Lord of the Rings Humour: Parodies, Satires and More

Not sure whether i'v seen the cover before, but i like it.

I'm sexy and a Hobbit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nPLjZnwxvPo#!

That's a Forumshire hobbit for sure!

LOTR's alphabet

chris63 wrote:I'm sexy and a Hobbit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nPLjZnwxvPo#!

HAHA, first time I'm glad I take german in school xD

By Eru I hate that speech. Just awful faux-Tolkien gobbldegook. I am quite sure Tolkien would rather have gnawed his own hand off than write it. (Hell I'd rather I'd had my ears gnawed off than had to listen to it, I was trying very hard not to laugh a lot during this bit of the film- especially after the speech when Aragorn's military genius is revealed with his let them completely surround me on flat ground tactic, then instead of doing the only defensive tactic left under those circumstances- circle in with a 3 or 4 man deep shield wall (as Isildur did at Gladden Fields) Aragorn- breaks ranks and charges- charges a circle? What?! The orcs and trolls should have been going home for tea and cakes 2 minutes after that desicion -job done.
Funny pic though!

Well I thought it was cool. I would have followed Aragorn, silly military tactics and all.

And then you would have died horribly shortly afterwards with the certain knowledge your new King turns out to have all the military skills of a stawberry blamanche.

Live fast, die young, leave an axe ridden body, but a smile on the face. For Frodooooooooooooo! yeah! Thats a good way to go.

All very well Mrs Figg (and flippant! ) but there is a more serious aspect to it. We are expected to believe in the film, as in the book, that Aragorn is tricking Sauron into thinking he has seized the Ring and is making a bold, but too soon claim. (Although I admit PJ doesnt make this terribly clear but what do you expect of PJ- he does make clear it is a trick though to draw out the Eye and away from Frodo)- yet PJ presents the whole thing for added 'drama' as a suicide mission and they act like its a suicide mission throughout.
Now Sauron looking at what happens in the film would have been much more likely to go 'mm that seems like a divertion tactic to me, what are they trying to divert me from then I wonder?'
In the book they make it look good, Aragorn takes not just the banner of the Kings with him but under it the banners of other lords, Rohan and Dol Amroth principly demonstrating that he has been accepted by all as King, they array their defences on three hills under each banner so they have at least a chance.
What PJ gives us as usual doesn't actually make much sense when you stop and think about it.

Well you dont have the time to stop and think about it during the film do you? Its only sitting in front of the dvd that you have the luxury of saying it doesnt make sense. I didnt notice it then and I dont notice it now. and I dont really care to be honest about the military accuracy, not having studied the tactics of war, I have no idea whether it was a suicide mission or not. It did a fantastic job of showing the odds they were facing and their desperate plight, and thats good enough for me.

Well I noticed first watch and more its PJ's bloody fault I noticed as he does a high panning out shot to show you their little group huddled in the middle completely encircled. Soon as I saw that its obvious if the end game is to last as long as possible to give Frodo the maximum chance (as PJ states it is) then bunkering in behind shield walls is the only possible defence. Breaking rank and charging at any one point in a closing encircling massively outnumbering you foe is madness and would be very shortlived- completely undermining the supposed point of them being there at all. Which for me put the, by then, about the 100th final nail in the coffin of world credibility.

Totally excellent point Petty. In the book they do indeed form a shield wall and Aragorn appears to spend most of his time behind it brooding or playing jack-knives or whatever.

But directors are famous for knowing the difference between movie sense and logic. In Raiders of the Lost Ark you see an enemy submarine with Indiana Jones outside it, then you see a map of the submarine going globe-hopping under water, then you see it docked with Indiana Jones outside it again. Spielberg purportedly did that as a private joke because he knew the audience for the most part wouldn't catch it, and those that did would appreciate the joke.

Not saying that's what PJ was doing here, just that directors spend less time worrying about the reality of situations than an author might. And they know it.

The battle before the Black Gates didnt have the same screentime as say Helms Deep, where tactics and warfare was more detailed, the Gate Battle was relatively quickly shown and was all about reaction shots of the main characters, and how they saw the overthrowing of Sauron. Anything else was superflous. It showed each of their individual inner battles with despair, hope, fear, courage, it was the emotions that mattered most not technical stuff. well thats how I see it anyway.

I dont see how it would have taken anymore time to have had a more realistic account of it. PJ cuts to the men all lined up outside the Black Gate- why could he not have cut to a shot of them lined up the three seperate hills under their banners (ok he leaves out Dol Amroth, but he could have used the Rohan flag for Eomers lot and of course the White Tree for Aragorns men)- it would have taken no time to show at all.
Apart from anything else the shots at the Black Gate dont even match the shots of the same place from when Frodo is there- where is the big pinnacle of rock Sam and Frodo are on observing the gate from? Its a hige flat open plain by the time Aragorn turns up.
And I think them being encircled on the hills and the enemy closing in and swarming all around them visually shows the desperation of their situation better than the messy battle PJ actually give us.

PJ didnt show them on the surrounding hills because how he showed them, before the Gate, looks better aesthetically, its more dramatic and is more immediate, its stuff that Directors do and I dont have a problem with it, no, I think its great stuff.

The three hills were before the Gate. There ould be no change in the position of where they are or the distance from the Gate to make it closer to the book- the only difference would be the men would be arrayed defencively on three low hills rather than all in a pointless clump on a flat plain, which visually is a lot less interesting.
If I had to guess I would say that section was filmed in a bit of a rush more than anything else, it has a thrown together feel about it, not helped by the fact it is a reediting of a different ending (in which Sauron comes out to fight).

I think the emotion that they were trying to convey wasnt anything to do with tactics, deployment or winning the prize for most effective arraying of forces, but a last desperate stand before Saurons overwhelming odds. They looked far braver and couragous standing before the Black Gate like a lamb to the slaughter than hiding behind ramparts in the hills. It was, at a glance obvious to the audience they were making a last great stand, they knew it was hopeless but did it anyway.

Another picture from Joe-gilronan



Road to Rivindell.

"It was, at a glance obvious to the audience they were making a last great stand"- Mrs Figg

That is rather my point, obvious to Sauron too and therefore as ruses go a bit hopeless.
And they would not have been behind ramparts on hills, they arrayed the defence on three hills of slag, they would have had a shield wall though.

You seem to be missing my point, they were making a last stand, they were a juicy bait, it was meant to be obvious to Sauron, the whole point was to draw him out and take his attention away from Frodo, which worked a treat. Farting about on hills was no use at all, it would have delayed the inevitable by very little seeing as Sauron had vast armies probably outside the Gate as well as in. Plus they werent sure if Frodo was even alive or captured, Aragorn probably thought that if this was the end, they may as well go out with some dignity, head on and defiant, better to meet him before the gate than in dribs and drabs in the hills.

No the point was to draw Saurons eye by making him think the new Ring Lord was being overconfident- and more importantly to keep Sauron occupied for as long as possible looking away from his own lands- a brief suicidal charge is not going to achieve that and PJ explicitly states they are only doing it at all to give Frodo time to cross Gorgoroth.
And I am not saying anytime shoudl be spent explaining the defence just that when PJ cuts to that scene the men should be at least defencively arrayed and some nod to realism should be present given realism, particularly in military tactics is one of the things Tolkien is detailed and immaculate on, he puts an awful lot of work into creating a sense of reality to the battles which PJ, as the supposed adaptor should have payed some heed to at least. Instead he undermines it at every turn.

Well, it was PJ's film and he could do whatever he wanted, Petty, and he did. The book was only relevant as a 'drawcard' to get an audience in. Respect for Tolkien was never the point. PJ's vanity and profit for he and his backers were always the point. Come on, Petty, you knew that!