good names for characters ito Anon Author in a another true history he's composing for Wholesome Tales -- 'Eeek' and "Yrrk'! Girl goblins, of course!


{{{Mrs Figg - if you're around - you gotta like that! }}}

[Mrs Figg]

Orwell, Azriel is a girl you twit.

and have you started the THING YET?????

[Orwell]

I just caught up with you on the Art Gallery Thread, but you'd just left.

{{{Does that make Azriel an 'Old Girl" --- oh dear... that's a dangerous business then... Can you be a Dear and put in a good word for me. I fear serious outcomes -- for me... }}}

[Orwell]

{{{Note to self: that should have been ... "ornery old basstidess that Azriel" -- }}}

[Mrs Figg]

theres a nice sofa here if you need it Orwell, Ive left you some bickies and other supplies.

[azriel]

Orwell, Re:- "smurfs", I said that coz on The Hobbit forum I said something daft,(again) & I was replied with "Gargomel" & I didnt get it at 1st,(do now!), yes, the "younglings" ARE wise & clever than I (darn it!)
Thankyou,Mrs Figg for informing Orwell Im a girl,
I laughed out loud heartily at being called a basstid ! & I really take it as a compliment about fitting in here! Its a hoot! Now off you go to bed,Orwell, dont forget to rub Reljex in all your hurt'y bits, slug back some Sanatogen,& have sweet dreams. Im still laughing! Basstidess ! ha ha!

[Orwell]

I don't wish to seem critical, Azriel, but you might have told me about the sex change!

[halfwise]

Orwell, Re:- "smurfs", I said that coz on The Hobbit forum I said something daft,(again) & I was replied with "Gargomel" & I didnt get it at 1st,(do now!), yes, the "younglings" ARE wise & clever than I (darn it!)
Thankyou,Mrs Figg for informing Orwell Im a girl,
I laughed out loud heartily at being called a basstid ! & I really take it as a compliment about fitting in here! Its a hoot! Now off you go to bed,Orwell, dont forget to rub Reljex in all your hurt'y bits, slug back some Sanatogen,& have sweet dreams. Im still laughing! Basstidess ! ha ha!

Azriel - you let him get away with all this?. Somebody needs to fill you in on Forumshire etiquette. First rule is: Orwell's not allowed to get away with anything. At least not with only one sweet-talking post. You've gotta make him work for it.
(Lord knows Figgy made me work for forgiveness on more than one occasion, and that was usually when I wasn't trying to insult her.)

[Pettytyrant101]

Figgy made me work for forgiveness on more than one occasion, and that was usually when I wasn't trying to insult her- Halfwise

Hah! try being me!

[halfwise]

Petty - I believe both of us have mentioned our dismay at the hours you keep. Isn't it like 40 million AM where you are?

[Pettytyrant101]

Its 3.31 AM HAlfwise- or as I call it Opening Hours

[azriel]

John (now Jean) is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has transformed him into a beautiful women.

His old friend Pete sees him and says, "John, you look great...you're beautiful!"

John says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt."

Pete says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?"

John says, "No, that didn't really hurt."

Pete says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?"

John says, "No, that didn't really hurt."

Pete says, "Then what did hurt?"

John says, "When the doctor drilled a f-ing hole in my head and sucked out half my brain."
Hows your head Orwell ? All that headbashing couldnt you did last night couldnt have helped ?

[Orwell]

No, no - not at all, Azriel. After a good session of head bashing I have a far simpler and happier view of the world and all life's trials.

For instance, when I became conscious again after my last period of sweet dark nothingness, I was no longer worried at all about your change of sexulaity. Mind, it was never the surgery itself that infuriated me, it was merely your failure to alert me of it's imminence; indeed, it's very after-the-fact-ness....

Oh dear.... it's all coming back now..

[azriel]

Oh dear! I do wish Id bleeped out the "F" word! I was in to much haste over that,sorry.
"all coming back to you" is it? ..... HA! Anyway, I'm 100% female, with all my flaws, & I'm proud to stay that way, I sometimes think that "we"(ladies) are more intune than guys,(certainly cursed with more hormones,) we are sensitive,(not in a weak way) & perceptive. I liken myself to my star sign, a Centaur, running wild & free, but at times, an hormonal centaur that cant find the stable!
(bleeped out the F word,! I dont actually like swearing,believe it or not,especially the "stronger" swear words)

[Orwell]

Swear words do get boring. I tend to use them as unexpectedly and as strategically as possible, for best effect you know, dear Lady ({{she did say 'lady', I'm sure she did - go figure!- and in Forumshire too! }}} And you must never mind or lie about your previous sexuality here. You are among friends, I assure you! {{{Except for our Admin, Eldo, who is one not be trusted, him being an Admin and all.}}}

By the way you'll find a character in the Arts and Entertainment section, Creative Corner section, Wholesome Tales Thread, that bears certain superficial similarities to you {{{or will eventually, anyway }}}, but I assure she is purely fictional.

Old Anon Author might have asked your permision, so as to not risk offending you, but didn't, as it's not Anon Authors policy to seek permission - sort of defeats the purpose of Wholesome Tales reallly...

Oh yes Recoveeryanonymous (Rodney, actually) and Lancebloke are there too --- purely fictionally as well!

This, btw, is not a paid announcement.

Oh yes everyone else in Forumshire is there too - or soon will be, if I know Anon Author at all, and I think I do. All, of course, are purely fictional, especially those horrid young ladies (?) Norc and Ally!

As I said - this is not a paid announcement.

[Mrs Figg]

..and there be dragons too, only the dragon is a lady dragon and she lies on a bed of jools and gets one stuck in a soft bit and gets a bit cranky and turns the grumpy dwarf Petty McTyrant into toast. .. maybe.