Respectability

Oh Ally - you are intelligent and capable (but I'm not sure about 'adult' though - Forumshire has no place for such concepts! )

Orwell wrote:Oh Ally - you are intelligent and capable (but I'm not sure about 'adult' though - Forumshire has no place for such concepts! )

Oh no. I'm quite sure there's nothing 'adult' about Forumshire...especially the police force...

How dare you not take the Force seriously! By implication, you're saying you don't take me seriously!

Orwell wrote:How dare you not take the Force seriously! By implication, you're saying you don't take me seriously!

Did I hurt your feelings, gorgeous?

"Hurt my feelings"...? ... gorgeous...? ... Of course not! {{{}}}

Orwell wrote:"Hurt my feelings"...? ... gorgeous...? ... Of course not! {{{}}}

You need to lose weight.

Orwell there must be some serious mould blooms in all that pvc.









{{{...won't some noble knight-hobbit rescue me...?}}}

Now --- considering Orwell's trapped in your internal workings (or posts, or some-such-thing) Mrs Figg, I feel you shoud be a bit more charitable - even if we are indeed talking about that painful pompous middleaged twit, Orwell McOdo...

Now - if you don't mind checking back to the original posts that Orwell (yes, rudely!) popped into, you might examine your own behavior - and yes, I know you're married to that Tuscan guy! - and yet, nonetheless, you shouldn't be doing those.. err... marital-type things in front of a troubled hobbit-lad/lass trapped there with you... hiding behind your couch I believe...

Decorum, Mrs Figg (or was that Mrs Figgaro?) - decorum!

I would escape if I could -- ouch! Leave off with my ear will you!

{{{Dear Ms Amarie and Mr Tyrant,

I am sending you this Confidential letter in my own italics, and trusting on your utter discretion. I am on the horns of a dilemna. You see, Mrs McOdo has been asking after Orwell, as he has not come home lately. I have had to tell her a few choice lies in regard to that because: "Never mind, Mrs McOdo, Orwell is fine and well, and will come home eventually, I'm sure, the moment , in fact, he extracts himself from Mrs Figg's Internal Workings", just won't do, I fear.

Now, I've told Mrs McOdo that I've hired her husband as a Special Contractor and sent him off to Perestroika (in the far north-east, if you don't know it, beyond Fjordianlandia) on business, but I don't know how long I can maintain the ruse. It pains me to have to distort the truth like this, for as you know, I am a straightforward and honest hobbit by nature, but I feel honour bound to protect Orwell, as he has performed certain ... err... dare I say 'delicate' tasks for me in the past, and might be prepared to talk about them... and surely you wouldn't want that to happen, you being Respectable Moderators and all... and all...

Anyway, can you not do something to save Orwell? As a personal favour to me, what? Put it a little Higher on your Moderator To-do's List, your humble servant, mmm?

NB Actually, I fear that Figg woman will do him a mischief if she has him in her feminine clutches much longer... If not her, her fiery Tuscan husband.

Hope you can help,
Odo R. Banks, esquire.}}}

Dont worry accountants arent generally fiery, but its always the quiet ones that wreak havoc, so I hope the powers-that-be take pity and extract Orwell from my bits.

I am trying my best Figgy. The female mind can be a dangerous place, and Orwell has only been a girl for a few days. He wouldn't know what to and might actually try to... heaven forbid... MULTI-TASK or something!

{{{Dear mr Odo,

I am glad you brought this matter to our attention. At least to my attention, Petty has the attention span of a goldfish. I feel obligated to help the ladies and will do my best to do so. And by ladies I mean Mrs Figg and Mrs McOdo, certainly not mr... miss... mz.. Orwell. His behaviour is certainly not ladylike.

l think it would take the the healing powers of the Admin to return Orwell to him old self though, you might want to gently inform mrs McOdo that Perestroika can really change a man... but on the bright side: there might be less arguments on what to to see on the PalanTirVision. Unless their kids are there too, of course.

Respectably yours,

Amarië }}}

{{{Dear Ms Amarie,

While finding myself quite unprepared to see Mrs Figg's name mentioned in the same sentence as "Lady", I am still gratified by your response. For all that, I suspect there is more 'good intention' than 'life-saving action' implicit in it. Sadly, it appears - quite clearly for all your tact on the matter - that an early rescue is not predicted, or is at least 'uncertain', but I'm made a little hopeful by the knowledge that you are at least 'thinking' about doing something of a practical nature --- if 'practical' is a word that rests comfortably in any reference to Lord Eldo.

As to the question of Mr Orwell McOdo's femininity (naive or otherwise), I am in no position to judge, at all, at all. Though suggesting - as I think you might be - that I should tell Mrs McOdo that her husband has undergone a change of sex during a Perestroikan Business trip may not actually be the best idea, as I'm sure it will give her no real cause for rejoicing!

Your comment on Mr Tyrant, of course, is precise to say the least.

Wishing you all Eruspeed,
Odo R. Banks, esquire}}}

oh dear oh dear! History seems to be repeating itself, you know like when King Richard went off to chase birds in the campus library and Prince John and the peasants got up to all sorts of tricks. Lord Eldo has gone observing the wildlife and communicating with outlandish Wildings and Orwell has tried to exert his new found powers, abused them shamefully, and has rustled the bustle of 'Lady'. yes 'Lady' Marion Von Figg. Nothing good ever comes from absentee Lordlings, theres a power vacumm, oh its all very Game of Thrones. (((((I might have to try the weasel in a hot pot torture to extract him. Halfwise knows the proceedure methinks)))))

Never fear Mrs Figg! I have escaped!

It's a miracle -- a miracle I say! A miracle as revealed on the Richmond Football Club Thread! A MIRACLE I sez!

I shall sleep soundly tonight... (After I manage to explain to Mrs McOdo that she is married to a Lesbian, of course! Mmm.... that could be a cause for some ... issues.. I guess... ... ... Maybe I'll just pop back in there with you, Mrs Figg... )

It wasnt THAT bad under my bustle!






Hi - here I am! Now - what's for dinner, Mrs Figg...? And do I have to have all my meals in your bustle?
Gotcha! Now move over, I need comfort food. If it really was Figg's dinner plans I saw earlier then it's worth hanging around for. Hope Figg doesn't mind. *nudge nudge* Get it?

What! Orwell, you wretch.... You went back.... and after all the efforts Ms Amarie thought about considering to make on your behalf!

What?! I have been running around all day to locate Orwell, I just don't leave dirty footsteps like (s)he does so it doesn't show. I tread softly because I tread on her dreams. Figg's dreams that is.

I am so unappreciated.

well I appreciate you!, but these hybrids are a bit flighty theyve got the attention spans of fruit flies, ladyboy hormones make them skittish and prone to be a bit lax in the politeness area towards Moderators. They see shiny plastic shoes and their little brains go doolally.









{{Petty! .... Is that you? ... Amarie? Someone light another candle! Hey you, let me have a better look at you... }}}

{{EEP, careful there, don't burn my hair! Listen now, girl talk time. I even brought chocolates! You can't keep running about inside Figgy. It's just not right. No one should ever be allowed to mess about with people's thoughts, especially not here among the free spirits. This is a very beautiful mind, so wonderfully arty farty! But we are suppose to admire from the outside.
Come now, let's go.

Also I think you got egg tempura on your shoes. That'll stain pretty good if you don't get out of here and clean it up properly. }}}

What a terribly disrespectable business as is happening!

I think I need to begin an investigation into "Inappropriate use of Moderation Powers", Uncle Odo. I think it's somewhere in our book of Unwritten Rules somewhere. It at least seems UnEruvian...

My gravest fear is that it might become only all too passé in no time at all...

Patent potential for particular peurality!
Orwell's in Mrs Figg's bustle
with Amarie, and he in female form,
all feminine - without his muscles;

soft he is, or should I say 'she'?
how lovely, rounded, curvaceous,
and Amarie - with her chocolate box -
it can only end lascivious!

Mrs Figg! How dare she hire out,
her bustle - meant for Ladies! -
oh how can she attend her Fine Art Shows,
carrying such lascivious babies!

As always when trouble's afoot,
our Eldo hides inside his tower -
playing Computer Games, no doubt,
or watching Austin Powers!

And what of the Kilted One -
you know! no need to name him! -
He's bounding through the heather (no doubt)
- and, frankly, who can blame him?

The Ode of Interpostal Lesbian Sensuality (in a bustle), and One of them an older 'obbit Lad trapped (possibly voluntarily) in a Young Woman's Body" by Lord Byron (who else?)

Wisey Banks

Wisey Banks wrote:Patent potential for particular peurality!
Orwell's in Mrs Figg's bustle
with Amarie, and he in female form,
all feminine - without his muscles;

soft he is, or should I say 'she'?
how lovely, rounded, curvaceous,
and Amarie - with her chocolate box -
it can only end lascivious!

Mrs Figg! How dare she hire out,
her bustle - meant for Ladies! -
oh how can she attend her Fine Art Shows,
carrying such lascivious babies!

As always when trouble's afoot,
our Eldo hides inside his tower -
playing Computer Games, no doubt,
or watching Austin Powers!

And what of the Kilted One -
you know! no need to name him! -
He's bounding through the heather (no doubt)
- and, frankly, who can blame him?

The Ode of Interpostal Lesbian Sensuality (in a bustle), and One of them an older 'obbit Lad trapped (possibly voluntarily) in a Young Woman's Body" by Lord Byron (who else?)

Wisey Banks

This is such a great poem