Your New Look News of the Pure- Get it Here!

Note from Pure Publications- due to a legal investigation we sadly were unable to bring you our new competition 'Spot the Gaffers Balls.' We apologize to our readers and are sure the Gaffer will return as soon as he is released from the Lockholes (again).

Huzzah for new NotP! What a wonderful addition to the Christmas season.

{{{Not to be ungrateful but I'm having trouble reading some of the smaller text especially on pages two and three. Dunno if the images got resized automatically or if there's an easy workaround.}}}

Thanks so much for bringing this back, Petty!

{{Yeah something to do with how they are presented by the host- if you click on the image should take you to a bigger version }}

{{{I should've tried that first. Thanks Petty!}}}

Wow, 3 NotP at once!  (can we get uncensored versions as well? )

Many legal matters, true. Here hold my papers while I throw my hands up for this new look number.

I am here.


Watching.


Always watching.


Damn, I look fine on that cover.

WHOOP! WHOOP!

HEY!!! Just what are that lad and lass doing in MY BARN????

and btw, how is that Handsomely Hung appears to have divots cut out of his shoulders while Surprisingly Supple is perfectly outlined? One almost thinks she was lingered over while he got a rush job.

Just what are that lad and lass doing in MY BARN????- Dave

{{{Ah you noticed that! Um, according to the official statement issued on behalf of Pure Publications through Angmar and Sons- 'Pure Publications is always proud to showcase some of the splendid premises and sights of the people of Forumshire and such palantir-shoots are undertaken in the spirit of community harmony.'

If it were me though I wouldn't be so worried about the Lass and Lad so much as the all Scotshobbit palantir-shoot crew- I suspect you will find your harvest has been particualry well nourished!



how is that Handsomely Hung appears to have divots cut out of his shoulders while Surprisingly Supple is perfectly outlined?- Halfy

I have it on the account of Supple herself that HH is 'angular and chunky all over, and I mean ALL over' Any claims that the NotP palantir crew spent three times as long 'helping' Supple to 'prepare' are utterly spurious and will be met by the stern faces of Angmar and Sons!}}}

Ahhh... The good, old "We kicked the Scothobbit, yea high, yea high, up in the air in the air yea high yea high", it is a classic at Admin Summer Camp. I do look fab here as well. Too bad Eldo's ankles are covered up, he worked for months for that look he did.

Anyhow...

Look! Shiny!!



...or is it.... paint?!

Now THAT's what I call a nice glossy pair of shaved legs.


Why are we letting all the fake news in NotP push out the Hobbit Lass of the Day?

Fake news? I can confirm there is a draft report, although how it ended up in the hands of the press.. I cannot say.

I will spread the report as soon as humanly possible to the relevant institutions and affected parties. Then it will be released to the public to quell any further rumours in the press. I stress this is based on a draft of a draft report, not a finalized position paper.

I knew something was up with the government!

I see even retirement can't stop the NotP from simultaneously making me laugh and start looking into legal options.

Amarië wrote:Too bad Eldo's ankles are covered up, he worked for months for that look he did.

I'm still proud of those thighs though...

Do we get the uncensored version if we subscribe?

Now what could I have written on that placard that the picture had to be so small that you can't read it

  fantastic stuff!!!

had to zoom-in on Boromir's cake

I bet JJR Tolkien wouldn't believe his socks if he saw this