Wedding News

Pretty Tyrant wrote:OOOh Mirry I used to be friendly with a bunch of dwarves at the Lonely Mountain they make all sorts of wonderful fireworks-the best there is with such wonderful descriptive names- like Golden Showers, and Pearl Necklaces and Flap Clappers- they are fabulous you'd sooo love them!

Ooooh that sounds lovely... but.... umm.. about these dwarves.... Sorry, my love, but I guess it's something I always wanted to ask you about.... Ummm... what was your association with these dwarf friends of yours... The names "Borin Oakenbollocks" and "Snorkle Wafflemuncher" were often brought up in association with you. Yes, "gossip" often came up about you and them when I was down the Muck and Duck on Fridays after work, back when I was a single Shiriff-lass... If you don't want to talk about it, of course, you don't have to... being clearly in the past and... all... and not something I'd expect you having to talk to me about...

Pearl necklaces are so passé. So 1987. Only the Queen wears them now, and I dont know how, unless the Butler did it.

hey wheredyougo?

Ooh Mirry, always wanting to know about my past- it was nothing- I was there covering a story for Pure Publications on make-up techniques for lady dwarves beards and I met some lovely, but lonely dwarve lads. We exchaned buckie recipes and kept each other company on dark nights- which underground is all of them. But nothing keeps you warm underground like several dwarves piled round. They were deep-delvers, and the rest were miners.

Mrs Figg I don't think it would be very safe to wear a dwarven pearl necklace, queen or not- it would surely explode in her face.

Now Mirry- we both know its my vulgur side you enjoy the most..at least behind closed doors it is.

She's always doing that Mrs Figg. Taking things back- retracting she calls it- comes from all the Sherriffing I think.

Oh... "vulgar side' - oh dear, yiu must has been reading my mind, love?

Anyway, it's all a big relief... I was worried there for a moment, Pretty, that something untoward may have happened between you and some dwarves - possible thirteen of them at one stage --- I now see my fears were unfounded...

Of course your fears are unfounded Mirry sweetie- as if someone of my value would be slumming it in a cave with some miners - of course not, it was the Beornings I slept with.

Ooooh..... Pretty.... ooooooh.... Not now.... oh you minx.... ... stop it.... oooooooooh.... Mrs Figg might still be here.... oooooo-asaaaaah.... ... oh stop it... stop it now....

Maybe we should nip back to our hole and I can demomstrate some of the tricks I learnt from them.

The dwarves... No, don't touch me! Were you talking about the dwarves? ... ....

I have a bucket of cold water handy if its needed. Paw had a barrlel full instalkled above the front porch when she was younger for when she brought suitors home and got like this.
here was many a lad went home wet and confused- still better than the ones when the water didnt work, some of them never managed to crawl back home ever.

No silly Mirry! The Beornings- I learnt some interesting techniques- hair today gone tomorrow- saves hours with the tweezers sweetie.

Orwell wrote:{{{Eldo, accordingb to Forumshiran Logic, should I be able to smell peppermint just now?}}}

{{{ Quite a bit of, actually, but I can say no more. }}}

Oh sorry... for a second... ... I believe you... of course....

stop this unseemly shillyshallying and get wed. its setting my teeth on edge. anyone would think we were in Newcastle.

Althought those dwarves sure do pay attention to every detail. And you can fit a lot in a small space.

Mrs Figg I was going to ask your advice about having my hen night in Newcastle I hear its quite the thing.

Eldorion wrote:

Orwell wrote:{{{}}}

{{{}}}

{{{}}}

Pretty Tyrant wrote:Althought those dwarves sure do pay attention to every detail. And you can fit a lot in a small space.

Mrs Figg I was going to ask your advice about having my hen night in Newcastle I hear its quite the thing.

Which makes me wonder, where do you want yours, Mirabella? May I suggest:

I have being doing some research Mrs Figg on Hen Nights in Newcastle and I must say they do look like a lot of fun!





And the dancers look ever so talented.



Oh yes Orwell that looks perfect for Mirry- Oz would be lovely for her I am sure.

Too many Men, though...

Why not have one like Lesbo Proudfoot's Thirty Third instead...

Oh do you remember it, Pretty? I've still got a photo.



That was back when girls thought it fashionable to shave their feet, and didn't that cause a stir in Hobbiton...

Dunno about Pretty but I've still got a stack of palantir pics from that night somewhere about my person. Hurt my shoulder that night too, what with holding Orwell up on them so he could peer through the window and take the pics.

{{{Encryption Spells, Petty - 'Encryption Spells'? Sometimes it seems like you deliberately pretend they don't exist... }}}

What utterly disrespctable behaviour Mr Tyrant! I don't believe for a moment Orwell would stoop as low as that... Would you Orwell?

Perhaps Petty's confusing me for someone else --- what with the buckie and all --- possibly Eldo, I think.... Yes, sounds like something he'd do.. that feisty (and possibly perverted) young whippersnapper... .. the shenanigans of youth...

(Read any of Eldo's Needlehole Mysteries, Odo? Not as innocent as he makes out, what!)

I quickly contacted Lesbo Proudfoot who has sent me this incriminating docto.... authentic photo, Odo. Sure looks like Eldo in my opinion!



You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself, Eldo!





Oh yes... Lesbo also sent me this:



Mrs Figg. I do wish you'd keep Ginger Meggs in at night...