The News of the Pure

I hope no one minds if I sit back and assess this situation. ( )

Eldo! You're back. Um, well this is awkward, how unexpected but lovely to see you looking so well {{{ORWELL! I thought Eldo and Baingil were enjoying a break in the lovely surrounds of Forochel?}}}.
As I was just about to ressure Ally, Eldo, this is not a permenant set up, oh no not at all, this is merely a transitional regime holding everything together in your absence. The whole statue toppling thing is merely high spirits among the proles. Soon as you feel strong enough to take back over the reigns I am sure there will a peaceful handing over of government. {{By then Eldo better be holidaying in Forochel Orwell- or YOU will be. Got it!}}}

How nice of you to keep the seat of power warm for me, Petty. In gratitude to your services, I think I should appoint you to a cushy, out of the way little job where nothing important or stressful happens. How about head of the Manure Removal Authority?

Umm, I think I might just retire to my barrel to contemplate politics! With some buckie.

With some buckie ... if you can convince Her Maj to give you some!

I forgot about that!!!!

Here to help!

Psst. Petty! Here's some buckie from my fridge - my mum doesn't need it. Shhh...
What do you mean 'Of course she needs it'?
Just take it!!

Squach I do believe you may have been sent from buckie heaven! Now give, give me it, NOW Girl!!!!

{{{ps thanks and don't tell your mum!}}}

{{{No problem! I'm the one here to help!}}}

*bakes gingerbread men to overpower the smell of cinammon*

SQUACH...... NO SMUGGLING BUCKIE!!!! I like you, so I don't want to arrest you!

This is the act of an Empirial Monarch Tin!! I thought we had some sort of democracy around here now the old Admin is back in charge?
Buckie is sacred and stealing it from parents is a Scottish Rite of Passage!
Squach will learn valuable lessons when Kafria inevitably catches her in 'telling your parents exactly what they want to hear so you get out of trouble and how to disguise the smell of buckie on your breath.'

I do apologise your Majesty for the above tirade from myself whilst under the influenece of the vile dram, it was most unbecoming of me and you have my sincere and heartfelt apology.

I am sure you will be glad to know that I know longer intend to continue my assossciation with those drunken retrobrates at Pure Publications. Their lack of sobrietry has resulted in a journal not worthy of the name news, filled as it with little more than titttle-tattle and unseeming humour. No more. I have handed in my resignation to them, tore my contract up in their reddened alcoholic faces in fact.
So good souls of Forumshire you shall no longer have to tolerate this sleaze and further I intend to campaign strongly against its publication and to take myself forthwith to the offices of the Archet Bugle too, there to protest that it also be banned from this land.

Very good Mr. Tyrant {{{{{{{{{{{{{{ WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

10th Full Edition!!!
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genius

It's lovely to see the NOTP back in top form! A buckie-salute to everyone there, and to Petty for tirelessly delivering the paper each time it comes out.

I assume that our very own Emcee Petty Tyrant will be handling the Awards thread, but the Administration will have the Mayoral nominations thread open very soon. On my word as a politician.

I shall indeed be officially opening the awards thread very soon Eldo.

And I should get extra buckie when NotP has more pages, it doesn't half weigh down my paperbag and I ain't getting any younger or more sober (never again!)

Hey! I just noticed they didn't list the big award of last year- MOST PURE- which I won!!! Ther better be a Most Pure this year! Or someone's going to get it....hold on, bloody Pretty wrote that I bet she delibretly left it out just to wind me up!

You won a lot of awards last year; I think we need a more balanced set of categories this time around.

whatever are you implying Eldo. Those awards were completely ligit!

I'm sure they were, but I just think we should award not only the crabbit and angry, but also the accepting and happy this year. (Let no one say that you do not deserve awards for crabbit and angry people though!)

While you two have been chatting inanely, I've been "keeping an open mind!" As usual, NotP are behind in the news. I am currently investigating that Mrs Figg has "fabricated" her tale of abduction, well dunking, and dark creature molesting to entice Uncle Wisey into her "hobbit stealing" clutches. If true, I plan to impose a severe penalty in the field. Perhaps we need a catergory for "Worst Kind of Husband Stealer". Not that that's the official Shirriff Office view, just a personal one.

Ooh the Sherriff has her heckles up. Blimey she looks good when she's investigating!

Eldo I thought that was what the most liberal award was for? Lucky really I didn't name it the most deluded.
But I suppose if you sunny optimistic not right in the head, theres a pot of gold at the end of the PJ rainbow types feel the need who am I to stand in the way? You can think up a suitable category and nominees Eldo for the Awards Thread once I get it opened.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:10th Full Edition!!!
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How dare NotP print such "photo-shopped" rubbish. Yes: 'photo-shopped!

I was at Our Lady's during the whole debacle... My student's Prissy Bigbuds and Amelia Amplebottom were with me at the time going over "Alternatives in Propriety." I have half a mind to complain to the Admin about this ---- except.... well, what's the point?