Agent Nora and the Freaky Bean

Gladofiggs was a bit of an eyeopener. She had a 'rustic' Mancunian accent and 'rustic' manners. She wasnt ethereal at all.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! look how I can spin on this stool with me long frock!", she cried.
"oops its all tangled up bugger, I do try to be all stiff and speak-like-a-wooden-dummy-with-constipation, but I haz figgs and I know how to use em! harhar *gurgle* hawhawhaw!"
They all secretly thought she had lost her marbles (and she had. In 2083 while slumming in Valinor the party Island she had taken too many sims and it had made her a sillymillyron)
"youhoo G.B watcha dooin here?" she said
"Buggered if I know", he said.
"we have come to read the moon letters", said Elthir quietly but masterfully.
"I do like it when he gets all hoity toity", said Orwie dreamily.
"yeah me too", said Eldolas.
"got a mancrush", he added.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! look how I can spin on this stool with me long frock!", she cried.


You made me spit out my buckie in laughter with that line! Going to take ages to sook it all back out the carpet.

They decided to get the moon letter reading over with, they wanted to get out of Rivendyke asap. G.B wanted to take them over the mountain of Kajagoogoo before the snows got too thick.
"Bring forth the map", said Elthir majestically.
"well? who's got it?" he said.
They all looked at one another.
"I havent got it", said Orwie.
"I gave it to you", said Eldolas to G.B.
"no you didnt, you gave it to Azriel, and she gave it to Halfy".
"Its back in Bree isnt it?" said Elthir wearily.
They all nodded.
"Its a crap ice table anyway", said Nora.
"Ikea do one called Fiskfotterç, its great, really sturdy, with that unmistakable Scandiwegian design ethos for the masses in renewable materials".
Elthir glowered and fiddled with 'Tater Hater'.
Which started to glow softly in the moonlight.
"your Orcsword is pointing at me", said Orwie, "you are not going to thrust it in me are you?" he said backing off sharpish.
"Here be goblinses!", said G.B, "Fly you Fools!!".

They ran helter skelter down the stairways and bridges of Rivendyke. They grabed their white/grey ponies and cantered away as fast as their hairy legs would trot.
"hey where everyone go?, said Gladofiggs, "bugger this I am off home to watch Orx Factor".
and she disappeared in a poof of ripe air.
They couldnt go very fast because it was dark and Hollin Park was full of hidden Doggers and Wargs. They kept tripping over prone bodies and disturbing groaning issued from the undergrowth.
"this place sucks", said Nora, "lets get to Kajagoogoo as soon as we can".
They travelled on through the night and early morning they stopped made camp and slept a bit. They all had bad dreams some of them snapped awake thinking horrible things were clutching them, but it was mostly Orwie who had wandering hands.

'Hollin Park was full of hidden Doggers and Wargs.'

"Ice table" and "poof of ripe air" got me.

They all woke not feeling very rested and full of bruises where Orwies groping fingers had pinched them.
They all gave him dirty looks and the silent treatment until he said, "whaaat? and shrugged.
The mountain loomed up into the icy blue sky, the summit was hidden by clouds.
"do we really have to go up there? said Halfy, "I can hear fell voices in the air, there are rumbling stones, and crushing bones".
"Nah, thats Orwies tummy" said Nora.
and indeed it was. He hadnt had a decent turf n' surf barbie for days, and his intestine was crying out for mercy.
They kept naked flames as far away as possible.
G.B looked up at the forbidding mountain pass, stones and rubble were rolling down over cliffs, snow laden dark grey clouds were beginning to swoop and swirl round the summit like vultures. The temperature was dropping alarmingly and heavy sleet started to cover the path making visibility pretty nigh impossible.
"sod this for a game of darts" he said under his breath. "I dont care if the prophecy says 'Long was this Doom foretold, thou shalt face off the Bieberog Foul Flame of Youtoob.

Kajagoogoo ! Orx factor! chuffing brilliant !

oh, will I ever get a character

"Listen" said G.B, "I ain't going up there, I much much rather take my chances in the mines of Moria by the lake of Kardashian dum".
"but what about the Bieberog?" said Rodney Dunedain.
"he will make you cry".
"talking to you dummies makes me cry!" said G.B irritably
They trudged past the mountain, which seemed to be very smug at having scared them off, as it let out a thundering snigger, which was harsh.
G.B shuck his fist at it, and it made a shuddering raspberry in return.
"I hate Kajagoogoo", he said.
"dont we all", said Orwie. "its a never ending story".

well CC, Ally got a character not far back. but we may meet you soon.

oh i think ally missed that

But y people think im ally i never no

Mrs figg :- I love all the subtle little nips you put in !

They reached the mines of moria as the sun was setting behind the rugged mountains. They could hear the doggers howling in the night, getting closer and closer.
"its time to say goodbye to the ponies" said Rodney
"even poor old Orwie?" said Halfy.
"haw haw very funny", said Orwie, he didnt admit it but he was insulted by that comment, and went into a profound huff.
"That was rather a bitchy thing to say", said Eldolas, who had taken on the role of peace maker in the group.
"sorry Orwie" said Halfy contrite.
"humppfff!" said Orwie.
"Oh YAWN!" said Nora, "kindergarten fodder, if you lived in Svalfart you would toughen up pretty quickly, we climb enormous mountains barefoot in the storms when we are toddlers, and we ride the backs of wolves and mooses when we have too much earwax, we get dizzy from the resulting inner ear inbalance, and fall off the mooses, its fun.
Halfy and Orwie looked suitably awed.
"hey how do we get into the mines?, said Azriel.
"theres a funny door thingie, with shiny letters".
"there is a special code or trick to it", said G.B.
A bird hopped down onto a stone and looked at them all with a beady eye.
seeing as most creatures talked in Avalon, they asked it who it was, and what it wanted.
"I am a CC -crow" it said.
"I am just here to watch you getting owned by the horrible monster in the pool".
and then I will CCcrowwwwwwww and sell my waterproof bananas to the king of Atlantis".
"okaaaay!" said Elthir.

that sure sounds like somethin I'd say

yep, it does !

Fantastic!

Your characterization is as spot-on as ever, Mrs Figg!

mines of Moria by the lake of Kardashian dum" Bieberog

kindergarten fodder, if you lived in Svalfart you would toughen up pretty quickly, we climb enormous mountains barefoot in the storms when we are toddlers, and we ride the backs of wolves and mooses when we have too much earwax, we get dizzy from the resulting inner ear inbalance, and fall off the mooses, its fun.

true though.

"so whats the password?" said Halfy very anxiously.
He didnt like the sound of the horrible monster in the pool.
"stuff and nonsense" said Rodney, "you only have to worry if you have a Ring of Fire".
Orwie blushed a painful beetroot colour, and sidled up to the door with his back to the wall of the cliff.
"whats the word for 'friend' in Elvish?, said Nora.
"M8". said G.B.
the great cliff-face gave a groaning squeak and an invisible door swung open revealing a pich black cavernous hole.
"quickly!", "inside", said Elthir.
He wasnt sure about the ripples on the pool surface quickly heading towards them. The movement of the water set off a hideous stench of stagnant water and sulphorous sediment. Something had been awoken from the deep cold depths, and it was coming to get them.
They ran into the blackness and the door swung closed behind them and an awful crunching scraping scratching was heard outside.
G.B turned on his staff, and the mine was revealed in all its blue hued magnificence.
"My cousin Bignose will give us a royal welcome!", cried Elthir.
"he's a bit Grumpy, but his hearts in the right place".
"I dont remember all these twisty windy twirly paths and entrance ways", said G.B

Oh you so made my day!

"OOOhhhh!" said Nora. "there's eyes in the darkness."
"dont worry its just Twilight fans pretending to be vampires, they put plastic teeth in and run around pretending to be Cullens".
"thats sad", said Nora, "I blame tumblr".
"I can hear moaning and crying", said Azriel.
"thats just the Sherlock fans weeping with John", said Rodney.
"I can hear snide comments and huffing", said Halfy.
"thats just the Moffat/ RTD fans having a dig at each other", said G.B.
"can we GET ON with it", said Elthir.