what sort of jokes can I get away with?

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Post by azriel Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:41 pm

Laughing Laughing

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Post by Mrs Figg Sat Apr 13, 2013 4:00 pm

Laughing
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Post by azriel Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:57 am

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

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Post by chris63 Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:31 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 30 149428_469280133144598_1186140460_n

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Post by chris63 Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:34 pm

Sheep joke what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 30 Laughing-dog-smiley-emoticon

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Post by chris63 Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:58 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 30 58079_4569416687287_585289958_n

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Post by Norc Sun Apr 14, 2013 3:44 pm

chris63 wrote:what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 30 149428_469280133144598_1186140460_n

read that in a scottish accent (because of "fooking")
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Post by David H Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:35 pm

Ahhh, mushrooms! Very Happy

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Post by Mrs Figg Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:44 pm

lol! to all of it.
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Post by azriel Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:43 pm

lol!

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:43 pm

Shocked Laughing

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Post by Norc Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:08 pm

i think we've successfully scared every under-age hobbit lover away from this forum.
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Post by Eldorion Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:48 pm

I would certainly hope that any lovers of underage hobbits stay far away from this forum. Shocked
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Post by CC12 35 Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:55 pm

bt a lot of us R undR 33

#referencingtolkienmaster

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Post by Eldorion Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:59 pm

Touche.
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Post by Norc Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:41 pm

oh god. the typical typo error. fuck. i meant hobbit-lover.. for fuck sake.
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Post by Norc Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:42 pm

hælvette. that came out wrong to..
what i meant was:
WE SUCCESSFULLY SCARED ALL THE KIDS AWAY!
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Post by Eldorion Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:44 pm

What are you really trying to tell us, Norc? Suspect
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Post by CC12 35 Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:54 pm

for the record i'm not included in nora's plural we

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Post by Norc Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:50 pm

Eldorion wrote:What are you really trying to tell us, Norc? Suspect

that there are too many doubtful veggies and plants here.
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Post by azriel Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:06 pm

what sort of jokes can I get away with? - Page 30 Carrot1_zpsa361f514

what ? like this ? surely not ! Smile
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Post by Mrs Figg Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:11 pm

Norc wrote:i think we've successfully scared every under-age hobbit lover away from this forum.

yikes! Shocked freudian slip or what?
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Post by halfwise Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:29 am

Embarassed

At least I try to keep my little fetishes under wraps.

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Post by Norc Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:10 am

oh, you actually try!?
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Post by chris63 Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:52 am

lol

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