Petty's Purist LotR Edits [3]

 

I'm here though   

Got a little sunshine for your flower RA.  

  

Recoveryanonymous wrote: 

I'm here though   

  

bungobaggins wrote:Got a little sunshine for your flower RA.  

  

Mrs Figgs wrote:   

  

Nobody at all watched the DOS edit yet?   

I've downloaded it

That was more than a bloody week ago!!    Its only about an hour long   

I need to muster some courage first

to quote Gandalf, 'you'll need it'

Well it takes less courage than to watch Pj's, about 2 hours worth less.

Petty, I'm not sure where I left off on my comments for the DOS edit, so I'll pick it up with the Barrels.

Barrels
This is 100 percent proof that Jackson could have done the barrel escape tastefully, without orcs, without elves in pursuit, and without mindless action. It could have been a fun two minute set piece of the dwarves riding the rapids. Hell, he could even leave the tops off the barrels. It could have been done well, but Jackson thinks we're stupid and need non-stop action to keep our dumb little brains entertained.

Lake-town
I would cut the boat ride from the river to Lake-town, but there's one problem. We only first hear Bard's name from the fact that the other dwarves don't know it and are assholes about it all, and only Bilbo bothered to ask. I think the least you could do is cut out the paranoid, "How do you know he won't betray us?" "We don't." exchange between Dwalin and Thorin.

Ha! I love how Bard entering Lake-town has become so simple and no Grima 2.0

I guess you can't really take out the black arrow stuff.

I'm trying to find things to say about the night-time scenes in Lake-town. Fuck, Jackson really fucked up the whole story.

Erebor
Not having several of the dwarves get left behind makes it clear to me that I didn't give a crap about them at all. Fuck you, Bofur.

Christ, I just hate when Bilbo "finds" the secret staircase, it makes me cringe, "Oh, look, Bilbo did something important! See, we, the writers, haven't forgotten about him!". Thorin says, "If the map is true, then the hidden door lies directly above us." Um, ok, then look up you fooking moron! Did you not notice the big fucking statue in the side of the mountain? Does Jackson hate his audience?

Can we take out the faux-drama of "Oh, boo hoo, the sun set, let's give up."? Seeing as how you-know-who totally screwed the pooch, probably not.

The stuff with Smaug is good.

Good work, Petty. They could have made a good movie that was roughly three hours long that told the story of The Hobbit. Go to hell, Peter Jackson.

Thanks for watching and commenting Bungo.

I think I will cut out the line about betrayal- it no longer makes any sense anyway as they only go to Bards to get a heat and a meal before going to see the Master anyway. And they are no longer sneaking in.

I perhaps could dump the journey there as the guy on the gates of Laketown calls Bard by name. I will take a look at that.

I doubt I can remove the black arrow stuff- but I might be able to- that rather depends how things pan out in the final film.

I also hate the finding of the staircase- for  start whats a secret passage to the LOWER levels doing at the top of the bloody mountain, and second how does Thorin know its above them? The map he has is the one reproduced in TH book, its hardly topographical and full of local detail!

I tried to think of ways to take out the false melodrama- as the whole light of the moon thing doesn't in fact fit with the riddle on the map. But I couldn't see a way to do it.

'The stuff with Smaug is good.'

Thanks- I did a lot of work on that section and tried a lot of stuff out.

''Fuck you, Bofur.''

Indeed.   

Petty can you put a bit of new Barrels scenes on whatsit Dailymotion filed under Neeps? I am curious how you have managed to polish the turd.

Doing it now Figg- but the sound is out of synch- seems it didnt like me slicing that scene out- but it will still give you an idea.

Should be up in 10-15 minutes.

bungobaggins wrote:Did you not notice the big fucking statue in the side of the mountain?

You have keen eyes, Master Bungo.

Here you go complete with wonky sound    (and people wonder why I am so crabbit!   )

bungobaggins wrote:Does Jackson hate his audience?

Yes.

He also hates Tolkien.

I got around to watching it, Petty.   But I only got through AUJ so far ( a bit of DoS too, but not much.)

I might have some thoughts on that later.

All in all I must say good job, you almost made it into a whatchable movie.   

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Here you go complete with wonky sound    (and people wonder why I am so crabbit!   )

That is a thousand times better!     Its a different film   

They still defy all laws of physics by not turning over or sinking.   But, yeah, that is a lot better.  

Figg I can upload the purist edit to dailymotion for you- Ive broken it up into three parts (theres a 1 hour max limit on uploads), so when you have the time to watch a part (an hour) let me know, but you have to let me know 2-3 hours before you want to watch it so I can upload it- that way you can watch it soon as its up and less chance of it being pulled before you get the chance to.

So let me know when you want me to upload the first part.

  cheers that would be great. My monthly credit thing is low until the 15th and then watching streaming and vids etc should be quicker, at the moment its taking two hours to open emails let alone watch vids, but I will watch next week. I will let you know well in advance.   

No probs- its all ready to be uploaded so just give me the word when.

Radaghast wrote:
He also hates Tolkien.

That's a given.

I watched that barrel clip again. its remarkable how pleasant it is to watch. I really like it a lot.   
The only thing that felt wrong was the way the Dwarves look like men in costume. Dwalin in particular looks way too big, he looks every inch of the 6ft 2 he probably is in real life.