Wedding News

Steady on... I was just coming to make sure you were safe... what with this scary Mrs Figg business.. ... Did you say you wanted my Credit Card? ... Hey! Keep your hands out of my pocket! No, you can't have my credit card... Oh don't start crying on me... Oh alright... I have a terrible fear I'm about to be financially ruined...

If and i say a big IF I am Maiden of Honour, can I have boots made from Mithrill? pointy ones? Someone over at Bree mentioned that they would come in handy for the Reception, the kicking of leery Best Men and curtailing the Speech and such.

Mrs Figg wrote: can I have boots made from Mithrill? pointy ones?

Silver footwear is so much classier than ruby.

And I hope, a little cheaper...

David, I don't suppose... you know... if you see the girls in Hobbiton (yes, they insist on going to the Big Smoke with all it's expensive shoppes to shop in ), you might suggest to them that they might go for 'silver' ones, if that's their thinking. I know Mirabella prefers Gondorion-ruby shoes (like all sensible hobbits do) but they're soo expensive. But if I mention it, they'll think I'm being a cheapskate, I know they will!

I've never known Pretty going cheap when it's someone elses credit card.
She bankrupt the father-in-law at her first wedding.

Err... Odo.. the girls asked me to ask my wife and daughter if they could suggest a few ideas for Wedding-important stuff...

Umm... apparently there are a lot of things to buy --- very expensive things.... Umm... I'll pass on a scroll from the girls at the first opportunity, listing a few 'essentials'... Well, several scrolls - but only one each for each 'type' of essential... Hope you don't mind...

Oh - and it was 27th Century Italian ruby they were looking at for Mrs Figg.... which, of course, must be imported... from the future... Which, of course, requires the expensive hire of a Time Machine --- It's the best ruby though, the best in the Multiverse by all accounts, not just Forumshire - and with an appropriate price-tag on top of Time Machine hire.

My wife and daughter were clear that silver slippers are passe to say the least - and cheap looking...

Err... how do I put this... Cough. ... Mrs Figg, Mirabella asked if you'd be prepared to undergo certain... hmmmh.... respectfully conducted 'tests' to ensure your... err... 'maiden' status, as you seem to dislike the 'Matron' suggestion.. They thought I should ask, as they seem to think - due to our close friendship - that I might ask without giving any offense whatsoever... you know...

Oh dear... dear dear dear...

This smacks of the Spanish Inquisition, when young ladies doodaas were put into question, and then squirrels were put down pants to see who squeaked first. I WILL NOT squeak first. my lips are sealed. I squeaketh not. Does my face look like it squeaks?, face bovvered?, squeak?

Err... umm... does that mean I should send Doctor Doodler with his squirrels - or not?

And you the ladies man too Orwell! Seemed clear enough to me- the lady doesnt squeak the lady is a maid- and no amount of squirrels shall be involved- maybe try her with eels though.

Oh Petty - you always bring the conversation down to such a mucky level...

Anyhow, Pretty and I just got back in from our first foray down the shoppes. We've bought several pairs of shoes for Mrs Figg We had to buy them because, frankly, we couldn't choose with so many pricey shoes to choose from. Sigh..








And... oooh... depending on the outcome with the squirrels...

I must have missed the bit of the conversation that was above mucky somewhere!
ohh my Maw has a pair of those boots Pretty bought her, and Maw's ancient- they'd be perfect for Mrs Figg.

If I may add a thought, girls... Uhh..erm... perhaps we could just buy 'one' of everything you need... I mean, otherwise you might get stuck with things you might never even wear....

Oh Uncle! I see now - you just don't want me EVER to be happy... do you...

I'm not sure if this is the right time, Mirabella, I know you're upset at your Uncle's unacceptable tight arsedness (my wife and daughter told me to pas that on ), but I stumbled upon the best 'silver' slippers I could find in all of Oz... I don't think Mrs Figg would ever go for them... And I wouldn't blame her, to be honest...

Oh Orwell! Why even think to show them to me... They ARE horrid... not at all nice... Not even as nice as the cheapest ruby slippers..

Oops! Sorry, Mirabella!

{{{I wonder where I got this sudden abilitity to upset young ladies with everythng I say and do? Are they confusing me for you, Petty? That could explain it... }}}

Orwell wrote: the best 'silver' slippers I could find in all of Oz

upside down AND backwards

Quite expensive antiques, David. Came over on the First Fleet... Pricey.... Were going to be used in the movie, but too expensive for the Usahobbits of those times. Just as well, don't you think?



{{{Ha! David, visiting from the Serious (after a fashion) Threads, are we? Hmm - David? Not getting slowly sucked into the Forumshire Counter Culture, are we? }}}

You guys, I LOVE Forumshire. I laughed out loud when I looked at this thread.

Oh my... Even famous authors are ridiculing my Wedding now... I wonder, if I ask nicely, if Pretty will stick one of her stilettos in his eye... She'll probably say he's not worth the trouble...but I think he is...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sorry I'm late to the party here! I've been busy in Valinor in the Buckie cellars. In response to your request from earlier Petty, I don't think I can deem the marriage unholy, but I can try something else. I'm still teeter-tottering on the idea of breaking the two ladies up, simply because I understand forbidden love so well, but I can't help but feel obligated to keep the peace, and I don't want you exiled Petty! I'll bring Beren around and, as much as I hate to use him like this, we'll see if either of them changes their minds. }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I could help with both of your hair! I've got the best hairstylists in the world!

Are these the only eye liners I can find in Hobbiton? How on earth will Pretty or I look our best on our special day with such a poor selection of colours?

... and where is that horrid peppermint smell coming from?

And eye makeup --- Hobbiton's got nothing...










... absolutely nothing....