Agent Nora and the Poisonous Plums

Well no worries Mrs Figg- I plan to not let you ever get sober enough to come to any realisations.   

   "Think I drunk a shit full,please someone provide me a Disprol" !

Figgy - I hold you responsible for the norcing of this thread. We were merely waiting for you to post more! Give the people what they want or there will be disquiet!

.. that is no reason for norcing lance

No... it is not the reason for the norcing, norcing is just the inevitable consequence.

no... nonononono... no lance. you got it all wrong  there is always a reason for norcing, just not that..

There is!  

but only i know it

Agent Norc rolled over and projectile vomited into the bucket at the side of the bed, then rolled back staring glassy eyed at the ceiling. She heard groaning and whinging coming from the next room. Mrs Figg stumbled through the door looking green, she stuck her tongue in and out like a lizard trying to soak up water from a puddle of desert dew.
''Bluuuuuuuurg'' she mumbled, and staggered off to the kitchen.
Azriel and Amarie were already there shuffling around in their slippers looking woebegone and dishevelled. Azriels hair stuck up at the back like some gigantic cat had given her head a lick.
''never again, never again' whispered Amarie, ''even my hair hurts''.
''what we need is breakfast, something to soak up the alcohol'' said Figgs. the others groaned.
''what about these sponge cakes? said Norc who had decided to risk vertical motion.
''whatever, gimme'' said Azriel, ''its plum cake, cant face anything else''.
they all sat round the kitchen table disconsolately chewing on the cakes.
''they taste like sandpaper'' said Norc
''no its newspaper''
''My tastebuds are dead''
''just eat will you''
''bluuuurg''
Little did they know that on the other side of town the boys were eating plum cakes too. sweet juicy spongy plum cakes, light as a feather, but who had made them and how they had arrived, nobody knew, nor did anyone ask.

''I'm sleepy'' said Norc.
''yeah me too'' said Figgs
''I might just catch some zzzzzs'' said Azriel
'' '' said Amarie
'''' said CC
soon they were all slumbering peacefully in their respective beds.
and so were the boys.
The birds sang outside their rooms, the cats prowled, the milkman came clattering his bottles and went, the postman came whistling down the path and left. The sun moved stately through the heavens, the shadows lenthened, the day grew cooler and as twilight arrived the sky became full of golden sunbeams and drowsy bees.
Norc woke up stretched and yawned, she felt much much better. Her headache had gone, her hangover too. She heard the other girls stirring and laughing in the other rooms. Sunlight flecked her bed with colours of the Rainbow.
''wake up sleepy heads'' came a voice.
Norc didnt recognize who it was, it had a funny accent did that voice.
she wondered vaguely who it was.
That was when she noticed.
She wasnt in her room.
She wasnt anywhere she had ever seen before, this was somewhere strange indeed.

''never again, never again' whispered Amarie, ''even my hair hurts''.

after fifty your hair hurts for three days...  



"The birds sang outside their rooms, the cats prowled, the milkman came clattering his bottles and went, the postman came whistling down the path and left. The sun moved stately through the heavens, the shadows lenthened, the day grew cooler and as twilight arrived the sky became full of golden sunbeams and drowsy bees."

This is the kind of thing I like. Something to sit back and nostalgilize over. More of this, and less of the sex or vomiting or sex and vomiting, please.  

 

Now, back to work, Mrs Figg, I want more. And while you're doing that, I'm off to find a nipple. Cheerio for the mo.  

     For Mrs figg & her outrageous plums !

Well I for one am GLAD there was some norcing being flung about. I came back to find us on page 11 and was terrified I had missed pages of Figgness and would never get caught up (I usually just give up when so far behind) but found instead pages of glorious norcing I could just skip through and be right back with the story. Jolly well done.  

You mean to say that you didn't read our intensely creative and meaningful discussion, Halfy?  

halfwise wrote:but found instead pages of glorious norcing I could just skip through and be right back with the story.  Jolly well done.  

 

Awaiting more, Mrs Figg.  {{{Btw, I got my nipple! }}}

 okaaaay

CC came running at full tilt into Norcs room, she jumped on the bed and bounced there for a bit, words tumbling out willy nilly.
''kay kay chill!'' laughed Norc, ''the boys have played us good this time, where have they carried us?'' she shook her head giggling, wondering if the boys had noticed her fisk patterned jim jams.
''its its not Svalfart'' spluttered CC, ''its HOT!!!''.
''just look out the window Norc, just looooooooooooook!''
Amarie, Azriel and Figg ran in the room, they all stood at the window oohing and aahing.
''kay whats all this fuss? wondered Norc, she swung out of bed and wandered over to the girls, she pushed herself between them and let out an ear piercing Nordic scream.
''WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!''sildfiskòcrappodoodledoo!!!
There before their amazed eyes was a glorious medieval town, it was basking in morning sunlight, a cool fragrant breeze wafted through the open window on what looked like a stone terrace overlooking a garden full of fruit trees and splashing fountains, lemon blossom sent up an intoxicating fragrance and little bluebirds chattered and sang in the gently waving trees. There were rooves of red tile and turrets with flying banners of red and gold, White stone cobbled streets, shady squares and palaces as far as they could see. In the far distance stood blue mountains capped with snow, all hazy in the sun.
Norc took a large intake of breath and a feeling of intense excitment whooshed up from her toes to the top of her head, tingling Goosebumps covered her arms, the hairs on her neck stood up to attention,
ohmygodohmygodohmygodOH MY GODDDDDDAH!!!! she cried.
''where the heck are we? whispered Azriel. her pupils were dilated with happy shock.
''dunno'', said CC, ''but its bloody brill isnt it?''
''lets go down there, lets explore,now, this minute, before I wake up'' whispered Amarie, ''come on, get dressed Norc!''
They all filed out through the house, which had looked normal enough from the inside, but on closer inspection there were no electrical appliances or mod-cons, no running water, no sinks, no bathrooms for that matter. The person who had woken Norc seemed to have disappeared. In fact they hadnt actually seen any of the inhabitants of this town yet. Norc wondered where they had got to. she hoped they werent alone, she hoped they were friendly.

Have no idea where this going. What about something predictable, Mrs Figg? {{{You know, something for the older more staid reader...}}}

Minas Tyrn.

The door to the garden courtyard stood half open. A slightly tangy smell of damp cellar air and then it was like breathing in perfume as they stepped into the sunlight.
Norc blinked in the sparkling sharp light. where to now?
In silence they walked through the garden, their eyes adjusting and taking it all in. maybe they didnt want to break the spell. Bells sounded in the distance, and outside the garden came the sound hurrying tramping feet in the lane beyond. Norc recognized the voice of one of the men. It was Petty.
''Petty is that you?'' she called.
''Aye aye its us, thank goodness we found you, wheer are ye lassie?''
''In this garden'' said Azriel, ''can you find a door?''
They all hurried over to a garden gate, and opened the lane door.
There was Petty slightly glowing in the unacustomed heat, and Orwell, Eldo, Halfy, Dave, Lance and Chris, and two newcomers Norc didnt recognize well, Raddy and RA.
''flipping heck, heres half of Svalfart'' said CC
''yeah you brought the Order of the Phoenix or what?'' said Figgs staring at the boys milling around.
''how many of us, 13? ha ha that reminds me of something, but I cant think what'' laughed Eldo.
''shut it'' said Norc
''now now thats no way to talk to your fiance'' said Lance.
''shut it Lance'' said Norc matter-of-factly.
''ok'' said Lance with a grin.'' do they sell Ribena? I'm thirsty''.

"There was Petty slightly glowing in the unacustomed heat"

I do too!

''ok'' said Lance with a grin.'' do they sell Ribena? I'm thirsty''.

I like how you have captured the seriousness with which I treat Norc's insults/profanities.