Agent Nora and The Were-River of Destiny

It was Summer in Svalfart and hot and sunny. It was Nora's day off so she decided to go window shopping for new lighter clothes. The town was full of folk all sauntering around enjoying the warmth and eating icecream. Nora felt a bit prickly and sticky, so she took her jacket off and went into the local boutique looking for a nice dress to wear. Eldo liked her looking feminine, he was a bit old fashioned in a good way and liked girls to look like girls and not hard faced poor relations of the Kardashians. Nora purchased a sweet flowery mini dress and walked out pleased at the thought she could wear it that night for the cinema, it was The Hobbit part 2 and she needed something to take Eldos mind off the whole Tauriel /Thorin hot romance travesty.
The heat hit her in the face like the opening an oven door, the coolness of the air conditioned shop chilled her back. She thought it must have been the heat haze, or some optical illusion, for outside in the narrow street, there was a waverig shimmering heat haze. But the really odd thing, and the thing that made her stop in surprise and utter "Flippin heck!". was that the shimmering seemed to be outside each shop, and the shapes within the shimmering were human.

Now in Svalfart odd things tended to happen at regular intervals, so Nora was used to the unexpected, but she had never felt actually in any danger before. But this time was different. She felt something very odd indeed had or was just going to happen to her, a kind of shudder overcame her and goosebumps covered her arms and neck. Outside the shop she had just exited was a shape, a shimmering transparent swirly. Nora. It hovered outside the shop as if waiting, waiting for Nora. She stepped toward it half afraid and half curious, and I mean really really curious Dear Reader. She put out a finger tentatively trying to feel what manner of sustance it was. Was it smoke?, was it heat shimmer?, or was it?........ it disappeared......into Nora.
It wasnt painful, and she didnt feel much different. But she did strangely feel happier. She walked down the street looking closely at the shapes as she passed. She recognized some of them as being people she knew.

creeepy

She passed the ladies lingerie shop and there outside as if lurking with intent was the shimmery swirly Orwellian. She looked in the window and sure enough there was Orwell himself fingering some pink ribboned frillies, he looked up sheepishly and grinned. He left the shop pretty sharpish as if someone had given him a rocket up the bum and looked first blinkingly at Nora and then at the apparition flickering palely before him, "Hey thats me", he said. "Why is a bit of me here?". "I dont know", said Nora a bit worried, "I mean its not a trick of the heat or anything is it?", "N no I dont think it can be, its weird though", "It certainly is" said Nora fervently, "this time its very weird indeed". They both watched with fascinated amazement as they saw people leaving shops to be met and joined back with their waiting shadows. It seemed easier to call them shadows as it was the only logical point of reference they had.
Back at the station Nora and Orwellian decided to hold a meeting with their most trusted friends in the Force. They sat round the table DI Petty, Eldo, Ringo, Biffo and Orwellian. Most important was to find out what the shadows were and if they were harmful in amy way. DI Petty said he thought from reports coming in, that it was only the shops with the strange waiting shadows, it didnt seem to be schools, libraries, hospitals or religious buildings, it was definately only commercial premises involved. "Well thats bizarre in itself" said Ringo, "I mean, its as if the shadow things are afraid to go in shops". "yeah" said Nora, the bizarreness is 7.5 on the weirdscale.

It was a lovely summer day and the town only faintly whiffed of herring, the Sea breeze was fresh and tangy, and seagulls wheeled overhead in a lapis sky. As the days got brighter, the shimmery shadows got fainter and harder to detect in the general glare of the sun. But they were still there. As they didnt seem to actually do anything other than wait, no action was taken, and a kind of watching waiting game was played on both sides.
One day Nora bumped into Chris and Halfwise who were lolling outside the caffe garden and cooling down with iced teas. They got chatting about the shadows and as both Chris and Halfwise were honoury members of the Lore Master Council they put forth their theories about the strange shadows.
"You know Nora", said Chris, "That Svalfart is built on an ancient River, it runs under the town, actually directly under the commercial district, and is said to be as black as night and as cold as the dark side of the Moon", "It is said that if you touch its waters you will never be the same again. "You mean under our town we have some kind of Buffyesque River Styx vortex thingy?" said Nora startled. "er No", said Halfwise, "Its a bit more benevolent and subtle than that, so you can stand down the wooden stakes and stuff.

Nora had asked Orwellian to go with her to find the River, he was used to poking around in the dark and putrid being a pathologist, she had decided that the River was the root of all the shadows and she was convinced that if she found it that all would become clear. The entrance to the River was indeed dark and smelly, and slimy with leaf mould and discarded kitchen appliances. Through some iron gates, down some steep steps and under the ground, swirling rushing water could be heard. A strange and pungent stagnant water smell assailed their noses. Orwellian was used to smells, but Nora found it hard not to gag, and held a hanky to her nose. They decended the steps and it got darker and darker, and they switched on their miners lamps on their hats. They were in a cave, very steep sided and down the middle ran a black River, inky black and fast flowing. Nora shivered, it was icy cold and her breath clouded before her and the only noise was the water gurgling and bubbling past their feet.

As they progressed the sounds around them changed subtly, it got more echoing and turning a torch upwards Nora let out a OOOOhhh!. They were in a vast cave, the top of it looked at least the size of a 6 story building, there were strange fluted stalegtites and stalegmites all around and they walked cautiously down the sandy path. In the dim darkness little pin pricks of light could be seen, it looked like a starry night, but it was sunlight shining through blowholes in the cave roof. A strange sighing could be heard and eddying breezes touched their faces like caresses. It was the distant Sea they could hear and this was confirmed by a salty taste to the lips. The River bubbled and flowed by the side of the path, and in the sable depths there were stars that rippled and flashed.
Nora felt strange, like someone was following behind them, but when she turned quickly to see who or what was there, only the empty darkness was there. Orwellian was unusually quiet as if he too was awed by the place, Nora was sure he hadnt wanted to worry her with his misgivings.

They walked on their feet strangely dragging, and their ears started to pop, they had the pressure feeling you get before a storm breaks. Up ahead looked like the epicentre of the weirdness, little blue flames were dancing on the water like will o the wisps, as if the water was oil. There was a sighing noise and a whooshing as if a great wind was rushing toward them, Nora had just enough time to grab onto Orwellian before a rushing screaming wind rushed over them whipping Noras hair about her head like the Lady of shalott. The wind ran past them with incredible force, and whooshed away in an instant down the passage. "Well that was a bit breezy" laughed orwell, dispelling the tension in an instant. They both giggled and Orwell made a few predictable fart jokes to put them at ease. They turned round to go back.
..and nearly fell over with shock.

a... is it... is it a... a ... balrog?

ooooh! dont put ideas in my head, but no it aint a Balrog

No Dear Reader, it wasnt the Bolrog of Morgoth or even an orc with a bad case of Delhi Belly, in the centre of the Hall like cavern was a broiling vortex, its feet were in the River and it stretched up to the roof of the cave in a kaleidoscopic swirling mass of everchanging colours and shapes. Within the vortex shapes could be seen, human shades and glowing transparent figures all twirling and dancing within the wind. It was beautiful to look at but there was something sad too, the figures seemed to be struggling and questing, trying to break free one moment and the next moment seemed to be content to just float. They both stood there rooted to the spot, their minds trying to reach some logical explaination for what they were witnessing.
Orwell was the first to move, he took Noras unresisting arm and pulled her away, she seemed transfixed she didnt want to look away, but something told her that this was something private and wasnt meant to be witnessed by casual observers. They turned and left the Hall with its silent dancers.

....and.... then....

Mixing with things, Mrs Figg.... I like it!

So then you left and never came back and never found out what it was..??!!

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO TO US?

Oh, you are a cruel one, you are, Miss Figgy. A real tease.

Fear not Dear Halfwise, its coming to a head and popping very soon.

Orwell and Nora staggered into the light blinking and squinting, they headed for the pub. "phew" said Orwell, "I need something strong to grab me by the short and curlies after THAT experience said Bilbo to Tauriel". Orwell giggled and then trailed off with a dismal little cough, he could see that Nora was in no mood for his naughtyness. Nora was staring ahead silently contemplating Biffo eating pub nibbles and spitting out the legs into the ashtray looking more and more like a Pukel man than usual. "Orwell? mused Nora. "yes my little Agent provocateur" said Orwell, "what the flamin eck was that we saw, I mean it wasnt". and here she shuddered. "Souls, was it?". Orwell stared at her in mock horror as being a pathologist had made him rather pragmatic the only souls he saw were generally a bit whiffy and hairy with the odd ingrown toenail thrown in for good measure. "Nah" he said, its probably just heat haze".
"We need to ask the Lore Masters at their Beige Council Tonight", she said with decision, "Someone is bound to know whats going on or at least give us a few annoyingly cryptic sound bites".
The Beige Council was held over LeeLee and Amarie's Caffe, the room was low beamed and filled with squishy bean bags that made you spill your tea when you sat on them and it was stuffy and hot. Nora and Orwell shuffled in at the back and waited for Halfwise to take the minutes from the last meeting. They were discussing militery strategy PJ employed in the film before the Black Gate. Nora was bored rigid after the first five minutes, Oh even my nostril hair is curling up with tedium, I wish they would bloody well give over. she thought with irritation. At last after what seemed like the full Third Age with supplimentary appendices, they stopped for a break with sticky buns and tea and Nora had the chance to ask them all what they thought of the vortex thingy in the cave.

As soon as she had blurted out what she and Orwell had found there was a silence in the room. Ten pairs of owlish eyes stared at her and slowly blinked in the half light. She felt she was being examined by some bookish chapter of the Spanish Inquisition without the Water Boarding or nipple tweeking obviously. There was an uneasy shifting in the bean bags and a repositioning of tea cups in laps. Someone hehemmed! from the back and LoreMaster Chris got to his feet and shed quite a few biscuit crumbs onto Halfwise's head. "We know what the vortex is Agent Nora", he said quietly, "and its best if this time the Police dont investigate further, its slightly out of your field of experience" he said kindly but firmly. DI Eldo who had been listening from the back, stepped forward, he didnt look like a man who would give up an interesting and challenging case without a good reason. "If you know anything LoreMasters" he said sternly, "I think its in the towns interest to inform us". There was a short murmering debate amongst the Council, and then Halfwise stood up, half lost his balance and tipped the remnants of his tea in Chris's lap. "Oops sorry old chap", he said as if to say, That will teach you to shower my nut with crumbs. "If you want answers" he said, "I suggest to ask our most cryptic member Elthir", he's bound to give you a nudge in the right direction".

Oooh... a Lore Masterish ending coming up? Talk about tantalizing...

{{{Mrs Figg, what a risk you take. A Lore Masterish ending, how very dull that has to be! }}}

Just you wait Orwell I could have you do things with Jammy Dodgers that would make your eyes bulge so watch it!

If they're anything like Lamingtons, I've already done it!

At least its soft!

Not the way I make 'em!

anyway where was I? oh yes, hehum! Elthir stood up and stared at them with a half smile. Here it comes, thought Nora. and come it did.
"Look to the Gray Havens", he said simply and without the slightest bit of embarrasment. There was a stunned silence and then little flurries of murmering could be heard dotted around the hall. Everytime Nora turned to look who was doing the irritating murmering, it stopped, and started up in another part of the room. Well this is annoying, she thought, flamin Loremasters, always slippery customers.
Eldo, Orwell and Nora went back to the station as they were still on duty. "Gray Havens, isnt that Hobbit heaven or something?" said Orwell. "and what has it got to do with the Shadows?
They decided to ask Amarie and LeeLee, as the ladies were Elven loremistresses, and seemed to have an uncanny affinity to the pointy eared ones. They looked at each other as if asking each other for permission to divulge deep knowledge, Nora had the distinct impression they could mind read, so she tried to think of sausages, so that they wouldnt know she was actually thinking of Orwell playing naked tag in the offices and running round going, "chase me, chase me!" to all and sundry.

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I'm not sure I'm at all comfortable being portrayed as a sex object, Mrs Figg.

And I have no idea what the significance of the picture is... are you going all esoteric on us?

{{{Bloomin' heck, I thought one Esoterican - Ally - was bad enough. }}}

LeeLee and Amarie told them to follow and took them to a little attic room at the top of the house. The room was quite bare, as bare as... no stop.. dont think of Orwell's pert.... no.. Sausages! Sausages!..... It was bare apart from a large painting on one wall, the light from a dusty window played shifting glimmers on its surface, and the silver stars seemed to become like a window onto a starry night. It showed a medieval man, he was gazing with astonishment and wonder at a wondrous sight. Half his body was in his own world and his head and shoulders were in another. He had found a doorway between two worlds, he had pierced the invisible membrane that divides us forever from heaven.
"wobbling wombats" whispered Orwell, "thats a bit eso..escoterick, er weird", he said, "what does it MEAN?, I hate flim flamming wishy washy airy fairy twisty turny saccharine sugar balls". "yeah, me too", said Eldo, "just give us the meat and spare us the gravy".
"Oh alright" said Amarie a bit put out. "I wanted to maintain the atmos of mystery for a bit longer, you guys are real party poopers you know".
"I cant stand the suspenders any longer" said Nora, "please tell us whats happening, what are the shadows?, what is the vortex?, why are the shadows US?
"think about it" said LeeLee, "you have found what we have been protecting and keeping secret for eons now. There are Parallel universes, you have seen the vortex is a gateway from their world to ours. They look like us because they ARE us. They are us from another world, and sometimes they find their way through the membrane, they are from a planet called Forumshire.

THE END (or is it?)

Party poopers indeed! Just when I get to shine for a bit and be cool and mysterious like Elthir.

Loving this, Figg! You are awesome!