Howdy from Needlehole

Dear Jane,

I'm not sure how to reach you (I can't seem top find the postal address for the Scottish Purist anywhere), so I thought I might try posting here in the hope you might learn of my plight, for I have a dire Love dilemna. The trouble is that I currently have two love interests in my life at the moment; indeed, two hobbits, both of whom I simply adore. I shan't name names, but one is very hirsute and the other is kilted. Now, I'm fully aware of their feelings for me, but surely I can't marry both of them, for in choosing one I shall surely break the heart of the other. What should I do?

yours sincerely,
Confused (Gondor Gaol)

This is an automated message on behalf of the NotP forum surveyor. Your message has been noted and forwarded to NotP. Dear Jane may reply to your letter in the coming Sunday edition. (NotP does not guarantee an accurate rendering of your problem as it reserves the right to alter details for reasons of sensationalism)

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"presumed shaved"

I hope he just lost his internet for a few weeks or something, though, and that nothing serious has happened.

I don't know if you have noticed, but te forum seems to be really quiet at the moment. I go on almost every night (unless i have some boring homework to do) and every isn't going on as much... Thought as you said, ringdrotten, i hope nothing serious has happened to GB

We do get these quiet phases from time to time. But when we need posts to up our google status and get some new folks dropping by its a shame its happening now.
But I think its exam time for Eldo and that is important. And Tin is, um, being a teenager from her posts ( ) inbetween jet setting or something. Odo I think is just snowed under with work and life and hopefully GB is just temporarily inconvenienced by life, and equilibrium will return.
So hold fast young Squach, there's always hobbit-man to play and things will pick up again soon I'm sure. In the meantime those of us who are about just need to keep things ticking over for the others until they return.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:But I think its exam time for Eldo and that is important.

Yeah, I've been buried under piles of essays and applications and research projects. I should have more free time to come here and post now, though, at least until the next crunch time.

Good stuff Eldo. Hope the exams go to plan and offer you a bright future. I kind of fluffed mine- I passed them, just, but I was somewhat distracted at the time by buckie, women and football (had I known that happy mix was not to going to happen so freely ever again I may have indulged even more!!) and consequentially I did no revision whatsoever and just turned up on the day and winged it. So unless you want to end up working in a care home wiping unpleasantness from the elderly for minimum wage study folks!!! (or get a trade)

I did the second half of a maths test today, the one where you're allowed a calculator. However, we weren't warned so i had to share one calculator with the whole of our table. It was really annoying though because this girl on my table, whenever she used the calculator she would slam the keys down really hard and it was sooo annoying that i couldn't concentrate! Now im also annoyed because I know that I got the last question wrong and it was worth, like, three marks or something! I never seem to finish the tests, though everyone tells me i need to manage my time better, but i do! I can't help being a slow writer because i know that 90% of the test i am writing, but i use about 10% of the time to think! I can't not think about the questions im anwsering, can i? Also our lessons are 50mins each, so we get about 45 mins on an hour test! (subtracting the time to write my name, get my pencilcase out my bag etc.)
Sorry to those who read this and got nothing out of it, I'm just venting.

Ahh its so heart warming to see youngsters getting there first proper crabbit attack! Don't apologize for it Squach rant away! The world needs and deserves it every so often.

ok!

Done!

See, bet you feel better already!
And soon, seeing as your on the cusp of teenage-hood, you will learn how to share your crabbitness about, so if your crabbit everyone in your house is crabbit! One of the joys of teenage life (sorry Kafria).

Pettytyrant101 wrote:See, bet you feel better already!
And soon, seeing as your on the cusp of teenage-hood, you will learn how to share your crabbitness about, so if your crabbit everyone in your house is crabbit! One of the joys of teenage life (sorry Kafria).

So at the end of a day of nothing but teenage crabbit being taken out on me for being the nearest adult I am now expected to put up with it at home!!! - not in my house!!

"not in my house!!"- Kafria

Good luck with that!

Go on a much needed family getaway, and when I get home, all THIS on MY thread! Reminds me of those Backfill-Bankses --- left stains everywhere!

Sorry for the mess Odo! But you know how it when you get an empty (not sure what the international colloquialism for an 'empty' is but here it means some poor sods house whose gone away and there place gets used (unknown to them) for Unexpected Parties!)

odo banks wrote:Go on a much needed family getaway, and when I get home, all THIS on MY thread! Reminds me of those Backfill-Bankses --- left stains everywhere!

Glad to have you back

I don't even want to know about the Backfill-Bankses.

Welcome back, Odo!

Hi odo I hope you had a good break and I will throw in a pre-emptive apology for the hijaking of your thread I am about to partake in!!!

Buckie

much needed after a week long subject inspection - internal (head and deputy). No feedback yet, but serious stress head, followed by stress cold (recent news suggests that man flu is stress for men who can't admit stress after all), so the parties at mine!!

Oh and bring some buckie, I've drunk mine

soon!

Odo, I will apologize properly on my mother's behalf. I really am sorry about this. (Beleive me, you havn't got the night with a mad, drunken mother that is getting on your nerves, do you?)

So really, you don't have the worst of it! She is here giggling her head off about nothing. Nothing.

Thanks,
Squach

Kafria and buckie! You know there is no such thing as too many drunk women. And there's a life lesson to live by!

Screw the stress Kafria, the Head, the Deputy, the authorities- you've said enough on here to convince me you both know your job and have a genuine passion for it- that will win you through everytime. So sit back and drink deep.
The pipes they are a calling!

And Squach your lesson from the behaviour of your mother is that humans beings cannot maintain a steady perception of the universe all the time or we go mad, every so often we have to alter our perception by the taking of alcohol or other things, the big question of course is why? Something to ponder.

See buckie + ? =deep thoughts (then falling over, making a fool of yourself, doing at least one thing you will seriously regret when sober, vomiting and terrible hangovers).

Enough is enough! I have sought advice from my Lawyers, Will Getuoff and Associates. Expect correspondence from them any day, you lot! If this behaviour continues, I may sue!

odo banks wrote:Enough is enough! I have sought advice from my Lawyers, Will Getuoff and Associates. Expect correspondence from them any day, you lot! If this behaviour continues, I may sue!

Will Getuoff? Doesn't sound like a respectable lawyer if you ask me. I once had a similar type of lawyer when I was in court. Walter Boarding was his name. One day in the proceedings he didn't even show up. He did send a note though advising me his replacement-to-be. I always thought his name was a bit odd though-Mr Boat it was!

"Knock"
Bugger aff!

Oh yon haggis run, yon haggis leap
They go say well wi' tatties and neeps!

"Knock Knock"

A left ma luve in a Scottish Glen,
Whir she is A dinae ken
She nagged me till a' wis oot ma wits
But by God she hud cracking big...

"Knock Knock"

Oh whit it is, can yi no see wir havin a swallie and a song?
Hey there's two wee Sherriff lasses here? Whit's that doll? Illegal Unexpected Party? Naw, hen. A've bin expecting this wan fur ages. See A got ma buckie in days ago.
Her?Kafria? She's, em, fine, aye, right as rain hen, she's huvin a kip like. Aye, aye does usually sleep like that, upside doon behin' yon big dresser. Bad back ken?
Anyhoo, why di you twa wee Sheriffs burds no jist come own in. We kin gabber aboot all this fuss yon Bankses bin making.
Here huv a wee drap o' this tae warm your yir bones and loosin yer minds.
Braw!!