Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:59 pm

I don't expect Petty to agree- Eldo

And you would be right not to.

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Post by Eldorion Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:04 pm

:hug:
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:07 pm

Suspect

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Post by Tinuviel Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:30 pm

Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2] - Page 31 B33P1RCCEAAT74k

I got this from Twitter! Sure I don't care for the movies, but I do love me some Lee Pace Cool


{{{{{{{{{P.S. Ignore the name at the top please and thankyou Wink }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:40 pm

I can crop that picture for you if you want Tin to remove the name.

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:54 pm

sorry to interupt the non cynical mood but I just saw a clip from Dooglydoor. It was,

TERRIBLE!!!!! appallingly bad. speechless what they have done to Galadriel!! no words to describe the arrival of Elrond and Saruman. (((although gotta love Elrond looking mighty cool)))) but still, THE DIALOGUE, the way Galadriel supposedly the most powerful Elven Queen needing to be rescued by Saruman and Elrond.

hahahahahahahahaha! Galadriel is shaking in her boots  CARRYING A FLOATING GANDALF!!!!! OH. MY. GIDDY. AUNT.

SRSLY THAT WAS BAD slap laugh

what were they thinking this is crap on so many levels. Extremely Crabbit


Last edited by Mrs Figg on Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Eldorion Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:56 pm

I was going to try to take it easy with reading all the reviews after binging on spoilers last night, but this sounds like something I gotta see.

(And I was wondering from the reviews why people were only mentioning Elrond and Saruman fighting, not Galadriel.)
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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:59 pm

http://uk.ign.com/videos/2014/12/02/the-hobbit-the-battle-of-the-five-armies-im-not-alone-clip
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Post by Eldorion Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:05 pm

Holy shit.  That was so bad I can only respond in numbered list format.

1. The CGI Nazgul are bad.  Like really bad.  Much worse than Azog in AUJ. No

2. What is it with Boyens claiming to be some champion of women in fantasy in all her interviews and then doing the exact opposite in her actual films?  Last year it was all about Tauriel in this empowering, ground-breaking role, except she was actually most just there for the love triangle.  This year it was about how Galadriel was the most powerful person in Middle-earth at the time, and now she's a fucking damsel in distress who needs to be rescued (I'm sorry, assisted)? F You

3. Apparently Galadriel and Elrond, both of whom we already know have armies at their command, went to Dol Guldur alone as a posse, despite also knowing (or at least being able to reasonably surmise) that Sauron had an army of his own that was barracked at Dol Guldur. :facepalm:

4. "You should have stayed dead."  Who rights these lines?  Oh wait. Mad
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Post by Eldorion Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:09 pm

Fortunately this clip of Bilbo and Gandalf (and Thranduil) is MUCH better.  A good character moment for B&G here, although it's a scenario they're only put in because of the major changes to the structure of the battle.  But I'll forgive that, especially after the atrociousness of the Dol Guldur scene.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=760258927343048
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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:15 pm

only that scene plays out because we all know Bilbo has the RING!! Rolling Eyes its all about the freaking Ring. So Bilbo being heroic. Not so much. Mad But still. its a lot better than Dooglydoor.
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Post by Eldorion Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:16 pm

At this point I'll take anything that is effective within the context the films are trying to establish for themselves.
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Post by parzival Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:18 pm

Yeah, that scene is really bad. First off, what the hell is up with the pacing? Galadriel carries Gandalf down this giant stairwell, is surrounded by Nazgul, puts Gandalf down and kneels beside him, is rescued by Saruman and Elrond who then attack the Nazgul, in well under 2 minutes. How the hell do you manage to shortchange a scene like this when you've had 3 damned films dedicated to the one book? It seems like the filmmaking meanderings of a lunatic.

And then there's everything else. Galadriel trying to act godly and scared at the same time is just embarrassing. And needing to be rescued. Blah. So that's the payoff? She didn't come alone, she came with reinforcements? Why the hell is she so scared then?

Sauron needing to actually recite the epigraph is a new level of pandering stupidity.
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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:27 pm

The thing that gets my goat the most is what they have done to Galadriel. Galadriel is arguably the most powerful person there. If not their equal in every way. She doesnt need rescuing, she could probably take on Sauron never mind a few Nazgul. The imagery was ugly, they made her look ugly, the most beautiful Elven Queen reduced to shaking and weight lifting like I cant forgive them for this.
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Post by Sinister71 Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:28 pm

Found this review from someone who claims to have seen the film thought y'all might want to read it...

http://67.227.255.239/forum/showthread.php?p=141192592



Spoiler Alert ....




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Post by malickfan Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:30 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:http://uk.ign.com/videos/2014/12/02/the-hobbit-the-battle-of-the-five-armies-im-not-alone-clip

Well, that was crap...

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Post by malickfan Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:31 pm

Sinister71 wrote:Found this review from someone who claims to have seen the film thought y'all might want to read it...

http://67.227.255.239/forum/showthread.php?p=141192592

The movie opens with no prologue, and continues directly where the last movie, The Desolation of Smaug, left off. Smaug is burning the shit out of Laketown. He wrecks the place. People screaming, burning, trying to escape.  The Master or Laketown is trying to escape in a small rowboat with his lackey Alfrid, and as much gold as they can carry. The boat is going too slowly so the Master pushes Alfrid overboard.  Tauriel, Kili, Fili, Bofur, Oin and Bard's kids are also in a rowboat trying to escape.  Bard is still locked up but manages to escape, I won't spoil how as it's quite funny. He climbs atop the tallest tower of Laketown where the windlance launcher is and tries to take out Smaug with some regular arrows. Back in the Tauriel boat, Bard's son Bain spots his father and remembers where he stashed the Black Arrow at the end of the last movie. He leaves the boat, retrieves the Black Arrow and gets it to his father.  Around the middle of this scene, we zoom out of Laketown to see Bilbo and company on the outskirts of Erebor watching the assault. Thorin doesn't seem to care and has his eyes fixed on Erebor.  At this point, Smaug has stopped flying around and is pissed off at Bard. He hasn't had any lines up to this point, but now he taunts Bard, asking if Bain is his son. You can tell Cumberbatch is relishing in voicing all this dialogue as Smaug slowly stalks toward them.  The windlance has been smashed and so Bard has to construct a makeshift launcher using his damaged longbow, propping the Black Arrow on his son's shoulder. There's quite a touching moment here where Bain thinks he's going to die, and Bard tells Bain to keep his eyes on him. The Black Arrow pierces Smaug and he roars in agony, swooping into the air and writhing around. He opens his mouth to cry out, but there's no sound as the colour fades from his eyes and he plummets out of the sky, dead. Crushing the Master of Laketown dead beneath him.  We cut back to Bilbo and Co., having seen Smaug fall dead. Again, Thorin doesn't seem to care, he only cares about Erebor.  We cut to a very short scene where we see Gandalf imprisoned in Dol Guldur as a reminder of his fate in the last film.  Next we see the residents of Laketown washed up on the shores nearby, trying to recover whatever they can. There's some very funny scenes here with Alfrid trying to take control because the Master is dead, but quickly shifts his allegiance to Bard after realising the people are going to support him now. The four Dwarves set off in a boat to the Mountain to meet up with the others, and Kili declares his love for Tauriel, saying he's not afraid. She seems conflicted but as though she wants to be with him too. Kili gives Tauriel his mother's 'promise' talisman. They are promptly interrupted by Legolas who commands Tauriel to come with him. Bard tells the people to gather what they can and then find shelter:


Yeah I read that earlier, very few surprises, you might want to edit in some gaps, it's a rather long paragraph...

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I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:32 pm

Yup that Dol Guldur scene is painfully bad.

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Post by malickfan Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:34 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Yup that Dol Guldur scene is painfully bad.

My biggest problem was the winking at the audience feel of it 'Hey, remember these guys and that music from the other films? You know LOTR, that film featuring THE RING...'

Your purist edit is going to be very short...

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Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it  Suspect


I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Post by azriel Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:41 pm

So, now we have Penn & Teller helping out teaching levitation skills ? Gandalf never moreso looked like a ventriloquists dummy than he did just then. Oh, & heroic Elrond *swoon* ! something stirred in me & it might have been flatulence. The wraiths ? the "Simpsons" have had scarier costumes for Halloween & thats a cartoon show ! I did NOT believe for one nano second they could even have belonged in ME ! They were rejects from a console game werent they ? Im staggered at the bilge that keeps popping up, like a dead body out at sea. Its just confirmation that Id rather chew syringe needles than pay to see this. Mad

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:43 pm

the fuckers have banned me again. Very Happy thats x 4 Basketball
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:46 pm

Your purist edit is going to be very short...- Malick

Yes based on evidence so far even out of the existing edit I will be losing the flashback scene at the party- no need to set  up the windlance thing at all it seems, no need for the WC stuff or Gandalf going to Dol Guldur if thats how it plays out, so no need to introduce Radagast either-and thats before I even start on the last film.


the fuckers have banned me again.- Figg

Ferny or something was it?

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Post by malickfan Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:46 pm

Mrs Figg wrote:the fuckers have banned me again. Very Happy  thats  x 4  Basketball

Suspect pub slap laugh :hug: Shocked

What was you most recent username? I'm be curious as to see why...

Other than you and Sin I don't know anyone else who has been banned...

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The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
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The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)

Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it  Suspect


I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:48 pm

I got banned- but I then I used the power of crabbit and they reinstated me Nod

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Post by Mrs Figg Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:58 pm

FernysApple. but I didnt DO anything. Rolling Eyes rabbit
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