Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
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Forumshire :: Middle-earth :: The Hobbit
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
What a cop out ! Peejers nearly didnt make a film cos 13 characters proved to much ? Dont have a lot of confidence in yourself do ya peejers what a shame there wasnt 14 dwarves ! then we wouldnt have the bloody film
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Eldorion wrote:No stroke patient voice, no watch.
Email me if you wanna pizza roll.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
I like the review so far, but it doesn't have any Plinkett type humor or hook that would help it go viral.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
I like the vid above, it summed up how I feel. How fed up with Peejers I am. And its true, look at the screen time & visual Bilbo gets ? fook all. The Dwarves ? hours of endless crap ! I dont give a flying fook if one is a 'hot totty' or the other is an apothecary, so fooking what. It wasnt like it in the book so why be like it in the film. Do what the fook you like peejers if this was a film of your own imagination & had nothing whatsoever to do with Tolkien. You can do as you like but, to make each Dwarf someone so special that all want to sing his name ? fook off ! Its Bilbo, in case you hadnt noticed peejers you idiot of the first degree ! Bilbo should be front & center & in our minds as we leave the cinema. You tosser ! Im glad peejers is getting negative reviews, Im so happy I could sing from the top of a mountain, Maria Von Trapp style ! The more bad reviews he gets the more he might think what a total cock up he's vomited onto the unsuspecting cinema going person.
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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Dont agree with him on all things, he seems to have a limited book knowledge. But gets the major flaws about PJ and these films right.
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Alright so I got through the first part and while the guy is clearly doing his best Not!Plinkett impression, he was pretty spot-on with regards to the Dwarves in terms of both design and their role in the story. I'm sure most everyone here has heard all the arguments before, but it's well-presented and I'm sure there will be some people who see these for whom the points made are new.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Okay, both the video guy and PJ are completely wrong about Bilbo not having any character development after he leaves home. The Hobbit is one of the most famous bildungsromans in literature. The whole fucking story is about Bilbo's development and "growing up", despite already being middle aged. No, it's not a particularly complex or unusual arc, but it dominates the entire book. How the hell can anyone miss that?
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Bilbo's character development is at the heart of the book, its what the books freakin about!
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Yeah that a major part of his limited book knowledge!
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Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Yeah that was one of the things that was glaringly wrong, but I was willing to let it slide because he didn't seem much like a book person. Plus I was just excited to see a Plinkett style review that was panning the film.
The video was linked to in torn, and there was a lot righteous indignation in the thread so I think the mods took it down.
The video was linked to in torn, and there was a lot righteous indignation in the thread so I think the mods took it down.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Someone made a thread asking what happened to the original and apparently it was deleted on the grounds that the thread violated the rules about self-promotion because it was a link to an external site and the guy's username was the same as his website's URL (allegedly). Seems rather suspect considering it was a review of The Hobbit and there's no way to upload videos directly to a forum, but some sites are really strict with their "no ads except the ones that paid for the privilege" rules.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Alright, I made it through the whole thing, and in the end I'm quite impressed by the review. Yes, it was Plinkett Lite, and yes, he totally fucked up with the section on Bilbo's characterization, but otherwise I thought this was a really strong review and a very effective summary of the problems with the film. The only problem I think it might have is that it's simply too long. I understand that it kind of needed to be since there was just so much wrong with AUJ, but the review itself is like two hours and it doesn't have the entertainment factor of a genuine Plinkett review, with the voice and the skits and the jokes. But still, this was a fun watch and I'd recommend it to anyone who likes putting too much thought into movies.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
It's unfortunate that the main factor in Thorin/Kili/Fili's design was the female libido.
bungobaggins- Eternal Mayor in The Halls of Mandos
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Eldorion wrote:Someone made a thread asking what happened to the original and apparently it was deleted on the grounds that the thread violated the rules about self-promotion because it was a link to an external site and the guy's username was the same as his website's URL (allegedly). Seems rather suspect considering it was a review of The Hobbit and there's no way to upload videos directly to a forum, but some sites are really strict with their "no ads except the ones that paid for the privilege" rules.
That's too bad. It wouldn't hurt to have more people watch it, even if they will never change their minds about the movies. I'm sure someone would write a 100+ page response about how every point he makes is wrong (which is what happened with the Plinkett reviews). I'm trying to be more open about people just showing up and promoting themselves. {{{I felt like I hadn't been very fair to those who did it here in the past.}}}
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
bungobaggins wrote:I'm sure someone would write a 100+ page response about how every point he makes is wrong (which is what happened with the Plinkett reviews).
The same thing occurred to me, actually. I used to post on the forums where the guy who wrote that response was based. Honestly, not all of his points were off-base, but then again Plinkett opened himself up to that because a lot of the stuff he said was exaggerated for the sake of comedy.
I don't really give a shit about people posting here to promote themselves, so long as they appear to be a real person and the stuff is at least marginally relevant to topics we discuss on here. I can understand why other forum admins might feel differently, however, particularly if they're relying on ad dollars to stay online. When you're asking people to pay you for the privilege of advertising on your site, you can't really let other people advertise for free. I'm not sure that's exactly what happened in this case on TORn, but I didn't see the thread that got deleted.
Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
I watched the vids, some things are way off but most of what he says I agree with.
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
It's such a monumental failing on his part that he doesn't recognize Bilbo's character arc that I almost quit watching when that part of the video began. Talk about a derp.
Edit: Blech, watching Peter Jackson talk about the "lack of any real character development in the book because it was written for such young readers." These classics of English Children's literature work because they have character development.
"Breakneck episodic action story" MY FOOT!!
Further edit: This reviewer says, "[the filmmakers] made the most of what they had to work with, they even gave Bilbo a little more substance than Tolkien did."
....
This man is an ignorant slut.
Final edit: But then, as I go on, he does make some good points as well. And he makes them in a clear and concise manner. His graph of typical film-plot exposition works very well.
Edit: Blech, watching Peter Jackson talk about the "lack of any real character development in the book because it was written for such young readers." These classics of English Children's literature work because they have character development.
"Breakneck episodic action story" MY FOOT!!
Further edit: This reviewer says, "[the filmmakers] made the most of what they had to work with, they even gave Bilbo a little more substance than Tolkien did."
....
This man is an ignorant slut.
Final edit: But then, as I go on, he does make some good points as well. And he makes them in a clear and concise manner. His graph of typical film-plot exposition works very well.
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
he also doesnt realize that Jackson making Bilbo in the Goblin cave decide to leave the company and leg it back to Rivendell is a gross betrayal of Bilbo's character, no matter what, he NEVER just quit.
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Yeah well, yet another throwback to LotR.
A hobbit character (Sam/Bilbo) decides to quit the quest and return home in a complete betrayal of the source material.
A hobbit character (Sam/Bilbo) decides to quit the quest and return home in a complete betrayal of the source material.
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"The earth was rushing past like a river or a sea below him. Trees and water, and green grass, hurried away beneath. A great roar of wild animals rose as they rushed over the Zoological Gardens, mixed with a chattering of monkeys and a screaming of birds; but it died away in a moment behind them. And now there was nothing but the roofs of houses, sweeping along like a great torrent of stones and rocks. Chimney-pots fell, and tiles flew from the roofs..."
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Im making my way thru, Im on episode 6. A lot makes sense to me but I, like all of you, dont agree with the defamation of Bilbo. Jackson is so talking out of his arse, strike that, Ive farted more sense than him, ( & got the stains to prove it) Jackson is talking crap after he got his lobotomy ! And as for Boyens !? she just doesnt know what to say does she, she's ooming & arghing & looking as vacant as the Bates Motel.
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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Well it can be difficult to speak in front of a camera sometimes. I think they believe what they are saying, but what they believe may simply be incorrect memories of theirs.
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"The earth was rushing past like a river or a sea below him. Trees and water, and green grass, hurried away beneath. A great roar of wild animals rose as they rushed over the Zoological Gardens, mixed with a chattering of monkeys and a screaming of birds; but it died away in a moment behind them. And now there was nothing but the roofs of houses, sweeping along like a great torrent of stones and rocks. Chimney-pots fell, and tiles flew from the roofs..."
Forest Shepherd- The Honorable Lord Gets-Banned-a-lot of Forumshire
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Pic of Elrond in armour- seems to be from ages ago though as thats the old non cgi Bolg- but even so why is Elrond in this? Why is he in armour near orcs?
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
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Re: Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...
Yeah most likely- I guess PJ is going to shoehorn fights in for everyone then
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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