The Daily Purist

The DP would like me to state that "We never report wrongly, but sometimes reality is at fault."

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Circulation falling off?
The DP editor is currently under his desk and refusing to come out for fear "Bear Muirdock will come and eat me"as if a troll of Bear Muirdocks standard would ever do that, of course not, he'd send round some lackeys to do it.

I certainly hope no Ozhobbit Corporate Executives put a stop to the DP's continued hilarity and -- er ... it pains me to say this, but ... *cough* excellence -- it wouldn't be Forumshire without 'em!

I am sure the DP will be overjoyed to have your support Eldo you know how much they like you.
I too hope they continue as Tin, wonderful monarch as she is of course, has been a bit slow and reluctant in the return of all my buckie from Valinor (and what I did get back she's used some damned elvish magic on to make it rasberry flavoured!) which means I am rather reliant at the moment on Pure Publications fo rmy buckie supply. No deliveries, no bucke!
It's their journalistic integrity thats the problem (or what passes for it) they can't compute how a scandal filled issue could result in their worst circulation (measured in outraged posts following an issue) ever. Scandal=sales you see, its the basic tenant on which Pure Publications is founded.
Although I was round there earlier and they seem to have progressed from self recrimination to blaming Mrs Figgs for not being a big enough celebrity- which might be a worry for you Eldo as you are a favourite high profile candidate.

I see that my sordid past has at last finally caught up with me, the Eel Tapping Scandal made public, in my defence I can only say my eel squeezing days are numbered, being reduced to leaving a resume of my skills in phone boxes on Hampstead heath. I tried the blue ones but they seemed to be occupied by some chump called the Doctor, anyways..

Well look on the bright side Mrs Figgs there is no surer way of knowing you are a part of the Community at Forumhire than having Pure Publications turn their attention on you. Its a backhanded compliment, a big painful trolls hand hitting quite hard and stinging for hours afterwards, but a compliment none the less.

Alright, alright, FINE! I'll givvve you all ur BUCKIE back! I've it being thanksgivin and all, I s'pose I should. WH"OO!

Your beneficence is always so beneficial (to drunken Scotshobbits), your Majesty!

Bless yi yer Maj! There's not a finer monarch from here to Valinor! Your Grace is beyond words, even drunken slurred words.
Ooo buckie! My lovely, beautiful barrels of buckie!

{{{{{Good call, your Maj! Offer the Scotshobbits buckie and circuses and they're sure never to rebel! }}}}}

{{{And nor should they, Lord Eldo. I would never countenance that kind of thing. }}}

{{{It's always reassuring to have the agreeance and, ah, support of the Banks Clan behind me, Orwell. }}}

First rasberry flavour, now (sniff, sniff) peppermint. What weird things does her Maj do to buckie over the Sea? Royals!

.....

{{{

Eldorion wrote:
{{{It's always reassuring to have the agreeance and, ah, support of the Banks Clan behind me, Orwell. }}}

I would not count me as one of the Banks Clan, Eldo. That's plainly ridiculous! }}}

Er, yes, of course. What could I have been thinking?

Never mind, Eldo. As usual, I'm sure you were not thinking at all.

I'm going to need to bring Huan over from Valinor! Why is ther so much Peppermint in my Buckie? Unless Petty is just complaining, but is it really THAT close to Christmas????

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I'm starting to feel more my old self, miserable. Its all a bit of a haze though, so not sure what happened -can't really remember anythig after the shampoo- damn elves magic! (Her Maj excepted of course) Hope I didn't do or say anything unbecoming of me!

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I'm already excited for election fever, but it's good to know the Forumshire Awards are on track too! Will additional nominations be open for members of the Forumshire public to make?

From what I know so far, and as host I'm usually last to know, is that some of the categories from last year will return so people can fight to retain their crown alongside a few new categories, including categories voted for by the Forumshire public- so get your thinking cap on for suitable categories to go alongside last years (which can be found for reference in the Old Forum section)

Best Queen, Best Hair, Best Nose, Best Dancer, Best Singer, Best Magician... to name a few