what sort of jokes can I get away with?
+10
Mrs Figg
chris63
Orwell
Amarië
Pettytyrant101
halfwise
Ally
Eldorion
Norc
azriel
14 posters
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed.
The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed.
The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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chris63- Adventurer
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chris63- Adventurer
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chris63- Adventurer
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
chris63 wrote:
read that in a scottish accent (because of "fooking")
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Ahhh, mushrooms!
David H- Horsemaster, Fighting Bears in the Pacific Northwest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
to all of it.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15702
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 64
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
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A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
i think we've successfully scared every under-age hobbit lover away from this forum.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
I would certainly hope that any lovers of underage hobbits stay far away from this forum.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
bt a lot of us R undR 33
#referencingtolkienmaster
#referencingtolkienmaster
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it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
oh god. the typical typo error. fuck. i meant hobbit-lover.. for fuck sake.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
hælvette. that came out wrong to..
what i meant was:
WE SUCCESSFULLY SCARED ALL THE KIDS AWAY!
what i meant was:
WE SUCCESSFULLY SCARED ALL THE KIDS AWAY!
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
for the record i'm not included in nora's plural we
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it's not that serious Caroline
CC12 35- Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Eldorion wrote:What are you really trying to tell us, Norc?
that there are too many doubtful veggies and plants here.
Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
what ? like this ? surely not !
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
Norc wrote:i think we've successfully scared every under-age hobbit lover away from this forum.
yikes! freudian slip or what?
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
At least I try to keep my little fetishes under wraps.
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Then it gets complicated...
halfwise- Quintessence of Burrahobbitry
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chris63- Adventurer
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