Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]

"Hey its the Witchking and mace from RotK, oh no its just Bolg and another pathetic callback-"

You know I hadn't thought about that when I watched the tv spot. But this time they didn't have to make a real mace.

"Your guess is as good as mine-"

PJ's cameo, me thinks.

Nenya becoming a ray weapon is one of the most cringe-worthy things PJ has ever done, if that is indeed what it looks like.

Fits with the video game style they've chosen, though

Lend me that knife Ringo ! IL do myself also.
What a load of shat ! Oh how I wished Thorin would slip off that yet another precarious ledge, cliff, table top, I dont know ! just fooking fall will ya ! Looks like Bert woke up & joined in, on one of those stills ? Im convinced even more to stay in & wash my hair !

On e thing thats been deeply puzzling me is Gandalfs line "the dwarves were never meant to reach the mountain."

WTF? He was instrumental in sending them there. He has in movieverse been apparently trying to get the dwarves to go back there since Thrain first got kicked out. So what the buggery is that line all about?

Eldorion wrote:I didn't really want to try to reduce the song to whether or not it's logical, because I do like it and find it to be emotionally effective, but all the casual accusations that the song is exploitative kinda bothered me so I wanted to propose an alternative explanation.

to be fair, my cynicism about the exploitative nature of the song, is a result of 4 years of WB antics. If I had heard this song in LOTR I would have been happily tearjerked to buggery.

why does Galadriel look like a pregnant woman in her nightie? why is it all so bloody ugly?

If that is truly Dain, WHY oh WHY does he have a freaking HAMMER instead of his legendary double headed red axe ???

                               
just in case its true

Obviously, because Peter Jackson forgot to read the appendices and then needed something to wipe his ass with, after he got done shitting all over the pages of the Hobbit book. That's got to be the only reason. Or maybe he just  understood the word "axe" and his mind said, "you know what would be cooler than a dual headed broad axe?", "A big two sided hammer", "oh yeah we'll make it red, so that people believe we give a shit", {{{ whispers}}} "but between you and me I never read the appendices or even care whats in them"

Talk about just rewriting a character for no good damn reason at all. It's garbage like this that gets me fired up about Jackasson's take on middle earth this time around. As I've stated in many of other posts Dain is my personal favorite character ever since reading the appendices over 3 decades ago.His character was written flawlessly in the book and additional material. He was shown to have great physical strength, shown to be wise, shown to be cautious, Shown as courageous, and shown to be caring. ALL the traits of a great leader. Yet we get him as the guy who won't help his own kin, we hear no word of him till the death of the dragon, he shows us nothing of value to accept his being made king under the mountain. At this point,2/3 of the way through the films we have a Dain who has said to the dwarfs of Erebor, "This quest is yours and yours alone" And then the few points that are perfectly described about him are changed for no valid reason other than the directors or writers own vanity to tell "their story" through a piss poor thought out character. The only plus side I have heard of Dain coming in, is his riding a giant Boar which is a perfect animal steed for a dwarf king, Tough and stubborn and impossible to move unless it want's to be moved. Everything else of Dain as far as these films are concerned for me stinks as much as the pig shit left behind by Dain's boar.

I dont like the boar thing at all- for me one of the enduring (in all senses) imprerssions of dwarvishness from Tolkien is them marching en masse, unrelenting, fully armoured and tooled up, just marching right at you unstoppable and unyielding, all silent determination.

I guess the boar is either going to be hit or miss with people.    Having been raised around rather large pigs and moving to a region where there are rather large wild pigs or boar, who are quite savage and brutal in their own right. I can respect that choice of mount. I also see your point petty about basically the dwarf being so tough that it doesn't need a mount going into battle. Here is where I think Jackson did take advantage of wanting these dwarfs different and showing them mounted on some sort of beast capable of moving along the rocky terrain. Which he chose Boar and Goats both are hearty tough creatures and I don't mind seeing a few scattered throughout the battle. I would rather see lots and lots of dwarfs in platoons marching into war. I'm all for the Boar and goats but those "steeds" being left to only those of rank, or position in the dwarven ranks. we only have a few weeks till we know how bad these films will end up. I'm not holding on to any hope to be honest Jackasson has already butchered too much of what could have been, by his half assed attempt at rewriting Tolkien's quaint adventure tale into some over bloated precursor to the end of middle earth. Making his story all about Sauron's return, how much the ring corrupted Bilbo's mind. Not to mention how much Sauron and the rings influence was layered all through middle earth's beings. Instead of making this tale about A hobbit who went on an adventure and came back a bit different some how. the tale is focused on everything in the journey that made him different, by changing from the original context that changed him to a completely different tale.....

Rambling as drugs kick in and I'm off to bed for the night

Accurate rambling though Sin. These films are not TH because fundamentally they are about something entirely different and invented by PJ and co.

is it me or do those colours look swamped in teal/orange? I dont like the look of it, its tweaked beyond bearing.

The vid is in low quality, as are the screenshots I took from it. And frankly I am not motivated enough by the prospect of the film to go hunt down all of them in HD.
But it might look better, though I doubt it the colour correction in the first two was pretty artificial and horrendous looking, I dont expect it to change.

I have tried to think of how best to sum this up, but its looks so abysmal to my eyes I cant find the words.

Dain on his war-pig-

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I have tried to think of how best to sum this up, but its looks so abysmal to my eyes I cant find the words.

Dain on his war-pig-

Wait, is that real, or a joke?

So apparently the leaders of every race gets their own animal/vehicle.

Dain for the Dwarves: Pig
Thranduil for Elves: Moose
Azog for Orcs: Warg

I can only assume Bard will arrive on a skate-board.

Wait, is that real, or a joke?- Bungo

As far as I can ascertain is completely legit and is from the BoFA Empire issue.

I can only assume Bard will arrive on a skate-board.- Halfy

Havent you been paying attention Halfy   - Bard gets about the battlefield by horseless cart! (I assume like a kid with a sled he has to keep dragging it back up hills though to have another go)

You know I wish I was just making this all up, but-

My first thought was that that Dain pic had to be fake because he had a full beard. But if it's from a scan of the new Empire magazine ... well, I hope it's just a low-quality scan or that the FX for that scene were unfinished.

Well this is shameless-

That TV spot actually makes me not want to see the movie. And I think that's way more manipulative than the Last Goodbye music video.

Now THAT is an example of offensively pandering and exploitative marketing.

Eldorion wrote:Now THAT is an example of offensively pandering and exploitative marketing.

It also gives the wacked out impression that BOTFA is somehow the conclusion of the saga. And calling it "the defining chapter" is bottom of the barrel.

Good point. I'm wondering what sort of plot twists or revelations they might pull out in BOFA to try to make it seem more like the conclusion/like it sheds light on LOTR. Of course, it could just be an empty marketing slogan instead.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I have tried to think of how best to sum this up, but its looks so abysmal to my eyes I cant find the words.

Dain on his war-pig-

I prefer a war boar like this
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This war pig would be a kick ass orc killing machine

whats with the cloned Elven warriors. Even I could Photoshop better than that.