what sort of jokes can I get away with?

when american kids doesn't know what a kinder egg looks like it makes the best of jokes

yuk ! but ......

Y r there no whimsical jokeeees hereeeeee

An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts…
so the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts..

Driver: Why don’t you eat them yourself?
Old lady: I can’t chew. Look, I have no teeth..
Driver: Then why do you buy them?
Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolates around them!

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches, & went to the bathroom.

The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off.

When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her...

When he finished & was still panting, the wife said: You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you? And then she switched on the light...

"No madam", said the gateman

but nexus 7

love that gif Norc

Akpors and his wife had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father akpors rushed to the nursery
to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

'No, not this time!'

housing project cheese(cake)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'
'In bed this early, doing what?'
'Getting a second opinion!'

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 A M.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'

in tryin 2 move on its complicated but ooooooiiiih have a little patience

Chris thats brill

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes.
Lady: How many packs?
Man: 3 packs daily.
Lady: How much is per pack for your brand?
Man: $ 8 a pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: Almost 18 years.
Lady: So one pack costs $ 8 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $ 720. In one year, it would be $ 8640. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $ 8640, you collectively spent $ 155,520. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 18 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Man: Where's your f**king Ferrari then?

beauty is in the eye of the