Dark Planet Day Challenge: Forumshire fanfic

CATSAT??? this pussy abuse has to stop

My pussy ginger Meggs has gas but only when the tuna is off, she farts, poor thing, and a farting pussy is a sad thing indeed.

You will be glad to know Pure Publications no longer use CatSat, although you will probably be less happy to know that was only becasue of an unfortunate incident during helium reinflation involving a naked flame.
And any farting pussies near me are going right out the room- won't have it, terrible fishy smell lingering about for hours.

Look on the brght side Mrs Figg, in his last moments he had never been higher.

The Daily Purist, whatever happened to that esteemed paper? did it get caught up in palantirazzi tapping scandals and close down? was there a red haired minx involved? did the editor try some furious back peddaling? did the forumshire constabulary throw the lot of them in lockholes? who knows.

It still comes out Mrs Figg- officially the Daily Purist is the Monday to Friday edition, but I only deliver the odd one now and again. The NotP is the Sunday sister paper, and special edition paper. And it just so happens with a spate of birthdays recently most of the editions I've delivered lately have been NotP. But have no fear the Daily Purist will return.
And Mr Muirdock has assured the authorities that the palantir hacking was down to one drunk journalist acting alone. Besides he seems to have come to some sort of arrangement with Eldo and the Sherriffs office. I have no doubt its all above board.

Mrs Figg wrote:did he go to Thailand again, is that a ladyboy in the water with him?

Pettytyrant101 wrote:the pictures of Eldo and Odo (I believe the ladyboy you refer to is in fact Eldo!)

I think its the hair.

Yeah, of the three avatars I used to have showing that character, the one I used the most (which is the one that showed up in NotP) definitely had the shaggiest hair.

Eldorion wrote:

Amarië wrote:(But Tazzy's complete lack of imagination?! You are so wrong, so wrong... if he only would finish his pet project 'Two Trees'. Siiiiigh....)

If only he hadn't gotten distracted devouring other forumlands he might have had more time to work on it. But then we wouldn't have gotten you, or leelee, or any of the Bree-landers. I'm reminded of the Gaffer in the Scouring of the Shire: all's well that ends better. 'Course, that puts Taz in the role of Saruman, but oh well.

{{{All in good fun! }}}

Oh, devouring forumlands takes hardly any time at all now. Assimilation goes by without a hitch now that you lot have shown us the cracks and glitches! Think it is that pesky Real Life thing that has infected him. I self-medicate by coming here.

Eldorion wrote:

Amarië wrote:I'd defend Eldo's honor too if I didn't find the starwars stuff far too adorable!! And he is a nice contrast to evil-Taz.

I don't know whether to be or

...

SQUACH!

What did you do to my little girl?

At least it has you gripped Kafria! Next installment will be up fairly soon and her fate revealed.

Warning... if it is splat I will be after you!!!!

I will bear that in mind! {{{Now where did I put that tipex!}}}

Where is the real Squach, anyway? Did she ever come back from her trip to Italy?

Yes, she did! she is away again at the mo, visiting her dad for Easter.

What with turning thirteen (and the dreaded draw of facebook ) and some of the things that have been keeping me busy have been occupying her time. She still peers over my shoulder now and again, but computer time has been limited recently.

(It can't be good when everytime you end up joining an extra curricular group that people assume it is convenient for your mum to staff it - or sometimes she decides she wants to join in and then embarasses you by jumping up and down in excitement when you practice certain music )

Okay - finally a little more from me. It is short, but hoping it starts the flow of words once more.



Taranis watched the delighted child as she danced back and forth across the Howe sides, an answering chuckle escaping his lips as he soaked up the simple joy that a new discovery could bring. His eyes tracked her broken passage as she dipped in and out of the veil, his lips tugged up in a broad grin. He waited as she disappeared into the ring once more, watching the spot he expected her reappearance. When she failed to materialise he started towards the ring to finish his meal, faltering as he saw Rue on the far side of the Howe.


“I was right!” she exclaimed, before disappearing once more.

His eyebrows shot up as the implications of her words struck him and the grin stretched wider still, she was testing the limits of the illusion. He strode quickly forward, eager to discover what she had deduced. Rue continued to materialise intermittently as she completed a full circuit of the Howe and meeting him as he crossed the threshold once more. She turned to face him, eyes alight and wide with wonder.

“It only shields the Howe; I can still see things on the other side,” she stated.

“That’s right, a veil only affects that inside its boundaries,” he answered, leading the way back into the hollow and returning to Freya, “So what’s the plan now?” he asked her, grin fading as he considered her.

Freya returned his gaze, eyes searching. She pushed up from the grass and examined him carefully.

“Okay, you know about us. You want to know what’s next; I need to know a little more about you,” she challenged.

He hesitated a minute before nodding, “Novantae.”

Freya drew back in surprise, “Merrow line? Rue hand me the skin,” she instructed, eyes never leaving Taranis’ as she held out her hand.

He remained steady, despite the liberty the woman was about to take. Not many would dare ask for permission, let alone simply carry out the test. As she uncorked the skin he lifted his hand to meet her, turning it palm up and laying it into hers. He watched as her eyes fell to the trickle of water she poured, the tension in her shoulders as she started back and the frown that showed her disbelief at the evidence of her eyes, before he found himself caught in her searching gaze.

“Which?”

“Pa.”

“I thought that was myth, or long since gone.” Freya absently ran her fingers across the soft hair the water had revealed. Taranis closed his fingers against the itch, pulling his hand back and allowing it to fall to his side. There was nothing to be done, she would either trust him or not. A brisk nod of her head indicated a decision made.

“Right, we need to leave. Rue, dishes and fire please,” Freya instructed over her shoulder at her transfixed child. “You can help me sort the cart out. We’ll talk once we’re safely away,” she finished, turning to face him once more.

He nodded, following her towards the pony gently cropping grass nearby. Between the three of them they made short work of breaking camp and were soon crossing the boundary of the Howe ready to begin a new day’s travel.

“What about the veil? Does it just stay there?” Rue asked, turning back to the hollow, face scrunching as she tried to see any evidence of the illusion now she was once again outside.

“No, haven only lasts until you leave its shelter,” Freya explained.

Rue’s face creased further as she considered this, “but I’ve been wandering in and out all morning, it didn’t disappear then,” she argued.

Freya laughed at her disgruntled daughter, earning herself a huff of annoyance which provoked a burst of giggles to break the peace of the clearing. She took a deep breath to calm herself as Rue fixed her with a glare, determined to have an explanation.

“Yes you have, haven is centred on the person who invokes it, me. It’s the first time I’ve left the Howe. So, no more veil.” Freya shrugged her shoulders, passing the lead rein of the pony to Taranis as she walked back up the bank and into the Howe. “See.”

“Okay,” Rue replied, a slight pout remaining on her face. She turned and set off towards the greenway, pausing as she reached it to look both ways down the track. “Ermm, which way?”

“Across the plain,” Freya instructed, putting an arm around her daughters shoulders and leading the way. Looking over Rues head she met Taranis’ questioning gaze. “Supplies,” was the only explanation he received.



(Sorry Petty, I know Taranis is far too cheerful and the Merrow idea... well it wouldn't leave me alone once it popped into my head!)

When its this intriguing and atmospheric to read Kafria I dont mind what you do! More please! Even going back and reading the previous bit then this again hasn't sated the appetite for it.

Ally wandered casually across the foyer of the Dark Planet and approached Brad at his desk. She was wearing her shades indoors but somehow pulled it off. She leant on the desk, chewing nonchalantly on a piece of gum and with her index finger tapped the bridge of her sunglasses so they moved down her nose enough for her to look over the top of them at Brad.
“Hi,” she said so casually Brad took a sharp intake of breath, “Can I help you Miss?” he inquired, “Are you a member?”
“Who me?” Ally said pointing at herself, even though apart from her and Brad they were alone, “Not yet.”
“Ah. Then if you would just stand there one moment please,” Brad smiled at her and pressed the panel on his desk. The eyes in Taz's painting glowed and the light scanned Ally and remained passive.
“That's just wonderful,” Bard grinned, “you get the all clear. We can't be to careful. Some of the folks we have had in here lately,” he stopped and drew a long whistling breath inwards, “shocking! The trouble they have cost us. Just shocking!” He shook his head disapprovingly.
The main entrance door to the Dark Planet swished noisily open. Ally walked towards it, “nice doors,” she remarked and examined where the door had slid into the wall. She chewed on her gum thoughtfully, “So what were you saying about trouble?” she called back to Brad.
“Oh nothing to worry about. Just the most awful, unpleasant bunch of people you could hope to ever meet.”
“Were they indeed?” Ally said and having found just the right spot she squished her chewing gum into the door gap and then stuck into a small tube of black powder, acquired from Kafria's workshop, and a length of fuse, “I don't suppose there was a Scotshobbit in a kilt among them, and a prudish guy with a head shaped like a phallic symbol?”
“Why yes!” Brad said from behind the desk, “How did you know? If I never see that drunken, uncouth, unpleasant, degenerate, vile Scotshobbit again it will be a day to soon.”
Ally smiled and took a box of matches from her pocket.
“Hey!” Brad said suspiciously coming out from behind his desk, “What are you doing?”
Ally ignored him and took a match from the box. Brad saw the fuse sticking from the wall and realised in a flash what she was going to do.
He was to far from the alarm control on his desk but with a lunge Brad hurtled himself through the air and right into Ally. She had not been expecting him to react so vigorously and she was knocked sideways and down. But she hit the floor with style and a roll. But the matches flew from her hand and her sunglasses rattled from her face onto the floor. She reached for the matches but Brads hand got there before her and he triumphantly snatched them aside.
Ally reached for her sunglasses instead, making it look like one swift movement, had a casual observer been there as witness they would have sworn that the sunglasses had been what she was aiming for all along so coolly did she perform the movement. She flicked the shades back on and stood, making sure she got up next to where the fuse was placed.
“If I was you I would be running already,” she volunteered.
Brad waved the matchbox at her triumphantly,”You don't have any matches.” He grinned.
Ally remained silent just long enough to be fashionable about it then she held up her right hand and clicked her fingers, a small steady yellow flame appeared, seemingly out of the top of her extended thumb.
“What?” Brad started, his face going ashen, “that's impossible. How are you doing that?”
And now it was Ally's turn to grin, but her grin was relaxed, “Power of Cool,” she said simply and put the flame, which was actually from the match she had kept hold of and concealed behind her thumb, to the fuse and ran for the cover of the desk.

Kafria circled. Squach was a small dot, spinning far below, screaming against the wind. Kafria could never afterwards put into words how she felt at this moment. A piece of her was reliving it as it had happened to her long ago, experiencing again the feeling as she had plummeted through the air just as her own daughter was at this very moment.
Another part of her was here and now. That part was horrified, that parts stomach was knotted and pained, that part was on the point of crisis, that part could not cope with what it had just done. Would have turned away, was not able to bear witness to it, if it could have turned away that was.
But the last part of her, that was Dragon, and it was ancient and knowledgeable and knew what must be done must be done. And the Dragon was instinctive and ruthless.
There was a distorting of air below her and despite herself Kafria flew upwards , arched her back and looped the loop letting out a torrent of flame that lit up the sky and made the buildings below glow red in the glare- Squach, her daughter, was flying back up towards her at a rate of knots.
Squach was less than half the size of Kafria in dragon form and she was a emerald green, her neck fringe was tinged the same red and orange as her mothers and there was no mistaking those eyes.
Squach, wings hammering, finally got up to her mothers level.
“You tried to kill me!” she roared angrily and a small spurt of yellow flame erupted from her mouth. Her eyes bulged and she coughed, “Uurgh, that tastes bloody horrible,” she grimaced showing a lot of very white pointy teeth.
“You get used to it, it will happen when you are angry,” Kafria managed to say, trying to hold the relief, the sheer joy back from her voice and the excuse to admonish Squach helped restore her equilibrium “and don't swear.”
“Don't swear?!” Squach said indignantly and another spurt of flame belched out, she winced again at the after-taste, “I'll bloody well swear if I like after you just tried to kill me.”
“There is no other way to know if you can fly,” Kafria tried to explain,”And if you have children one day it will be your turn to know it.”
“It will not!” Squach insisted with all the certainly of youth, “I'd never do that to my own daughter. I still can't believe you just did it to me. Are you out of your mind?”
“That's what I said to my mother,” Kafria laughed, “And I was wrong. And so are you.”
“But you knew I would survive?” Squach asked, flapping her wings a few strokes to maintain altitude with her mother, “Didn't you?”
Well there was no point hiding the truth from her, not now they had come this far, “No,” Kafria replied slowly, “I didn't. Not everyone does. Do you remember your cousin Adam?”
“The one that died in the cart accident?” Squach said, her scaled forehead wrinkling in recollection.
“Yes, well that's what I told you then,” Kafria replied.
There was a moment silence before the penny dropped and Squach said in a horrified voice, “You mean Aunt Sue dropped him? Why didn't you tell me?”
“You would not have understood.”
“You let her babysit me!” Squach said in a horrified voice, “And never mind not understand then. I don't bloody well understand now,” Squach grumbled but it was not true. But nor was it a lie as she had only realised the falsity of it even as she said it.
She had been to shocked as she fell, to horrified, then exuberant, made so by the change and exhilaration of flying, then too angry at her mother to think about it. Until now, now she was. Now she could imagine this happening to her own mother, and her mother living all those years knowing she would have to do the same to Squach, now she understood her mothers strange mood of late and especially today. She never had been afraid for herself, but for Squach alone.
And then as if it were laid out in her mind before her Squach saw her own future, stretching out with each day lived in the knowledge that this day would come around again, but for her and her child next time. Squach's heart went cold. But the new part, the dragon part comforted her, in its ancient bones was the message 'this is how it must be, how it always was and it is right. I will grant you the strength to bear it.'
She felt closer to her mother than ever before and in that moment there was a new found respect for her she had not known before, a respect that childhood blinkers did not previously allow her the sight to see. And with that thought she realised that with this change she was no longer a child.

The explosion rocked the entrance lobby. Masonry rumbled and tumbled, the walls either side of the door gave way and fell outwards in a cloud of masonry dust.
On cue the rest of the Forumshire Gang came running into the room. The Guards alerted by the explosion were now responding. Out of the dust cloud came Petty, he was wearing a T-shirt GB had made him put on, it had a palantir picture of Pretty, Odo and Amarie on its front under the words, “Free the Forumshire Three”. Petty had amended his so that on the back it now read, “But you can keep Pretty if you like”.
Petty bellowed, half a fearsome sound, a herald to battle and half made in the joy of imminent battle.
Brad staggered out of the thick air, his neat coiffured hair was thick with grey dust, his face chalk white and his jacket was on fire. Petty charged right into him and Brad fell with a squeal to the floor. “Laugh this off,” Petty said and kicked him.
GB emerged behind Petty, “There are Rules of Engagement,” he said, Petty kicked some more and Brad squealed, “Prisoner Rights,” GB went on but Petty ignored him in favour of kicking Brad some more, “I mean,” GB continued unabashed, “It is a bit unsporting to kick a man when he is down, don't you think?” he asked with a disapproving air, “and especially when he is on fire,” he added.
“Best time I would I have thought,” Petty responded and spun away with a twirl of the kilt joyfully into the gloom to find some guards to beat up. The sounds of extreme violence ensuing quickly followed.
“Has anyone seen Ally?” Mirabella asked concerned as she entered the lobby. With a casualness that belied her slim figure she suddenly struck out a guard who was sneaking up in the dust cloud, there was a crunching sound and a moan as the man fell to the floor clutching something important that was now hurting a lot. “Don't screw with the Forumshire Sheriffs Department,” she said looking down at the man. She took in the carnage of the lobby, or what could be seen of it in the gloom. Most of the Dark Planet Entrance wall was still invisible behind a white fog of dust. “That was a hell of a bang Ally made,” she muttered half to herself, hoping Forumshire's coolest resident was too cool to be blown to bits in her own explosion.
“She's here,” called Eldo, who had made his way over to Brad's desk. Ally was leaning against it as if she was waiting for them in a trendy bar and was only slightly annoyed they were late.
Mirabella and GB joined them. Eldo was pouring over the palantir screen, flicking his hands with eye watering speed over the controls. His eyes shone.
Just then a guard came running towards them out of the settling dust and made a grab for Mirabella but before he could lay a hand on her Eldo raised one hand of his own, muttered some words of Lore under his breath and with a pop the guard vanished.
Mirabella took in a shocked gasp of air, “What did you do to him?”
“I banned him,” Eldo said with a shrug,”I have access now to all the low level security measures. About all I can access from here.”
Petty came out of the dust, “Sorry about that last one, must have snuck by me,” he apologised, “I think that's all the ones in here dealt with.”
“They will send more,” Eldo warned.
“Oh I do hope so,” Petty replied with a wide grin.
GB leant over Eldo's shoulder and tried to read the screen, “Can you find out where Pretty and Odo are on this?” he asked, “And if Kafria and Squach are here.”
“I think so,” Eldo replied and begun flicking through the security systems- he whistled.
“What?” GB asked.
“Where are they?” Mirabella added.
“According to this they are in Taz's Admin Tower, his Tower of Lore, in prison. They also seem to have blown up another tower and some important machine or other, there are numerous casualties listed among the guards, and they have also it seems picked someone else up. Orwell the record says, whoever he is he was arrested with them and is in prison with them.”
“Exploding towers. Lots of causalities. Prisons. Sounds like Pretty all right. Have they also had a virulent breakout in sexually transmitted disease? That's her main marker,” Petty said dryly with a shake of his head.
“There are no reports on Kafria, although she is logged in. And so is Squach,” Eldo said then frowned.
“What is it?” Petty asked seeing the look.
“I'm not sure really, there are all sorts of weird garbled comms about a Queen playing golf and dragons?” He arched an eyebrow.
“Only one Queen I know plays golf,” Petty commented, “And I don't know any dragons.”
“No,” Eldo agreed but thoughtfully, “but we do know someone with a, startlingly alive looking, dragon tattoo.”
“That is so cool,” Ally said, immediately meaning therefore that it was.
“Well we won't get answers talking in here,” Petty said, “Lets get inside. There's heads to be split.”
They went towards the doors, now the dust was finally clearing they could see that all that remained of them was some molten metal cooling at the edges. The wall, most of he ceiling and a sizeable part of the top surface were gone leaving a shallow crater through which they had to walk. As they did so Petty turned to Ally, “You know, “ he said, “you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.”

I hope the Tower's totally destroyed, with everyone in it.

This keeps getting better Petty. And you couldn't resist at the end could you

Two great entries! Damn, Ally's cool! And dragons are cold!

Kafria, I find myself smiling when I read about Rue. Your writing is so alive!
I haven't the foggiest idea what the celtic(?) references are about, but I find it just adds to the mystery.

But! Did we really need to know that Petty has hairy palms? There are limits to how much I want to know about people's personal lives... really... ( )

Gets lonely in a barrell.....