Waiting for 'The Battle of the Five Armies'...

Ive been thunking today, something Ive made a life longs habit not to do but, Bard is named "Bard The Bowman" yes ? so, where's the chuffing bow ? has he fired said chuffing bow ? has he aimed the chuffing bow ? will he actually use the chuffing thing in the film ever at all ?

i believe he was holding a bow when we first meet him, after the dwarves abandon their barrels. And he has a huge ass bow in all the promotional pictures   

Yeah he uses the bow once in DOS, right when we first meet him, he makes an elf worthy shot and shoots something out the air or something (um cant remember what) before Balin calms him down.

Yeah, but what sticks in my half fluffy mind is, or am I getting my films in a muddle ? but, isnt there a terminator style machine gun like bazooka ready for smiting said dragon ? There are not serously thinking of using a harpoon to gun down Smaug are they ? Takes away the heroism if they do ? One mans bravery, standing solid against a mighty foe & all that ?

Yeah the windlass or something, with a giant black arrow. Im guessing 'subtle' has fallen out of the PJ house dictionary.

that ship sailed to Valinor yonks ago

I'm just waiting to see how Legolas or Tauriel will dwarf Bard in terms of usefulness during the dragon attack

Why would the town have a wind-lance installed on the top of the Master's residence if the only black arrow left is in Bard's possession? I'm assuming that the town doesn't know that Bard has the black arrow because he's kept it hidden all these years. So having the wind-lance up there has done what exactly? Has it been used at all? Do they have other sizable "arrows" to fire from the wind-lance? What's so special about the black arrow that would make it more powerful than another kind of arrow?

These movies are fucking stupid.

Hey now, hold on Azriel! Let's not allow Peter Jackson and Co.'s brain blurps to overcome the actual story.
No matter what Bard's ancestor Girion may or may not have done in the past, Bard is not alone when he kills the dragon. He is in command of a company of bowmen that stand fast against Smaug.
And although "his friends are leaving him" at the last, when he draws the black arrow upon his great yew bow, he is not alone for the duration of his attempts.
It is his ability to rally other men to him and lead them that is his greatest quality, NOT his possession of an old-ass arrow.


I bet Tauriel has a hand in helping Lake-towners into boats, Legolas will probably be off chasing that orc whats-his-face, so I expect that from Tauriel.

I thought it was the possession of a new-ass ballista

Ringdrotten wrote:I thought it was the possession of a new-ass ballista

If that were so the soldiery of Lake-town would be the heroic ones. I believe it is meant to be the combination of stationary-crossbow-thing and bolt. (I'm not going to call it an arrow because it's not a freakin' arrow if it's not shot from a bow).

"I'm not going to call it an arrow because it's not a freakin' arrow if it's not shot from a bow"

Agreed The Black Projectile would be closer to the mark.

"The Black Missile of Nearly Imminent Death"   
I agree Bard was good at stirring up the troops, & that the Master of Laketown was a gutless shrimp who couldnt fight his way out of a wet paper bag but, will we get the rousing speech Bard gives as hes down to his last & resorts on the famous family heirloom? Will we see the thrush, who seems to have more gumption than the rest of them? Its these things that make it a fairy tale, I want a roll along fairy tale in all honesty, I dont want it to be to actionyfied, I dont want huge epic hero's, I want that 'feel good factor' Goddam it peejers !  

"He bent his bow for the last time...
'Wait! Wait!' [the Thrush] said to him. 'The moon is rising. Look for the hollow of the left breast as he flies and turns above you!' And while Bard paused in wonder it told him of tidings up in the Mountain and of all that it had heard.
Then Bard drew his bow-string to his ear. The dragon was circling back, flying low, and as he came the moon rose above the eastern shore and silvered his great wings.
'Arrow!' said the bowman. 'Black arrow! I have saved you the last. You have never failed me and always I have recovered you. I had you from my father and he from of old. If ever you came from the forges of the true king under the Mountain, go now and speed well!' "

They literally can't use that dialogue in the film as it contradicts events as they occurred in DoS.
So, prepare for other sh*t instead.

Oh, look guys! We were so wrong! There's a lot of DEEP meaning in DOS. OMG SO MUCH DEEPNESS I CAN'T EVEN.

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2014/06/15/89993-nine-visual-metaphors-from-the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug/

Well that was rather lame.

It is not "bad luck" to have killers out for you because of who you are, it is the natural consequences of your past actions. It is bad luck to run into trolls, for example, or something.

I guess they're not all terrible, as far as such symbolism goes. Tauriel running past a slaughtered deer is rather appropriate, considering her ultimate fa-- WAIT A SECOND. Whoever said that Tauriel was going to die?? Unless I am forgetting something here.

I mean who cares, of course, but still. Whatever, I do not much care for this list of nine. (Wonder what that number signifies??)
 


Edit: I can't even think straight in the face of such pitiful attempts at scraping the bottom of the barrel. My words here are coming out all scrambled and mushy.

Forest Shepherd wrote:I do not much care for this list of nine. (Wonder what that number signifies??)

9 Members of the Fellowship

13 Dwarves in Oakenshield's Company

13 - 9 = 4

4 sections in The Silmarillion.

Silmarillion HBO miniseries confirmed.

bungobaggins wrote:Oh, look guys! We were so wrong! There's a lot of DEEP meaning in DOS. OMG SO MUCH DEEPNESS I CAN'T EVEN.

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2014/06/15/89993-nine-visual-metaphors-from-the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug/

yet more wishful thinking from TORn   

bungobaggins wrote:Silmarillion HBO miniseries confirmed.

Kinda random, but I find it hilarious how every fantasy fandom in the world is jumping on the "we want an HBO miniseries!" bandwagon now that Game of Thrones has proven successful. It's like no one remembers how all of those "we want PJ/New Line to adapt our favorite book!" campaigns turned out a decade ago. (Hint: if you don't remember, just go watch The Golden Compass. Or not.)

bungobaggins wrote:Oh, look guys! We were so wrong! There's a lot of DEEP meaning in DOS. OMG SO MUCH DEEPNESS I CAN'T EVEN.

Not saying it's particularly deep, but I find the visual language of cinema to be interesting.  When I first started watching movies seriously I was really hung-up on screenwriting and words, so I try to pay more attention to the visual side of things now.  The examples they give for DOS were all pretty basic, though I hadn't noticed all of them (mainly because I didn't find the film that interesting and have only seen it twice).

So apparently there's a new rule that trailers can only come out 150 days before the film is released, so for BOFA that'd be July ish. Got this info from TORN but whether it applies to to this has yet to be confirmed

I found this priceless note on www.herr-der-ringe-film.de

"Nun warten wir auf den Trailer, der eigentlich bereits längst vor GODZILLA und EDGE OF TOMORROW in den Kinos laufen sollte, aber noch einmal zurück gezogen wurde, da er sich zu sehr auf Bilbo als Figur fokussierte, nun aber mehr die namensgebende Schlacht der Fünf Heere in den Vordergrund rücken soll."

I’ll try to translate it as good as I can:

Now we are waiting for the trailer, who should have been in cinema long before GODZILLA and EDGE OF TOMORROW, but was withdrawn because he focused too much on Bilbo. Now the Battle of the 5 armies, which gives the movie its name will be given the priority.

Don’t know if this information is reliable, but I wanted to share it anyway, because it’s so hilarious. Just imagine, Bilbo in focus in his own story. What a faux pas! Of course they had to redo that trailer.

Yes, thats the trouble with PJ, he slips up occasionally. I mean, a film about a book character ? & a main character also ! Unheard of ! total madness old chap ! Thats why hes got his good & trusted friends (Phillipa & Fran et al) to steer him in the right direction, guide him when he's lost his way, (which is all the time) & remind him where his focus must lie !! ANYWHERE except the fooking story ! Fantasy, blood, gore, idiosyncrasy, all the things that make Peejers the great man that he is, is skillfully & craftily handled (oh yeah ?) by his excellent team, & where would we be without them I hear you gasp ? How about ENJOYING A FOOKING FILM THATS SORTA LIKE THE BOOK ??!! and yet, I hear you cry, did he fook up TinTin ? my God, someone had a grip on the old nadgers to keep him in line on that one.

That bit about the trailer is hilarious if true.

I think most people were expecting a trailer by now based on the pattern from the first two films, and it is a little weird that we haven't seen one yet. A TORn columnist speculates that they might be waiting until Comic-Con (which is in late July this year) for various possible reasons.

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2014/06/16/90060-some-clarification-of-the-hobbit-trailer-situation/