Holidays and absences [2]

Look shopping is simple- you go in, you buy a huge long tray of square sausage, a pan loaf, a haggis, bottle of Irn Bru, all the buckie you can afford/shoplift, get your fags on the way out and home to your barrel.

Theres no need for fannying about woman!   

Yes but, you need a nice tablecloth on the table, flowers in a vase, a candle (fraranced in some cases ?) A nice picture on the wall, cushions to relax on...........................................

Table?    I have three cats, the average life expectancy of a vase of flowers is about 2 seconds. I have candles, and they are scented. They cant help but be they are made from the concealed dregs you get from the bottom of buckie barrels if you leave it lying in a corner for an entire winter. I have a picture of Queen Tinuviel on my wall, to show you my Loyalty to Her Maj and in particular her buckie cellar, of which I have a much bigger picture. I dont need cushions, I have cats.  

Everytime someone tries to "pretty up" your life, you find a bloody excuse ! 
 

Naturally, didn't you know excuses come by the barrel?   

I think men do like shopping. But only if its mens stuff like anything on sale in MediaWorld or the Apple Store. Men go as crazy for new tech as women do for shoes.

Tech shopping- do my research first online and either order it, or if I have to go get it I go get it, that one thing I've already decided to go get, then I get it and I go home. Whats so hard about that? Women! You waste so much drinking time!  

I like having... I dont like getting. If I can order online then I will.

The only time I browse shops is when I am on holiday and rarely with the intention of actually buying anything.

wheres the pleasure in just going and getting? you need to savour the moment, feel the stuff, poke it, admire its texture and colour, make sure its not poisonous, go goo goo over how nice and shiny it is, feel the weight of it in your sweaty palms. Shopping is an art. Women like sifting and rootling about, getting a bargain or finding treasure. Its innate, its helped us survive over thousands of years. Some prehistoric woman was probably the first human to make jewelry out of nice shells and feathers she found while gathering food.

Some prehistoric woman was probably the first human to make jewelry out of nice shells and feathers she found while gathering food.- Mrs Figg

Yes, went somethinglike this.

cavewoman- Oh pretty things. I could do somethng with those.

8 hours later

CAVE

Caveman- where the hell have you been? And where are the fruits of the fields you went to collect?

Cavewoman- I made these instead, look ear decorations make from shells and feathers.

Caveman- Can you eat them? Do they protect you from sabre-tooth tigers? Will they stop a mammoth from trampling you? Do they make fire?

Cavewoman- No, they make your ears look prettier.

Caveman- Oh for Grunts Sake (HITS HER OVER HEAD WITH CLUB)

And with lightning reflexes, learnt in the field whilst collecting said feathers etc, Cave woman kicks caveman in the nadgers & settles down to watch David Attenborough's "life on Earth" on why Neanderthals died out  

 

I do like to see/test some things. Not many though. Couldn't think of much worse than walking round a shopping center looking for a 'gem'

Not that I've been particularly active lately, but I'm going camping with my dad this weekend for Father's Day, so I will be Internet-less from now until Sunday afternoon. If something comes up, ask one of the other mods.

ask one of the other mods- Eldo

   

Eldorion wrote:Not that I've been particularly active lately, but I'm going camping with my dad this weekend for Father's Day, so I will be Internet-less from now until Sunday afternoon.  If something comes up, ask one of the other mods.

Time to raise some hell.   

Have a nice trip, Eldo!

Sorry, Petty.

Thanks, Ringo.

bungo:

bye sweety  send love to the bugs from me

Have fun!!

Yes, enjoy your trip Eldo.   Or as you probably won't see this before you get back, have enjoyed it.

I'm leaving this Tuesday for a three-week trip to the mid-West. It's mostly just a work trip, as I'll be helping out my parents with various projects back there, but I'll still do some fun things too.
I still haven't decided whether I'll bring my laptop along, so if I don't that'll be the reason I'm absent!

Have a great time & stay safe !    

Enjoy yourself Forest (inbetween the work bits) and remember dont drink buckie and drive. Take the bus and get pissed the entire way    

Forest Shepherd wrote:I'm leaving this Tuesday for a three-week trip to the mid-West. It's mostly just a work trip, as I'll be helping out my parents with various projects back there, but I'll still do some fun things too.
I still haven't decided whether I'll bring my laptop along, so if I don't that'll be the reason I'm absent!

Well come on over, neighbor! It's nice here in fly-over-land!