Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:51 am

Yeah I am more than happy I didnt have HP in my life as a kid- I was too busy reading all the original better works she ripped off! You know my feelings on LotR's well enough. And the Pirates films only the first one is any good and even then its just entertaining, not exceptional or mind blowing as SW was in its time.

I think I lucked out- the original SW trilogy was the best cinema trilogy to happen to you aged 7. Its pretty much perfect for a 7 year old.

by Eldorion Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:57 am

Yeah I don't put Pirates on the same level as Star Wars or LOTR, but I do love those movies a crazy amount.

My feelings on Harry Potter have grown more mixed as I've gotten older, though I'm not sure if it's for the same reason as you, since I still adore the first several books, which IIRC were the only one(s) you read. The movie series was massively inconsistent though, far too much to place it in the top tier of fantasy-adventure classics. But it's still deeply enmeshed with my childhood and the whole generational experience of growing up in the early 2000s. Nod

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:01 am

But it's still deeply enmeshed with my childhood and the whole generational experience
- Eldo

Unfortunately for you that is true, which is why I am so grateful I was lucky enough to get the original SW to be that part of my generational cinema experience. Nod

(And there wasn't a lot to enjoy in the 70's as a kid unless you have thing for corduroy trousers and rainbow tank tops Mad

)

by ElendilTheShort Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:02 am

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Well to seriously labour an unpleasant metaphor- if someone serves you up for dinner two plates of steaming shite, and then you get told they are making you a third, and its described to you, and the description sounds exactly like a pile of steaming shite, I dont think its too great a leap to suspect you are about to be served up yet another dinner of steaming shite!

Stupid, stupid me. I just brush my teeth between courses and hope the next is going to be better. I should have stopped watching this tragic tryhard trilogy after those dwarves stopped singing in Bag End. At least at that point I could have by and large said....well he nailed it, but I'm too busy to watch the rest of these movies so I'll just asume they're going to be pretty good based on these few scenes, with only a few misfires and changes only as required.

Commenting elsewhere there are the usual excuses and apologists. Ohh no Filis death is just an interpretation of what whats his name wrote, everyone has a different version in their head, bla, bla, bla, puke. I'm not even gonna ask to excuse my juvenille language, its the best, in fact better than these movie changes deserve. Lucky me living not only in New Zealand but in the Wellington region, I get to hear more than anyone anywhere else how awesome and what a genius sir PJ and co are.

by Eldorion Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:03 am

But who wouldn't want to grow up with the Bee Gees? scratch

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:07 am

I just brush my teeth between courses and hope the next is going to be better. -Elendil

Well at least thats just optimism. The real trouble is with those who when served their meal of steaming shite try to convince themselves and everyone else its a gourmet meal cooked to perfection and without blemish!

Ad I sympathise with your plight in NZ- a beautiful country by all accounts with wonderful people (An old friend moved there and has nothing but good things to say about its locals), but must be tricky when you dont praise the local Godhead!

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:09 am

But who wouldn't want to grow up with the Bee Gees?- Eldo

Yeah nightmares about giant teeth!!! Still was better than the Bay City Rollers and prog rock tracks where they were too stoned to realise the song should have ended half an hour ago Mad

Thank goodness for the arrival of punk!

by **Orwell** Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:33 am

I heard Adam Sandler is going to make a cameo. That should get a few bums on seats... sorry, I don't mean Europeans... a few butts on seats. Very Happy

.

by Mrs Figg Mon Dec 01, 2014 12:13 pm

well its official. BO5A is bollocks.

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 12:42 pm

Yup it does sound absolutely awful.
And it doesnt really matter how good the first half of the film is, or the build up to the battle if every detail of the battle is as bad as this review makes it out to be- and I dont doubt the review.

It seems the key moments required for it to count as an adaptation- the crucial arrival of Beorn and his influence on the outcome, Fili and Kili falling defending Thorin are gone, replaced with this weird fanfiction with Legolamb and Tauriel and co.
Just confirms what I have thought since LotR's- they dont really like Tolkiens writing and much prefer their own made up stuff and to focus on that instead.

by Mrs Figg Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:03 pm

hey leave LOTR out of this!

there is absolutely no comparison to be made. The BO5A is out and out garbage with no excuses. and whats with the bizarre Strider reference, and Legolas's mum? its off its chump.

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:05 pm

there is absolutely no comparison to be made.- Mrs Figg

If there is no comparison to make how can I have been making the same complaints about LotR's as with TH before TH films even existed?

by Mrs Figg Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:06 pm

because you are you. Very Happy

cant wait to see Legolas Flying on a bat though. Laughing

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:27 pm

because you are you.- Figg

Well I ain't psychic so I must just be right Twisted Evil

by halfwise Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:57 pm

ElendilTheShort wrote:SPOILERS.......FFS Fili........what the effen hell. Killed on display to taunt Thorin, so much for his heroic protecting Thorin with body and shield. Eff all Beorn obviously he doesn't turn the battle and once agian a Legolas action orgy to get all the fangirls and fanboys so inclined all hot and bothered. If this is all correct then there is no curse in the tounges of elves, dwarves, men or even the black speech of mordor to descibe what a steaming pile of last nights dinner the writers and director are.

With all of the significant stuff that seems to be held back possibly for the EE I am seriously wondering if some numbnuts marketing shite head has decreed this is essential to max out the EE sales to all us Tolkien nerds figuring that the mass public don't give a toss about the finer details (you know, the stuff actually in the book).

I like your style, ETT. Twisted Evil

Hope to see more of you in the next few weeks, as we'll be needing help with the shite shovelling.

by malickfan Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:27 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:From a post on ToRN by poster Dcole4 who says they have seen the film (I rather hope they havent given the description ).
Basically they like the first half and the build up, then it all goes horribly cgi pear shaped-

Spoiler:

Oh dear oh dear

Sums it up I think...

Honestly I'm not at all surprised by any of these relevations, at least Jackson is being consistent....

by bungobaggins Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:28 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:From a post on ToRN by poster Dcole4 who says they have seen the film (I rather hope they havent given the description ).
Basically they like the first half and the build up, then it all goes horribly cgi pear shaped-

Spoiler:

Oh dear oh dear

Now I'm just depressed. I don't even want to get out of bed. I think I will pass on this movie if all of this is true.

by malickfan Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:40 pm

I just feel sorry for Bill,y Connoly, regardless of his opnions on Tolkien, the man is a fantastic actor, and a great entertainer, he's been talking up the role of Dain in recent months, and after his health problems (he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and had an operation for cancer soon after he shot his scenes in 2012) it seems a bit of a stab in the back to more or less cut his scenes down to a CG cameo, admittedly his health issues/scheduling problems probably played a part, but this just sounds fishy Christopher Lee in ROTK all over again.

Evil or Very Mad

by bungobaggins Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:18 pm

Torn user dcole put up a longer review.

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=802198;guest=125845741#802198

by malickfan Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:21 pm

bungobaggins wrote:Torn user dcole put up a longer review.

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=802198;guest=125845741#802198

I think I'm going with my 'treating it as a non self aware comedy' idea.

That Aragorn stuff is stupid though, I had read rumours Mortensen had actually shot a cameo...

by bungobaggins Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:27 pm

I honestly do not want to see the movie anymore.

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:34 pm

dcole's longer review does not exactly help matters any- in fact a lot of the detail seems even worse- no funeral? Do we even get Thorins famous last words?

by malickfan Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:41 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:dcole's longer review does not exactly help matters any- in fact a lot of the detail seems even worse- no funeral? Do we even get Thorins famous last words?

They defintely filmed Thorin's last word, though the scene was filmed outside and the words were changed from 'food and good cheer' to 'home' I I recall correctly, I'm fine with both changes, I just really hope PJ executes this as a simple one to one scene...

by malickfan Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:42 pm

bungobaggins wrote:I honestly do not want to see the movie anymore.

I don't think I do, but as it is the last I kinda feel obligated...

by bungobaggins Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:48 pm

The final trailer made it look like the movie might at least be fun. But all this does not sound fun. It sounds like it's going to be a straight up bad movie.