2013 Forumshire Film Awards

Hooray! nearly time...

The tension is killing me     

(I don't believe we've met Beren,  ) 

I only get to talk three times today, so here's the first. We all know Beren is an idiot. Don't be mean. Also, if you cannot behave, then I will be forced to chase you up a tree and bark at you for hours on end. That's a promise. But since Beren is currently being told the truth about what he's actually doing, I will be presenting the first award today.

We start out with a big one. BEST LOOKING CGI
The Candidates are...

SMAUG


THE SPIDERS


BEORN IN BEAR FORM



And the winner, by a landslide, is.....




SMAUG!!!!!!


The next award will be presented shortly after a few messages from Beren. He agreed to continue so long as he could preach decency first. So have fun with that. I'm goin PJ hunting!

Smaugiedick wins!

Schmmmmaugg!   

No surprises there!

Finally. (And Smaug was the best-looking-not-real thing in the movie.)

Well that's a relief. His tantrums can be ugly.....  

Awesome, Tin Smaug was the only real candidate, but congratulations to him either way

Thank Eru for Huan! Sorry everyone I don't have much to work with!
Anyway! The next award!!!

WORST CGI
This award is especially cringe worthy since there is so much horribleness in my opinion...

Oh. By the way, Beren liked the films. Alot. I have a feeling his speech on decency that he's going to give will be obnoxiously positive about the film. So prepare for that. I've given him all the positive awards.
Anyway, onwards!

GANDALF IN DOL GULDUR


SAURON'S VAGINA


AZOG AND BOLG



LIQUID GOLD




And the winner is....






Yeah, this was PJ deliberately pissing on Tolkien. So good job everyone!

Well, this one was tougher A worthy winner (though no more ((or less)) worthy than the rest)!

I'm not sure if 'worthy winner' is a compliment in this case or not, but well done Weta!

Note to self apparently a ferking huge dragon dosen't look 'cooler' is spray painted gold...

And to piggy back off of that award, I give you....

DUMBEST PJ MOMENT

There were too many of these to count, but these stood out as the most particularly heinous.

HEROIC WHEELBARROW


GOLDEN STATUE


TAURIEL'S HEALING SCENE (ugh this one makes me cringe just thinking about it)


BILBO KILLING THE BABY SPIDER


And the winner (though some people literally just voted for all of these moments...) is...



This entire fiasco. I think we all agree that all that is gold doesn't have to glitter so damn much.

  ohh Bendydick won    

I still think Azog is the worstest tho   not to mention those wargs.

NONONONONO its the baby spider Killing   

whoops, this started earlier than i thought.. YEY FOR SMAUG! i thought the fabolous bit with the gold was cool, the whole statue melting on the other hand, wtf?

So Smaug is involved in both the best and the worst cgi of the movie and dumbest Peter Jackson moment. That's... impressive.  

It would have been easier to choose one thing we liked, as 99.9% was shite.

It was tough choosing between the killing of the baby spider and the golden statue. But at the end of the day Bilbo murdering that spider seemed more plausible than the golden statue.

I think Smaug's awards sum up DOS pretty well-brilliantly sh*te!

This is more fun than the real thing !  

Mmmm. if we are getting worked up by a CGI, whether its praise or blame, doesnt say much, if anything, bout the film at all. I still think its the biggest pile of shat Ive ever ever seen, to me it was a puke fest from start to finish, & the actors ENJOYED working on this ? the low point of each ones careers ?

The highlight of Martin Freeman's movie career was talking to a ping pong ball painted green.   

I wouldnt admit that on my CV  

Beren wrote:

Welcome Everyone! I've been chosen to host {{{{{well co-host}}}}}} this years film awards. Tin said it was because of that Scottshobbit. I blame him for her problems with Buckie. He's a bad influence forumshireans! BUCKIE IS BAD DON'T -   sorry what? Buckie is sponsoring the awards? Well why wasn't I told? What do you mean I have a temper? I'M COMPLETELY CALM DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO FELAGUND--
We will return shortly

Oh those two...
Well, to be honest, my Finrod can be a bit annoying at times...

And only just now did I realize that bear-Beorn looks a lot like Mikael Persbrandt. Which is a bit ironic since I didn't think really recognize Mikael as human-Beorn. *sigh*

[center]Alright, alright I'm calm. Now a little chat about these damn awards! They shouldn't be happening, in my opinion. They should all be positive. Thorin's character is so much better than Bilbo's. He's just like Aragorn, and he's quite hunky, if Tin doesn't mind me saying so. Sure, he's a dwarf, and dwarves are treacherous (they killed my father-in-law after all!) but that just made the racism all the better! And Tauriel and Kili? GENIUS! The combination of them and their mutual affection is just what they need to close the rift between their races, except of course we know it will do nothing, but it's still nice. And I'm SOOOO glad the dwarves actually got to do something! They kicked Smaug's butt! And the elves were BADASS! I wish Legolas came with me instead of Finrod! So my advice is to quit your moaning and cringing and accept these films for the creative masterpieces that they are!
Alright, now onto our next award![center]

BEST REALIZED NEW MIDDLE EARTH ENVIRONMENT



THRANDUIL'S HALLS


BEORN'S HOUSE


MIRKWOOD FOREST


EREBOR


And the winner is....




LAKETOWN!!! And those little dogs are soooooo cute! They remind me of Huan!