Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
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Forumshire :: Middle-earth :: The Hobbit
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Pettytyrant101 wrote:Ive helped her out by reading between the lines-
'This team of writers - Peter, Fran [Walsh] and Philippa [Boyens] - are the most ill-prepared, taciturn, desperate for help team of writers I've ever encountered in ten years in the business. From the very beginning, when we first cast Saoirse as a teenage Elf and then we shoehorned in Leggy romance at the last minute cos the missis said it would be kewl, they said, 'We've no idea what this character's going to be, and all we know is that she is an elf and female because we're waiting to see who we cast, in case it was a man And hopefully that person will help us come up with a character, and maybe a plot for her, oh, and all her words, because we really haven't got a clue, Fran just thought saying 'feminine energy' a lot in the marketing campaign would make us more money,'" she explained to (Not) Total Film magazine.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Seems like we are getting nearer the truth with every draft
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Sinister71 wrote:
THAT is about the only way he was right.... But I found it funny when I posted on TORn how many of thesheeppeople believed there was that much material in the appendices without question. Or at least reading it for themselves to see how little material there really is in the appendices that relates to the Hobbit or ANY of the characters in it. I mean I printed it out and showed them, with facts that there was less than 12 pages of material related and they still argued about it. (we need a sheep emoticon just cause their cute, nothing else )
To be blunt, I don't think alot of them care that much, I was never excited about the appendices material, because for me, it was merely a sideshow to the central story of The Hobbit and rather too vague to get excited about, but for a Tolkien fan site a surprisingly large number of people who post there got very very excited about Jackson 'extending' The Hobbit and filling in the gaps- almost as if it were a crappy kids prequel that had to be fixed, most of said gaps largely exist in one's own imagination, I mean until you see it action how is the one paragraph assault on Dol Guldor thrilling? Having watched Jackson's increasingly overblown King Kong and Lovely Bones I was not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when it came to 'expanding' existing stories...
12 pages...but what about the Hobbit geneologies, and lists of Shire Names? All could be thrilling scenes in the film....
Sarcasm aside, we have discussed this many times before...yet it still seems to be more interesting that the actual films for many of us...
_________________
The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)
Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it
I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
malickfan- Adventurer
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
malickfan wrote:Sinister71 wrote:
THAT is about the only way he was right.... But I found it funny when I posted on TORn how many of thesheeppeople believed there was that much material in the appendices without question. Or at least reading it for themselves to see how little material there really is in the appendices that relates to the Hobbit or ANY of the characters in it. I mean I printed it out and showed them, with facts that there was less than 12 pages of material related and they still argued about it. (we need a sheep emoticon just cause their cute, nothing else )
To be blunt, I don't think alot of them care that much, I was never excited about the appendices material, because for me, it was merely a sideshow to the central story of The Hobbit and rather too vague to get excited about, but for a Tolkien fan site a surprisingly large number of people who post there got very very excited about Jackson 'extending' The Hobbit and filling in the gaps- almost as if it were a crappy kids prequel that had to be fixed, most of said gaps largely exist in one's own imagination, I mean until you see it action how is the one paragraph assault on Dol Guldor thrilling? Having watched Jackson's increasingly overblown King Kong and Lovely Bones I was not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when it came to 'expanding' existing stories...
12 pages...but what about the Hobbit geneologies, and lists of Shire Names? All could be thrilling scenes in the film....
Sarcasm aside, we have discussed this many times before...yet it still seems to be more interesting that the actual films for many of us...
I was excited mainly because of the Azog / Dain conflict in the appendices. Hoping it would be in the film somewhere. Such good writing and action and foreshadowing for LOTR. It gives the audience a reason to get behind Dain as he shows up, or is made King. It also gives us a glimpse into dwarven culture and how tight knit a unit they are and how close the familys are in dwarven society. Dain has always been one of my favorite characters ever since reading his expanded story in Tolkien's works. I found it kind of insulting to the appendices the way Jackson has portrayed him so far in the films. He's that guy that "will not come", and the guy who when asked by his kin said, "this quest is theirs and theirs alone"... Yet in the film he shows up somehow. Obviously after Smaug has left the mountain and after the death of the dragon. Which to me feels Like a vulture picking over a rotting carcass because there is no fight left in the bones of the fallen. Easy pickings, claiming something (or a share of something) that hasn't been earned. Jackson's take on the character is an insult to what Tolkien wrote in those appendices. The brilliant dialog between Dain and Thror was moving and yet powerful and it is all wasted because Jackson wanted to make shit up. Instead we get, "tell my son I love him, tell Thorin I love him, promise me" I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, or get pissed off and throw something at the screen with that, I mean really, what a load of horse shit compared to the dialog in the appendices. The character for me in any context Jackson has shown him in so far is shite. Complete utter SHITE!
And the award for best film goes to... NOT Peter Jackson for the Hobbit
ok calming my blood pressure down... ... I agree the appendices material and discussing it is much better than Jackson's Hobbit films. I mean I would consider a red hot poker in the eye to having to watch the films again and again... Seen AUJ a few times in the theater and learned my lesson and have seen DOS once in the theater at matinee price and once again on the EE blue ray. I have watched the appendices material 4 times so far. I find it much better than the actual films. TBO5A I'll see once at matinee price unless I get a free ticket and then will wait for it on EE next year sometime. Then be done with the Hobbit films, maybe forever (unless my son wants to watch all 6 together on a Saturday /Sunday kind of thing, which will I promise you will only happen once) and then continue to watch my LOTR extended edition bluerays till I can't watch them anymore.
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Sinister71- Stinging Fly
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
malickfan wrote:
Anyone remember that Tinkerbell comment by Lilly?
No, what was it?
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
I seem to remember something about Tinkerbell.
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
bungobaggins wrote:malickfan wrote:
Anyone remember that Tinkerbell comment by Lilly?
No, what was it?
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity-interviews/lost-star-evangeline-lilly-tells-2921654
AFTER she finished on mind-bending telly series Lost, in 2009, Evangeline Lilly thought she had retired from acting.
She and boyfriend Norman Kali had their first child, son Kahekili, in May 2011 and the 34-year-old Canadian beauty was settled into family life until she was offered the part of new elf character Tauriel in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which is released today.
Evangeline – whose son (his name is Hawaiian for “the thunder”) was only three months old when they travelled from Hawaii, where she lives, to New Zealand to start filming – said: “When they called me, I thought I had retired, I thought I was done with acting.
“I was like, ‘I am a mom now, this is my life now and this is what I am going to do’. I was happy and content.
“I don’t know if there is any other role in all of the world that could have got me to go to start working, doing stunts, in another country, for a year.
“But it was a Woodland Elf in The Hobbit and there was just no way I could say no.”
Evangeline joined the crew, which included Martin Freeman as Bilbo, Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf and the returning Orlando Bloom as Legolas.
There is also a strong Scots contingent, including teenager John Bell, who plays Bain, and two of the 13 dwarves – Ken Stott as Balin and Graham McTavish as Dwalin. Former Doctor Who Sylvester McCoy plays wizard Radagast the Brown.
Evangeline said: “I came out to New Zealand and started work when my son was only three months old.”
“So I was in the throes of nursing and trying to recover from my 30 hour labour, and I was focused inwardly.
“I was in that nesting time.”
The shoot has inspired the ex-model, whose breakthrough was as the lead character Kate Austen in JJ Abrams’ Lost, from 2004, to carry on acting.
She said: “The Hobbit was so positive. I had so much fun and all of my experiences surrounding it have been a really different experience for me than it was on Lost.
“For the first time in 10 years, I actually think I like acting.
“This might be fun and I actually might want to do more. If it wasn’t for them pulling me out of bed and saying you are coming and working with us, I might have retired at that point, I may have never done a film again.”
Evangeline took to playing the 600-year-old ruthless and rebellious elf with gusto. She wanted to do the wirework stunts herself but wasn’t allowed and employed a language coach so she could learn Elvish.
But then it was no wonder. Evangeline was a massive fan of The Hobbit, claiming it was her favourite book, even though she didn’t finish reading The Lord of the Rings, putting it down with 50 pages left.
She laughed: “I refused to finish the book, ’cause then it would just live on in my mind forever. And then, later on, my sister ended up reading it and she told me, ‘It’s such a good thing you stopped reading because the end is devastating’.”
She admits that because she was such a big fan of the books she didn’t want to watch the Lord of the Rings movies, which starred former boyfriend Dominic Monaghan, who played hobbit Merry. They met when they both starred in Lost after he’d finished making the epic trilogy.
Trauriel is a commoner, which means she isn't blonde like other elvesTrauriel is a commoner, which means she isn't blonde like other elves
She said: “I refused to see the first one when it came out. I was ‘No way, nobody will do those books justice. Nobody’. I wanted to protect the images that I had in my mind.
“I ended up going because my family went as a Christmas outing and I would have been the only person who wouldn’t have gone.
“I was so amazed that everything I saw was what I had envisioned.
“So once that happened, Peter earned the title of the ambassador of Tolkien’s work for meNot for me. Therefore, when I was asked to play an elf in The Hobbit, I was like, ‘Oh my God’, because the Woodland Elves were my favourite charactersIsn't it a bit of a stretch to call generic nameless background figures characters. I dreamed when I was a little girl of being a woodland elf.”
Fans of the Hobbit will know that Tauriel doesn’t appear. The character was created to be head of the Elven guard by director Peter Jackson and his producing partner and wife Fran Walsh – to flesh out the elves of Mirkwood Forest and to add another female character to the story, which is dominated by males.
While she was in make-up, putting on her red wig to start shooting the film, Evangeline re-read The Hobbit.
She said: “I was shocked at how simple it is Just saying, if it were your favourite book you'd probably have noticed that earlier.... As a kid, it seemed like a really complex, interesting, difficult story to read.
“I went back and I was like oh it’s a kid’s book, a real – forgive me Tolkien, may you rest in peace – kind of boring for adults storyI read it AFTER LOTR and Enjoyed it more....
“And it doesn’t have a lot of twists and turns in the plot and there’s very little character development Would those things be necessary if you were adapting the book? Oh right...they weren't...and it made me realise why Peter had made the decisions he madeto make more money and 'finish Tolkien's rewrite'..., about characters and expanding storylines and basically complicating the story.
“It would have never survived in the adult film world if it was left the way it was in the book.”
Evangeline based her new character a little bit on Tinker Bell – the fairy from Peter Pan. She said: “When I think about Tinker Bell, she is this delicate, beautiful, sensual, little nymphette but she’s also powerful and scary and you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of Tink.
“She’s a strong little feisty thing.
“I am a huge fan of the Lady Cottington’s book of Pressed Fairies and those are nasty little things. That book is a bit naughty.”
The actress sees Tauriel as representing the Woodland Elves, who JRR Tolkien talks about in the 1937 The Hobbit book but doesn’t highlight one character. You would think with a completely new character, the actress would have free rein rather than the famous characters of the book such as Bilbo or Gandalf.
She said: “I think that I had the tightest leash out of anybody with them, because they knew exactly what they were after and I completely relied on them.
“Because I couldn’t go to the book and take my own interpretation, I had to listen to what their interpretation wasThat can't have been fun....
“But it also gave me incredible freedom because you don’t have in your mind how Tauriel should look, or act, sound or behave.”
Tauriel is very different to the Lord of the Rings elves. She’s a commoner, which means she’s shorter and doesn’t have the blonde hair and blue eyes but red locks and green eyes.
While Legolas and the other elves in the Lord of the Rings helped men to defeat Sauron and his army, Tauriel and the Woodland Elves in the new film are out for themselves and defending their realm against orcs from the Dol Guldur area.
She said: “I do a lot of killing, Tauriel kills a lot and it was great fun slaughtering orcs.”
_________________
The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)
Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it
I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
malickfan- Adventurer
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Compare and contrast-
“I think that I had the tightest leash out of anybody with them, because they knew exactly what they were after and I completely relied on them."
"From the very beginning, they said, 'We've scratched out what this character's going to be, but we actually haven't made anything solid... Hopefully that person will help us build the character."
“I think that I had the tightest leash out of anybody with them, because they knew exactly what they were after and I completely relied on them."
"From the very beginning, they said, 'We've scratched out what this character's going to be, but we actually haven't made anything solid... Hopefully that person will help us build the character."
_________________
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A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
malickfan wrote:bungobaggins wrote:malickfan wrote:
Anyone remember that Tinkerbell comment by Lilly?
No, what was it?
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity-interviews/lost-star-evangeline-lilly-tells-2921654AFTER she finished on mind-bending telly series Lost, in 2009, Evangeline Lilly thought she had retired from acting. yeah ? well think on, there's still time !
She and boyfriend Norman Kali had their first child, son Kahekili, in May 2011 and the 34-year-old Canadian beauty was settled into family life until she was offered the part of new elf character Tauriel in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which is released today.
Evangeline – whose son (his name is Hawaiian for “the thunder”) was only three months old when they travelled from Hawaii, where she lives, to New Zealand to start filming – said: “When they called me, I thought I had retired, I thought I was done with acting.
“I was like, ‘I am a mom now, this is my life now and this is what I am going to do’. I was happy and content.
“I don’t know if there is any other role in all of the world that could have got me to go to start working, doing stunts, in another country, for a year.
“But it was a Woodland Elf in The Hobbit and there was just no way I could say no.”( plus i get to flirt & screw around with a hot dwarf !)
Evangeline joined the crew, which included Martin Freeman as Bilbo, Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf and the returning Orlando Bloom as Legolas.
There is also a strong Scots contingent, including teenager John Bell, who plays Bain, and two of the 13 dwarves – Ken Stott as Balin and Graham McTavish as Dwalin. Former Doctor Who Sylvester McCoy plays wizard Radagast the Brown.
Evangeline said: “I came out to New Zealand and started work when my son was only three months old.”
“So I was in the throes of nursing and trying to recover from my 30 hour labour, and I was focused inwardly.
“I was in that nesting time.”
The shoot has inspired the ex-model, whose breakthrough was as the lead character Kate Austen in JJ Abrams’ Lost, from 2004, to carry on acting.
She said: “The Hobbit was so positive. I had so much fun and all of my experiences surrounding it have been a really different experience for me than it was on Lost. (Even tho they should call this "Lost 2" as no one knows what the heck is going on )
“For the first time in 10 years, I actually think I like acting.( not that I get to do much of it, until I get to meet that cute little dwarf & that aint acting oh no! )
“This might be fun and I actually might want to do more. If it wasn’t for them pulling me out of bed and saying you are coming and working with us, I might have retired at that point, I may have never done a film again.” ( especially as I had to leave that cute Dwarf in the bed they just yanked me out off )
Evangeline took to playing the 600-year-old ruthless and rebellious elf with gusto. She wanted to do the wirework stunts herself but wasn’t allowed and employed a language coach so she could learn Elvish.
But then it was no wonder. Evangeline was a massive fan of The Hobbit, claiming it was her favourite book, even though ( she was actually mixing it up with LOTRs ) she didn’t finish reading The Lord of the Rings, putting it down with 50 pages left.
She laughed: “I refused to finish the book,( mainly cuz I dont read so good) ’cause then it would just live on in my mind forever. And then, later on, my sister ended up reading it and she told me, ‘It’s such a good thing you stopped reading because the end is devastating’.”
She admits that because she was such a big fan of the books she didn’t want to watch the Lord of the Rings movies, which starred former boyfriend Dominic Monaghan, who played hobbit Merry. They met when they both starred in Lost after he’d finished making the epic trilogy.( sighting she had a thing for small guys, VERY small guys )
Trauriel is a commoner, which means she isn't blonde like other elvesTrauriel is a commoner, which means she isn't blonde like other elves
She said: “I refused to see the first one when it came out. I was ‘No way, nobody will do those books justice. Nobody’. I wanted to protect the images that I had in my mind.
“I ended up going because my family went as a Christmas outing and I would have been the only person who wouldn’t have gone.( I went to see santas Elves instead, did I tell you I like small guys ? )
“I was so amazed that everything I saw was what I had envisioned.
“So once that happened, Peter earned the title of the ambassador of Tolkien’s work for meNot for me. Therefore, when I was asked to play an elf in The Hobbit, I was like, ‘Oh my God’, because the Woodland Elves were my favourite charactersIsn't it a bit of a stretch to call generic nameless background figures characters. I dreamed when I was a little girl of being a woodland elf.” ( just in case i got to meet a hot little Dwarf !)
Fans of the Hobbit will know that Tauriel doesn’t appear. The character was created to be head of the Elven guard by director Peter Jackson and his producing partner and wife Fran Walsh – to flesh out the elves of Mirkwood Forest and to add another female character to the story, which is dominated by males.
While she was in make-up, putting on her red wig to start shooting the film, Evangeline re-read The Hobbit.
She said: “I was shocked at how simple it is Just saying, if it were your favourite book you'd probably have noticed that earlier.... As a kid, it seemed like a really complex, interesting, difficult story to read.( there were no pictures ! )
“I went back and I was like oh it’s a kid’s book, a real – forgive me Tolkien, may you rest in peace – kind of boring for adults storyI read it AFTER LOTR and Enjoyed it more....
“And it doesn’t have a lot of twists and turns in the plot and there’s very little character development Would those things be necessary if you were adapting the book? Oh right...they weren't...and it made me realise why Peter had made the decisions he madeto make more money and 'finish Tolkien's rewrite'..., about characters and expanding storylines and basically complicating the story.
“It would have never survived in the adult film world if it was left the way it was in the book.” ( we need a little soft Dwarf/Elf action to spice it up )
Evangeline based her new character a little bit on Tinker Bell – the fairy from Peter Pan. She said: “When I think about Tinker Bell, she is this delicate, beautiful, sensual, little nymphette but she’s also powerful and scary and you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of Tink.( no, but she sure likes to shake her butt !)
“She’s a strong little feisty thing.
“I am a huge fan of the Lady Cottington’s book of Pressed Fairies and those are nasty little things.( make the pages all gooey ! ) That book is a bit naughty.”
The actress sees Tauriel as representing the Woodland Elves, who JRR Tolkien talks about in the 1937 The Hobbit book but doesn’t highlight one character. You would think with a completely new character, the actress would have free rein rather than the famous characters of the book such as Bilbo or Gandalf.
( she was free & easy with a hot little Dwarf ?)
She said: “I think that I had the tightest leash out of anybody with them, because they knew exactly what they were after and I completely relied on them.( said Miss Whiplash of the evergreen folk )
“Because I couldn’t go to the book and take my own interpretation, I had to listen to what their interpretation wasThat can't have been fun....
“But it also gave me incredible freedom because you don’t have in your mind how Tauriel should look, or act, sound or behave.” ( so watch out Dwarves here I come ! )
Tauriel is very different to the Lord of the Rings elves. She’s a commoner, which means she’s shorter and doesn’t have the blonde hair and blue eyes but red locks and green eyes.
While Legolas and the other elves in the Lord of the Rings helped men to defeat Sauron and his army, Tauriel and the Woodland Elves in the new film are out for themselves and defending their realm against orcs from the Dol Guldur area.
She said: “I do a lot of killing, Tauriel kills a lot and it was great fun slaughtering orcs.”
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
- Posts : 15710
Join date : 2012-10-07
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Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=125151
Billy Boyd's "The Last Goodbye" is back up online. Give it a listen.
Billy Boyd's "The Last Goodbye" is back up online. Give it a listen.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
- Posts : 6384
Join date : 2013-08-24
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
“It would have never survived in the adult film world if it was left the way it was in the book.”
adult film world. porn lol.
adult film world. porn lol.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
- Posts : 6384
Join date : 2013-08-24
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
A gay porn parody of The Hobbit would probably find a way to tell its "story" without feeling a lack of "feminine energy". Just saying.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
bungobaggins wrote:http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=125151
Billy Boyd's "The Last Goodbye" is back up online. Give it a listen.
I hadn't listened to any of the previews before, so listening to the full song now is my first exposure to it. Boyd is a talented singer and it's a good song. I'm also glad that it's able to stand apart from his song in ROTK. While I didn't fall in love with it at first listen, I suspect it will grow on me, which was the case with the previous two end credits songs. It's a little on the nose but I suspect that it will be emotionally effective in theatres -- particularly for fans of the Hobbit trilogy but also for people like me who feel conflicted about the series ending.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
A gay porn parody of The Hobbit would probably find a way to tell its "story" without feeling a lack of "feminine energy".- Eldo
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46837
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 53
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Eldorion wrote:A gay porn parody of The Hobbit would probably find a way to tell its "story" without feeling a lack of "feminine energy". Just saying.
Unless they throw a couple trannies in there too...Chicks with dicks counts as feminine energy doesn't it?
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Sinister71- Stinging Fly
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Location : deep in the south USA
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Eldorion wrote:A gay porn parody of The Hobbit would probably find a way to tell its "story" without feeling a lack of "feminine energy". Just saying.
The Throbbit. Starring: Dildo Bangings, Thorny Oakenwood, Gay Ladriel, and Ram 'em Fast the Brown.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
An Unexpected Jackoff
The Desolation of Smegma
The Battle of the Five Anuses
The Desolation of Smegma
The Battle of the Five Anuses
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Ass-hog the Defiler and his spawn Bulge
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Join date : 2013-08-24
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Hey, if you use the kuleshov effect (which is basically re-editing the scenes to give a different meaning) with the hobbit movies AND LOTR, then you wouldn't even need to film a porno
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Tinuviel- Finest Nose
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Age : 29
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
Don't forget the fantastic three-way sub-plot featuring Whory-Elle, Legs o'Ass, and Kinky the dwarf.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Join date : 2013-08-24
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Join date : 2013-08-24
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
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"I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author." -JRRT
Tinuviel- Finest Nose
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Age : 29
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies' [2]
look what happens when we agree on something ?? ( sorta ? )
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azriel- Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr
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