what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

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VERY INTERESTING FACTS ! !
Dead Penguins - I never knew this!
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
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"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

{{ Germany are advising people stock up on sausages and cheese during the pandemic. Its called the Wurst Kase scenario! }}

Oh gawd

ffft!

Have to admit that one made me snort out loud.

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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.
I said I didn't even no it could play cricket.

I'm as bothered by the use of the word "bowl" for cricket as I am by people eating hamburgers with forks. "Bowling" is rolling a big heavy ball across the floor. And don't go telling me cricket preceded bowling pins. Can't be bothered with historical trifles.

Geez, Az. Had to look that up. Everyone knows the song, but I think you had to be lively circa WWII to know it was Vera Lynn. I know you're a witch and all....

I got it, but I've played the song a few times recently.

The ferry one was very good.

{{Every Brit would have got it immediatly, Dame Vera Lynn is a legend, and she lived a long life, she was 103 when she passed in 2010- she sung part of her famous song as recently as 2005 for the Queen (who also lived through WW2) to mark the anniversary of VE day. We'll Meet Again is one of the most famous songs in these isles, being pretty much the soundtrack of WW2. }}

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Halfy bowling predates cricket, not your US bowling, but bowling on a lawn, it was big in France too- it could be as early as 500ad (in Germany wher eitmay have originated) but was a historically recorded thing here by time of Henry VIII who banned it in favour of everyone doing archery instead.
There are various types of bowling on a lawn, in some like ten-pin the ball is rolled along the ground, in others (such as favoured by the French) the ball is thrown underarm and then rolls along the ground- so bowling in the sense of throwing the ball probably comes from that version of bowls. Bowls is still a big thing in this part of the world, we've got about half a dozen bowling greens in my small area alone.}}

Stonehenge:

Vera Lynn is largely unknown over here. The song is well known but the singer would only be recognized among those like Forest who might have an ancient collection.