Re: Critics review 'Desolation of Smaug' | POSSIBLE SPOILERS

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:20 pm

I'm still reading TORN. Why I don't know. Well partly I do. I look for lore discussions there; and some of it seems in support of this 'PJ' person and his doings, and then I see if I really agree that the lore actually supports these certain doings and undoings.

I just read a TORNIC review that said Smaug is toying with the Dwarves, and so that's why he don't get any after a three hour action scene.

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:20 pm

Sometimes I don't think I can ELE.

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:22 pm

Elthir wrote:I'm still reading TORN. Why I don't know. Well partly I do. I look for lore discussions there; and some of it seems in support of this 'PJ' person and his doings, and then I see if I really agree that the lore actually supports these certain doings and undoings.

I just read a TORNIC review that said Smaug is toying with the Dwarves, and so that's why he don't get any after a three hour action scene.

All he had to do was breath fucking fire at them. Smaug is vain and a "psychopath" according to PJ and Coven, but that doesn't mean he's fucking stupid! Extremely Crabbit

by Radaghast Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:24 pm

He's toying with all 13 (or is it 10) of them? Wouldn't he kill at least one to strike fear in the others' hearts?

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:25 pm

I take it you [edit: both] don't agree with the 'toying' characterization then Very Happy

by Radaghast Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:27 pm

Yeah, that would be a fair assessment Very Happy

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:33 pm

Well, he may be toying with him for a bit, but where's the line between toying with them and utterly failing at killing them?

Especially at the end, he just stands in front of the statue and just stares at it. Why? He should have just left for Lake-town already! Why is he even giving these people the time of day? He thinks Bilbo is from Lake-town, so he goes there to destroy it. But no, he's gotta turn around and come back and stare at a statue for 30 seconds, which gives it enough time to melt and cover him in gold.

What a fucking moron.

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:34 pm

One of my recent favorite TORNIC comments was a seeming 'jest', as someone posted that people would [in theory] complain that they were 'ripped out of the story' if the leap of Beren [Silmarillion] was adapted to screen [Beren leaps upon a horse]...

... suggesting, or so I interpreted the jest anyway, that Jackson's [in my opinion] over the top, absurd, video-game drawn out 'action' [boring] sequences were somehow comparable!?!

I didn't let that go without some commentary, at least Very Happy

Although the person who posted it didn't explain if my take of his comments was correct (that I currently know of -- their threads don't 'bump' when added to].

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:38 pm

Wait... statue?

I thought it was statute Wink

Seinfeld reference

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:46 pm

Oh, now I am trying to remember what Seinfeld episode.

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:46 pm

Oh, yes!

The episode where they meet Baboo!

by Ringdrotten Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:14 pm

Radaghast wrote:He's toying with all 13 (or is it 10) of them? Wouldn't he kill at least one to strike fear in the others' hearts?

It's 9, actually... Extremely Crabbit

by bungobaggins Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:15 pm

The Fellowship of the Gold Pile!

by Tinuviel Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:17 pm

Elthir wrote:One of my recent favorite TORNIC comments was a seeming 'jest', as someone posted that people would [in theory] complain that they were 'ripped out of the story' if the leap of Beren [Silmarillion] was adapted to screen [Beren leaps upon a horse]...

... suggesting, or so I interpreted the jest anyway, that Jackson's [in my opinion] over the top, absurd, video-game drawn out 'action' [boring] sequences were somehow comparable!?!

I didn't let that go without some commentary, at least

Although the person who posted it didn't explain if my take of his comments was correct (that I currently know of -- their threads don't 'bump' when added to].

If they were being serious, that's ridiculous, because Beren's leap was a legend, not something casually done because he's the hero of the story. If anything that grounds the story in realism more!!!

by Eldorion Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:21 pm

bungobaggins wrote:Well, he may be toying with him for a bit, but where's the line between toying with them and utterly failing at killing them?

Especially at the end, he just stands in front of the statue and just stares at it. Why? He should have just left for Lake-town already! Why is he even giving these people the time of day? He thinks Bilbo is from Lake-town, so he goes there to destroy it. But no, he's gotta turn around and come back and stare at a statue for 30 seconds, which gives it enough time to melt and cover him in gold.

What a fucking moron.

That was the shit cherry on top of that scene.

Smaug: Fuck you all! I'm sick of this fight. I'm leaving the Mountain and am going to go destroy Lake-town!

Thorin: Hey, you! Uh ... you slug! That's right bitch, get back here.

Smaug: Alright, you asked for it. Here I come!

Thorin: Surprise, motherfucker! Giant weaponized gold statue!

Smaug: The fuck is this shit?

*Smaug gets covered in molten gold*

Thorin: In your face!

Smaug: Yeeeeeeeoowch! Screw this, I'm going to Lake-town after all.

*roll credits*

by Bluebottle Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:37 pm

Eldorion wrote:

That was the shit cherry on top of that scene.

Smaug: Fuck you all! I'm sick of this fight. I'm leaving the Mountain and am going to go destroy Lake-town!

Thorin: Hey, you! Uh ... you slug! That's right bitch, get back here.

Smaug: Alright, you asked for it. Here I come!

Thorin: Surprise, motherfucker! Giant weaponized gold statue!

Smaug: The fuck is this shit?

*Smaug gets covered in molten gold*

Thorin: In your face!

Smaug: Yeeeeeeeoowch! Screw this, I'm going to Lake-town after all.

*roll credits*

Another great excample of the quality of their original writing I see. Rolling Eyes

One wouldn't call it Oscar worthy, would one. Rolling Eyes

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:26 pm

Tinuviel wrote: If they were being serious, that's ridiculous, because Beren's leap was a legend, not something casually done because he's the hero of the story. If anything that grounds the story in realism more!!!

And then another TORNITE came along and said he/she was reminded of Beren's leap when he/she saw Filmolas [pronounce Filmolas with a primary stress on the first syllable, as in Legolas] 'leap' onto a horse in the second film adaptation of The Lord of the Rings.

I looked at Filmolas' stunt on Youtube, closely... and asked why would that remind anyone of Beren's leap.

by Elthir Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:41 pm

By the way I suppose I am a TORNITE too. I mean I do currently post there.

Not much about the films though.

by The Wobbit A Parody Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:53 pm

Smaug being covered in gold reminded me of a scene in the film version of Peter Benchley's "The Deep" where two bodybuilders fight each other armed with outboard motors. It seemed a little "over the top." Just a little.

by Music of the Ainur Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:04 pm

bungobaggins wrote:
Elthir wrote:I'm still reading TORN. Why I don't know. Well partly I do. I look for lore discussions there; and some of it seems in support of this 'PJ' person and his doings, and then I see if I really agree that the lore actually supports these certain doings and undoings.

I just read a TORNIC review that said Smaug is toying with the Dwarves, and so that's why he don't get any after a three hour action scene.

All he had to do was breath fucking fire at them. Smaug is vain and a "psychopath" according to PJ and Coven, but that doesn't mean he's fucking stupid!

To kill his primary foe, the heir to the kingdom he destroyed he didn't even have to breathe fire at him, all he had to do was open his mouth a tiny bit wider when Thorin was straddleing his mouth. :facepalm:

by Bluebottle Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:31 pm

It certainly makes him look infinitely defeatable, and removes a lot of the danger felt by the reader for Laketown in the book. Rolling Eyes

by Radaghast Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:40 pm

bungobaggins wrote:Well, he may be toying with him for a bit, but where's the line between toying with them and utterly failing at killing them?

From the descriptions, it seems like they're toying with him.

by Radaghast Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:42 pm

Ringdrotten wrote:
Radaghast wrote:He's toying with all 13 (or is it 10) of them? Wouldn't he kill at least one to strike fear in the others' hearts?

It's 9, actually...

Who's absent? Fili and/or Kili, Bifur and Bombur?

by Radaghast Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:43 pm

Eldorion wrote:That was the shit cherry on top of that scene.

Smaug: Fuck you all! I'm sick of this fight. I'm leaving the Mountain and am going to go destroy Lake-town!

Thorin: Hey, you! Uh ... you slug! That's right bitch, get back here.

Smaug: Alright, you asked for it. Here I come!

Thorin: Surprise, motherfucker! Giant weaponized gold statue!

Smaug: The fuck is this shit?

*Smaug gets covered in molten gold*

Thorin: In your face!

Smaug: Yeeeeeeeoowch! Screw this, I'm going to Lake-town after all.

*roll credits*

by Bluebottle Tue Dec 17, 2013 10:16 pm

Yup, great one Eldo. Laughing