Tales of Home [1]

Eldorion wrote:Thank you, guys. We all knew this was coming, especially after she was in hospice care but in a way anyone who's seen her in the last year or two could probably have told that she was fading. It's sad but in a way it almost feels like a mercy that the long, drawn-out suffering is over for her. I just hope she's at peace now.

Big hugs for you, Eldo. My deepest condolences to you and your family. As you know, we know the feeling.

I've lost all grandparents. The grandfathers both had the long fade away, which actually made it easier (at least for the grandkids). The grandmother's passing I don't remember so well because both times they were quick, and on the other end of the country so it was really just a visit to a memorial service. But both my parents are very near that age, and I don't like to think about it, can't imagine it.

All my best, Eldo.

so sorry to hear that Eldo, if you need to talk about stuff, we are always here for you.
I dont have anybody left from my grandparents generation, its a strange experience. I never realized they wouldnt be around forever, as when you are young you think they will always be there, i regret not talking to them more, asking them about their lives. I remember at school I had this friend whos great grandma was 102, she said she remembered Queen Victoria and primeminister Gladstone and the Boer war, I used to pump her for information about bustles and the long dresses she used to wear.

Thanks again, everyone. We had the formal viewing today. They lined up my granddad and all five children of my grandparents (plus spouses) on one wall of the room leading up to the casket, and all of the grandchildren against the other wall, and people filed through the room in a U-shape and talked to everyone. (The great-grandkids are all very young and didn't come to the viewing.) We stood there for close to an hour and a half shaking hands and thanking people for coming until the lines of people broke down and we were able to mingle about freely. Most of the people were nice but I met more of my dad's primary school teachers and dentists(!) than I ever expected to.

Anyway, the service and the interment start tomorrow morning so it will be another very long day. That said, it was nice to see a lot of extended family members who I hadn't seen in a while, even if the circumstances were unfortunate. It's all a bit exhausting, though, especially since I couldn't fall asleep last night. I'm just sort of rambling at this point to get my thoughts out; thanks to anyone who reads through this.

Hi Eldo. Hang in there!
I'm afraid grieving is exhausting whether you get any sleep or not.
It's really a good thing though. I hope you get more sleep tonight.

Thanks Dave, I'm going to go bed soon in the hopes of being well-rested for tomorrow. It has been somewhat cathartic though ... I've been a bit stressed this week just thinking about my grandmom and what was going to happen, but having seen everyone and been together as a family was a helpful and positive thing. We haven't had a death in the family since I was nine or ten years old though so I'm still trying to figure this out in some ways.

Like Mrs Figg said, we are all here for you Eldo. I give you my best wishes that you will be able to get through this. Deaths are never easy. Trust me, I know.

That's a lot of hand shaking and small talk. But it is comforting to have people around you. Take the time you need, everybody deals with grief in their own way. There can be a bit of a vacuum after the ceremonies are over and all the people have gone back home, when daily life returns, certain annoying people nag you to write things and the world keeps turning.

If there's a baby, go hug him/her or see if you can get a smile. In my experience, little children and babies are a welcomed distraction and tension breaker and a reminder that life goes on.

[insert comforting response]


(sorry, i am terrible at this only thing i can do in these situations is making bad jokes and yeah..)

keeping busy is a good idea, cuddling pets helps at times. But, if you need to, never be afraid to just conk out & have a good cry, its cleansing & it helps. Then take a deep breath & carry on with the day. This may happen several times before your all cried out, but dont hold it in or back. Best wishes to you & your family.

Alternatively Eldo you can act like a man and bottle it up somewhere deep down where emotions belong and you never have to talk or think about them again.

depending on the strength of person you are, I dont believe bottling ANY kind of emotion is a good idea, it always comes back to bite you on the bum sooner or later.

Nonsense- bury it so deep Eldo when they come to dig your grave they will find it all already in there.
Show no affection, dont give into love-its just chemicals, never cry, supress anything that might even possibly lead to pain and keep yourself busy (or drunk) instead- thats the male Scotshobbit way!

And the female Scotshobbit way is.....?

{{ }}

if you go to a funeral its shit but at least the process is healthier in the long run.

And the female Scotshobbit way is.....? _David

Exactly the opposite (except for the drunk bit, thats the same) and then they channel it into aggession.

They probably smoke enough woodbines to start a forest fire, deep fry EVERY THING in sight, including kilts. Beat all the scotshobbit guys to a Buckie drinking contest, whether theres a contest or not, & go mud wrestling with a mad bad ram, bare chested on the heaths!

This may need translating!



and dont think for a minute age mellows them

I know Mrs Figg ! I know !

I love in the first vid how there he is, tatooed big man trying to look nonplussed and what does she say "and when you are not on the tv and you are away bubbling and crying on your knees*"- complete destruction of all male credibility with added national humilation thrown in. Ouch!

*english translation!

Thanks for translation Petty, she was certainly giving it some welly !, & the "gran" was not unlike me after youve got on my nerves for the umpteenth time !
(I dont mean YOU, I meant anyone)

Even with the translation all I could make out was "...a beeplin' a bopplin' a booly booly bip bip bip.... scoombag...scoombag....scoombag..."

she was certainly giving it some welly- Azriel

By Scots women standards she isnt actually sounding all that angry- more annoyed.

But then Scottish women sound angry to most people when they are just talking about stuff



And most nights end something like this.....

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. Today went well and didn't feel quite so overwhelming. It was sad but it did bring a sense of closure, which I'm grateful for.

Also, I read Petty's translation but I still have no idea what's going on in the first video on this page.