what sort of jokes can I get away with?
+10
Mrs Figg
chris63
Orwell
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Pettytyrant101
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14 posters
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by azriel Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:23 pm
Yeah, I see it as compensation for having Victoria as his wife. Good joke,by the way Chris ! 
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by azriel Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:02 pm
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Eldorion Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:17 pm
I'm actually a little curious about the original context for that photo, but it might be for the best if that secret is never revealed.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Pettytyrant101 Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:38 am
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by azriel Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:26 am
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by halfwise Sat Feb 02, 2013 2:49 pm
Eldorion wrote:
I'm actually a little curious about the original context for that photo, but it might be for the best if that secret is never revealed.
There does appear to be an unseemly air of...er...anticipation about it....
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by chris63 Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:39 am
Got any grapes.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by chris63 Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:42 am
Funny
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Norc Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:55 am
have you seen madagascar lately chris 
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Norc Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:51 pm
how to make holy water.
- Spoiler:
- take ordinary water and boil the hell out of it.
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Pettytyrant101 Tue Feb 05, 2013 7:04 pm
Im pretty sure Eldo shouldn't be able to get away with this banner joke. 
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Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Mrs Figg Tue Feb 05, 2013 7:07 pm
Petty youll get us another day of the wretched thing. shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by azriel Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:56 pm
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the small animals. The big animals were crushing small animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
"Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
"Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
_________________
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Pettytyrant101 Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:58 pm
_________________
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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Eldorion Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:59 pm
Quick, someone take a photo, Petty's laughing at an American football joke!
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by Pettytyrant101 Tue Feb 05, 2013 9:08 pm
At it with it- all the same to me. 
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with?
by chris63 Tue Feb 05, 2013 9:47 pm
Very funny. BIG lol
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