The News of the Pure
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Pettytyrant101
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Forumshire :: Other Topics :: Off-Topic
Page 6 of 23
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Re: The News of the Pure
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
Typical NotP- even their Norwegan correspondents are retrobates!
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
By the way, it seems I'll be missing out on the picnic after all, despite your best efforts! School starts the 9th of August, and I doubt that I will have any Internet connection for the first six weeks. It is therefore that I, with a heavy heart, give you all leave do to as you will with my share of the buckie
PS: My previous post should be more family friendly now![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
![Sad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_sad.gif)
PS: My previous post should be more family friendly now
![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen
![The News of the Pure - Page 6 Man-in-black](https://thelissachronicles.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/man-in-black.jpg?w=484&h=332)
Ringdrotten- Mrs Bear Grylls
- Posts : 4607
Join date : 2011-02-13
Re: The News of the Pure
![Sad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_sad.gif)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
No need to start rearranging everything because of me, Petty. Even if you change the date I won't be able to tell if I can attend the new one as I've only got a very vague idea of how the first few weeks/months will look like yet. I appreciate it, though ![Smile](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_smile.gif)
![Smile](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_smile.gif)
_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen
![The News of the Pure - Page 6 Man-in-black](https://thelissachronicles.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/man-in-black.jpg?w=484&h=332)
Ringdrotten- Mrs Bear Grylls
- Posts : 4607
Join date : 2011-02-13
Re: The News of the Pure
The NotP have asked me to read out a public statement on their behalf;
"We at the NotP deeply regret a recent mistranslation from a correspondence filed by our Norwegan reporter. In a story relating to the adventures of Ringdrotten we wrongly used the phrase, "#!%¤! huge herring". This was a translation error for which we apologize from the bottom of our hearts. We at the NotP pride ourselves above all else upon the accuracy of our reporting and we again apologize to our readers for this grave mistake in judgement. The translation should of course have read ""#!%¤! big herring".
We assure our readers such errors will not be allowed to slip by again.
Bear Muirdock, Pure Publications."
"We at the NotP deeply regret a recent mistranslation from a correspondence filed by our Norwegan reporter. In a story relating to the adventures of Ringdrotten we wrongly used the phrase, "#!%¤! huge herring". This was a translation error for which we apologize from the bottom of our hearts. We at the NotP pride ourselves above all else upon the accuracy of our reporting and we again apologize to our readers for this grave mistake in judgement. The translation should of course have read ""#!%¤! big herring".
We assure our readers such errors will not be allowed to slip by again.
Bear Muirdock, Pure Publications."
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
The NotP are too tight to waste print space, that costs money and money=buckie, they are never THAT sorry!
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
Um this should have been delivered yesterday, or possibly last week- there was a bit of a delivery problem (alright I was drunk! Happy now?). But here it is anyway. As usual don't shoot the messenger!
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_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
Defamation, no matter how hilarious, is defamation, NotP!
As to "Single Releases"... Tut! Haven't we heard all that before?
![Mad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_mad.gif)
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Re: The News of the Pure
ARCHET PLANS RESPONSE TO VIRULENT ATTACKS
When the staff of the Archet get back from their other day job, there will be a stern, and fact-accurate response!
Lesbo Proudfoot
Editor in Chief
The Archet Bugle
When the staff of the Archet get back from their other day job, there will be a stern, and fact-accurate response!
Lesbo Proudfoot
Editor in Chief
The Archet Bugle
The Archet Bugle- Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal
- Posts : 703
Join date : 2011-02-16
Re: The News of the Pure
Close enough, Petty
Got to love these big editions of NotP, especially now - keeps me updated on what's been going on ![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
![Laughing](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_lol.gif)
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen
![The News of the Pure - Page 6 Man-in-black](https://thelissachronicles.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/man-in-black.jpg?w=484&h=332)
Ringdrotten- Mrs Bear Grylls
- Posts : 4607
Join date : 2011-02-13
Re: The News of the Pure
Orwell I can assure the report in the NotP about your single is accurate!
(*probably)
Archet Bugle- I may well join you in your legal action against Pure Publications, employer or not. I knew Pretty being on that paper was going to be abad thing. I'd almost rather she went back to shamelessly flaunting herself on page 3 rather than attacking me.
Ringdrotten- I never knew the Danes looked so fearce! But I'm sure the NotP will be pleased someone actually reads their paper as news.
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
Archet Bugle- I may well join you in your legal action against Pure Publications, employer or not. I knew Pretty being on that paper was going to be abad thing. I'd almost rather she went back to shamelessly flaunting herself on page 3 rather than attacking me.
Ringdrotten- I never knew the Danes looked so fearce! But I'm sure the NotP will be pleased someone actually reads their paper as news.
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
![Extremely Crabbit](/users/1813/32/54/71/smiles/2276801876.gif)
![Banghead](/users/1813/32/54/71/smiles/398825057.gif)
_________________
"I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author." -JRRT
![The News of the Pure - Page 6 Tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500](https://33.media.tumblr.com/180826ead35802c931636879fcc1ff3d/tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500.gif)
Tinuviel- Finest Nose
- Posts : 1937
Join date : 2011-02-15
Age : 29
Re: The News of the Pure
Of course you're welcome in Mirkwood, Tinuviel!
And absent? Scarce, yes, absent, no. My eye is watching.
And absent? Scarce, yes, absent, no. My eye is watching.
Baingil- Guest of Eagles
- Posts : 485
Join date : 2011-02-17
Age : 31
Location : Planet Earth
Re: The News of the Pure
Thanks Baingil, but I think I'll stay away, just in case
![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
_________________
"I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author." -JRRT
![The News of the Pure - Page 6 Tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500](https://33.media.tumblr.com/180826ead35802c931636879fcc1ff3d/tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500.gif)
Tinuviel- Finest Nose
- Posts : 1937
Join date : 2011-02-15
Age : 29
Re: The News of the Pure
Oh come on, the spiders shouldn't bother you! Not after you put a few arrows in them, anyway.
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
Baingil- Guest of Eagles
- Posts : 485
Join date : 2011-02-17
Age : 31
Location : Planet Earth
Re: The News of the Pure
"Great, there goes Lothlorien.
Good job NotP."- Tin
Well given a choice between conservation and a quick cheap story we all know which NotP will go with- is that the smell of burning squirrel?
![Banghead](/users/1813/32/54/71/smiles/398825057.gif)
Well given a choice between conservation and a quick cheap story we all know which NotP will go with- is that the smell of burning squirrel?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
PETTY PLANS LEGAL RESPONSE
Respected (after a fashion) Forumshire Luminary, Mr Petty Tyrant 101, is planning a Legal Response to cetain salacious and misleading (and posibly accurate) deridings of his Laudable (after a fashion) Self by the notorious rag (and secondhand toilet roll of a paper) the News of the Pure.
Petty: "What that notorious secondhand toliet roll of a paper has done to my reputation (if I had one) cannot be agreed to, accepted or countenanced in any way, shape or form. The Editors and Journalists of that pernicious addled-brained staff should mind their own business and keep their sick Hebridean noses out of my business, crevices and piggeries. The slander (whether factual or not) cannot and WILL NOT be borne. My Legal Team from Blotto, Blearyeye and Dizzy are even now drawing up a Civil Suit - and it's not likely to be very Civil at all!"
We the staff of this Laudable and Respectable journal can only wish Mr Petty Tyrant 101 all the best in his efforts to REVEAL NotP for exactly what it is; the Reporter of Other People's Private Business!
Lesbo Proudfoot
Editor in Chief
The Archet Bugle
Respected (after a fashion) Forumshire Luminary, Mr Petty Tyrant 101, is planning a Legal Response to cetain salacious and misleading (and posibly accurate) deridings of his Laudable (after a fashion) Self by the notorious rag (and secondhand toilet roll of a paper) the News of the Pure.
Petty: "What that notorious secondhand toliet roll of a paper has done to my reputation (if I had one) cannot be agreed to, accepted or countenanced in any way, shape or form. The Editors and Journalists of that pernicious addled-brained staff should mind their own business and keep their sick Hebridean noses out of my business, crevices and piggeries. The slander (whether factual or not) cannot and WILL NOT be borne. My Legal Team from Blotto, Blearyeye and Dizzy are even now drawing up a Civil Suit - and it's not likely to be very Civil at all!"
We the staff of this Laudable and Respectable journal can only wish Mr Petty Tyrant 101 all the best in his efforts to REVEAL NotP for exactly what it is; the Reporter of Other People's Private Business!
Lesbo Proudfoot
Editor in Chief
The Archet Bugle
The Archet Bugle- Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal
- Posts : 703
Join date : 2011-02-16
Re: The News of the Pure
What the *!#!! Are you trying to get me killed Bugle?
I never said that! I only said I was thinking about it, and even then only very quietly to myself, in a dark corner. Have you any idea what Pure Publications will do to me if they think I am trying to sue them? I only thought about it because the Bugle was threatening legal actions (which I note they have cowarded out of).
And I did not give that staement either. I don't even know what 'countenanced' means!
Oh bugger I'm going to end up on a trolls sandwich and then who will deliver the NotP?
![pale](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_pale.gif)
And I did not give that staement either. I don't even know what 'countenanced' means!
Oh bugger I'm going to end up on a trolls sandwich and then who will deliver the NotP?
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
At the risk of becoming a spokeshobbit for The Bugle, I'm sure they meant well.
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Re: The News of the Pure
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_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: The News of the Pure
I don't remember taking part in no revolution! I quite liked Lord Eldo. No praising PJ — looks like I'll be spending most of my time in the stocks...
Still I'm glad the new regime isn't upping the propaganda levels- still as biased as ever!!
![Sad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_sad.gif)
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
SHUT UP CAROLINE.
Ally- Wannabe Beard
- Posts : 2789
Join date : 2011-02-13
Age : 30
Location : they/them
Re: The News of the Pure
Ally, I think that should be: "I don't remember taking part in no "Glorious" revolution."
Bless Petty, Great Soul! Amen.
Bless Petty, Great Soul! Amen.
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Re: The News of the Pure
Hard to catch up, but the News here is funny...
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
"Woman is (still) the Nigger of the World"
Anne- Clue-finder
- Posts : 101
Join date : 2011-10-13
Age : 35
Re: The News of the Pure
I'm afraid crabbit levels are markedly increasing for me.
This isn't over until these rebels drag me from a drainpipe and parade me around the streets of Sirte Hobbiton. Viva la ancien regime!
![Evil or Very Mad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_evil.gif)
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» News from the set [2]
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