Merry Christmas - 2017

Ringdrotten wrote:

halfwise wrote:It depends on how you bailed out.  If you didn't tell her why or discuss it then it's classic male stupid behavior.  If you took time to think about it, then talked it over with her, then even if you broke her heart you did the right thing.  One test is whether she put herself in a convent afterwards.  Bad sign of a screwup, that.

At Changi airport at the moment, so again I don't have time to catch up - just wanted to reply to this. I did take my time (maybe too long, even), and told her exactly why and how I felt about it. We are still very good friends, so I guess I did something right after all. Now off to get a free beer in the lounge and prepare for another ten hour flight!

being friends afterwards is actually such a good sign! well done !

So...um, I became quite friendly with a (rather attractive) woman (about a year younger than me) I recently met on my course (not her Eldo btw-I didn't actually get a chance to talk to her yet and my feelings had faded anyway, I get signed off that course on Friday (and I'm starting another one on Monday) so might not see her again, probably for the best considering the stuff I had mentioned, but I'll be sad if we can't keep in contact as friends) who is going through similar issues as me, we get on really well and I did get the feeling she was giving me a few vague signals, on the spur of the moment I asked her if she wanted to hang out as friends soon and she said yes, we've swapped phone numbers and will be hanging out for the day as friends soon.

I don't know her that well yet, but I definitely feel there's some sort of spark between us, I made it clear (I think!? ) this wasn't a formal date, just a bit of fun to hang out as friends going through similar issues,  even if it's just the sparks of a new friendship forming she seems a really cool, kind person, and it will be great to get to know a woman my own age a bit better, I'm not going to read too much into things as we don't know each other that well (though she is just as inexperienced as me when it comes to this stuff...so I'm not entirely sure what she is reading into this... ), and if things do end up eventually going down the dating route I'm going to take each day slowly and as it comes. Either way she seems really cool and I hope we can become closer friends, I'm a bit of anti-social leper to be honest...

So yeah...either I have now made a new friend, or may have accidentally possibly set myself up with a date or perhaps the first leading eventually into the other.

Don't ask me how this happened!

Hard to believe how far my confidence has come in these last few months...the last time I asked a girl to hang out as 'friends' was probably around 11 years ago...

If this doesn't work out very well, at least I can say I've tried right?  

Pretty excited, mildly befuddled and slightly terrified

Wow, I can't believe I actually did this...

Awh !
Great way to start a New Year ! Get your feet on the escalator of good & positive vibes & keep it rolling !

Yeah

As I said, we are just going to hang out as friends (we've only met each other three or four times previously and I'm so insecure/inexperienced with this stuff I'm not entirely sure how to read her response...frankly I shocked myself when I asked her) and I definitely don't want to make any wrong/rushed moves or misinterpret things, but it certainly shows how far my confidence has grown and I can be thankful for that at the very least, regardless she seems really cool and has a great sense of humour, I'm certainly keen to expand my social cricle at the least.

I'll have to wait and see how this develops...

Perhaps my beard is sexier than I thought

malickfan wrote:Yeah

As I said, we are just going to hang out as friends (we've only met each other three or four times previously and I'm so insecure/inexperienced with this stuff I'm not entirely sure how to read her response...frankly I shocked myself when I asked her) and I definitely don't want to make any wrong/rushed moves or misinterpret things, but it certainly shows how far my confidence has grown and I can be thankful for that at the very least, regardless she seems really cool and has a great sense of humour, I'm certainly keen to expand my social cricle at the least.

I'll have to wait and see how this develops...

Good luck, Malick! First time I asked a girl out I got brutally rejected, so I know how terrifying asking a girl out is Don't overthink things beforehand or after, that never leads to anything good in my experience. Just order that coffee and take it from there, I'm thinking you'll have a great day

Ringdrotten wrote:

malickfan wrote:Yeah

As I said, we are just going to hang out as friends (we've only met each other three or four times previously and I'm so insecure/inexperienced with this stuff I'm not entirely sure how to read her response...frankly I shocked myself when I asked her) and I definitely don't want to make any wrong/rushed moves or misinterpret things, but it certainly shows how far my confidence has grown and I can be thankful for that at the very least, regardless she seems really cool and has a great sense of humour, I'm certainly keen to expand my social cricle at the least.

I'll have to wait and see how this develops...

Good luck, Malick! First time I asked a girl out I got brutally rejected, so I know how terrifying asking a girl out is Don't overthink things beforehand or after, that never leads to anything good in my experience. Just order that coffee and take it from there, I'm thinking you'll have a great day

Yeah, I think we are doing the cliched movie and a coffee thing, at this point it's just a casual hanging out as friends thing, but hey it's a start right? Four months ago I would have never got that far....

I think I've only ever actually asked out one person in a unambiguous romantic sense (and it didn't go well), though I've been on the other side of rejection and I know how badly it can hurt someone, I may be inexperienced but I'd like to think I'm now more considerate and thoughtful, there's no harm in taking things slow, and I won't be dissapointed if we just stay as friends.

great news Malick, its very wise of you to take your time to develop a friendship first, after all she may need to trust you as a friend if she is going through a difficult and vulnerable time.

Happy to hear this, Malick, and I hope it goes well for you guys!

Eldorion wrote:Happy to hear this, Malick, and I hope it goes well for you guys!

I hope so too still kinda in a state of shock that I actually did this, I certainly find her attractive (both in personality and appearance) but I'm not planning on making any stupid fast moves, we don't know each other that well, but I felt an instant spark with her and have missed the close personal connection I had from previous friendships with other women, if anything else develops from this then great If not, hey at least I've now got a bit more confidence/experience

Mrs Figg wrote:great news Malick, its very wise of you to take your time to develop a friendship first, after all she may need to trust you as a friend if she is going through a difficult and vulnerable time.

We both have our own issues to deal with, but we are adults and may be able to support each other with them, best to take things slow establish a friendship and figure out what kind of chemistry we actually have before I think about taking things any further-and if I do it will only be if it's a mutual decision by both of us.

...Of course that's assuming this sort of but not really a date actually goes well...

Nicely done!
Whatever you do though, DO NOT HUG! Handshakes always! If she goes in for a hug, leap quickly backwards (ill-advised if near a cliff, but still necessary!) and proffer your hand instead.
Girls like a guy with manners, trust me I know these things. Also refer to her by her last name only until your 7th date.

Hum... what else... Oh! Compliment her on her clean nasal passages. Offer something pithy and light-hearted like, "I see you take good care of your nose hairs, nice trim job!" The nice thing about this sort of compliment is that they never see it coming.

Alright, that about does it. Girlfriend: secured.

Good luck. Since every situation is different the only solid advice I could give you is listen to some Billy Joel.

She's always a woman should be on that list, bungo - or maybe that one's for later?

Later, I'd say. These songs are more "do's and don't's", good general advice.

Good to hear, Malick. Remember the most important thing is simply to relax and have fun together, everything else is secondary whatever things might lead to

Stay cool and listen to Billy Joel.  Can't argue with that advice, Bungo.

lick her face once u meet her. works wonders.

No, don't do that, it reallly doesn't...

Not that I know, ofc

Hell, maybe it works.

It seemed to work for Rick James

bungobaggins wrote:

Ringdrotten wrote:She's always a woman should be on that list, bungo - or maybe that one's for later?

reminds me of FJM, just with less... veneer, shall we say.

Norc wrote:lick her face once u meet her. works wonders.

I think this works for young teenagers and kittens.

Take the day's newspaper & find things in it to talk about

Do not discuss politics. Even if you know you agree on everything. Do not discuss politics.

bungobaggins wrote:Do not discuss politics. Even if you know you agree on everything. Do not discuss politics.

That never works out well online, I wouldn't even think of doing it on a possible date.