what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

What do you call a dog crossed with a magician..... Labracadabrador

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BREAKING: Origami School to close. More on this story as it unfolds.

I got my photo taken with REM the other day. That's me in the corner.

I was in bed last night, pulling off my boxers, when the wife walked in and shouted at me to leave the dogs alone!

I was going to create a herb garden this weekend but I couldn't find the thyme.

I once slept with a blind girl, she said I had the biggest penis she'd ever laid her hands on...... I said your pulling my leg

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I've gotta remember that one for next time we go camping.

Ringdrotten wrote:[/url]

Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.



Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay? What's your name?"



"It's John, and I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.



"John," she said, "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."



"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."



"Oh, come on now," Elizabeth insisted.



She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ... I was weak. "Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "my wife won't like it."



After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."



"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"



"Still under the cart."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

had to look it up. That had to be embarrassing.

Perfection.

I had a dream I was swimming in a giant ocean of orange soda.



Turned out to be a Fanta sea.

"Black really is slimming on you, you've never looked sexier!" I assured the wife.



"Turn the light back on you idiot!" she replied