what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

kid wen't to his father and asked,
"Daddy, I fell in love and wan't to date this nice girl"
Father: "That's great son. Who is it?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Oh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise me not to tell your mom Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but life goes on, a couple of months later...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is it?"
Son: "It's Angela, The other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Oh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your" sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
"Mom I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whomever you want. He isn't your father"

I introduced my girlfriend to my family today.

My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.

How did I not see the father-son-mother thing coming?

{{{{ Love em all }}}

cruel but funny

Simon Evans reminds me of Leonard Rossiter, I used to say "one of each" ...when I had 3 children

Simon Evans..

I dug up that interview, and I don't think Simon Evans characterized it fairly at all. It seemed to me that Paxman made it abundantly clear from his questions and expressions that Brand is just a wordy airhead.

I kind of ignored what he said about Brand because he figures slightly above the irritation of having a fly buzz round my ear, it was what he said about revolutions which really made me laugh. coz its true, we as a nation are too fat and x-factored-up to man the barricades.

What does the average Brit or American stand to gain by going to the barricades in the first place? We live in two of the wealthiest countries ever during the most economically productive period in world history, in some of the most free and open political systems ever put into practice (as opposed to those fantasized about by ideologues), with the highest standard of living ever enjoyed by humans thanks to advances in modern agriculture, medicine, and public health.

{{{Also, the current generation of young adults in the developed world is the most educated in history, even if we don't always act like it. }}}

But compared to the generation at work in the 50's, the current generation is horribly underpaid. Who can afford to buy a home anymore? A recent poll trying to find out why people aren't marrying or at least marrying later came down to low income.

So yeah, total productivity is up, but that productivity includes production of new bodies, so the wealth per capita is down. Also more poorly distributed.

I'm not a sourpuss about modern times, more so amazed at the bubble that existed after the WWII.

Eldo I agree in principle but theres a danger in sitting on ones laurels thinking everything that needs to be fought for has already been done. In the UK disabled people have been hounded into suicide by benefits sanctions, mass grooming of children into prostitution, and that's just for starters. the whole problem is the fact nobody gives a shit and would rather sit in front on their comfortable sofa watching tv, but it only takes a missed payment, an accident or losing ones job and the bailiffs are round to throw families out of their homes. young white working class men are now the underclass doing much worse in every aspect of life leading to petty crime and violence. its not all sweetness and pink unicorns you know. the vulnerable still need to fight for survival even in so called advanced nations.

I certainly don't want to imply that I think modern society is perfect and I think Halfwise is right that in some ways we've stepped back from where we were in the decades immediately after WWII, though in other ways such as racial and gender equality I think we've continued to make progress (though there's undoubtedly more we can do there as well). And GDP per capita in the US, even adjusted for inflation, is considerably higher than it was several decades ago. Though that's not really the entire story since our less progressive tax system and greater wealth inequality since the 1970s means that the median and mean have drifted further away from each other.*

http://www.multpl.com/us-real-gdp-per-capita

In any event, I don't think that the sort of problems currently facing develop countries are the kind that are best solved through the violent overthrow of the state. Revolutions like that come with too much of a human cost for me to think them worth advocating in most cases, unless the underlying constitutional arrangements of a given country seem to be standing in the way of improving people's lot in life, which I don't think is the case here. By all means, I think we should strengthen the welfare state again and go back to a more progressive taxation system to fund that (and mitigate the issue of wealth inequality in general). But the most effective examples of such programs that we've seen in the 20th and 21st centuries so far did not come about through violent revolution but through regular political reform.


*It has sometimes been difficult for me, as a young person looking back, to understand why people went along with the dismantling of so much of the post-WWII consensus in the late '70s and the '80s. I do think that proved to be a mistake but there were significant economic issues at the time that required some sort of action. I think ultimately the most damaging thing (at least in the US) wasn't so much Reagan himself but the mythology of Reagan that later GOP politicians tried to imitate: the one that ignored all the tax increases the real Reagan signed, among other things.


EDIT: I guess this is more of a BBS topic; sorry for the Norcing guys.

I think I had in mind a particular lazy mind-set of today rather than actual cheesed-off peasants knitting at the foot of Madame guillotine kind of revolution.

Eldorion wrote: the most effective examples of such programs that we've seen in the 20th and 21st centuries so far did not come about through violent revolution but through regular political reform.

Would we have had Roosevelt and the New Deal if there'd been no Bonus Army? Just a question...

{{IMHO it's been too long since we've had a good Norcing. }}

While I agree that the presence or threat of violent action has played a role in the success of many non-violent protest campaigns, I would categorize the Bonus Army as a form of (more or less) peaceful protest. Peaceful not necessarily meaning passive, of course. Most of the violence came from the government with the justification that the Bonus Army wanted to overthrow the US government but I don't think that's an accurate description of their aims.

I'd agree that the Bonus Army was what we'd now call a nonviolent protest (though before there were terms and rule books for such things) but I'd argue that it was Patton's and MacArthur's use of disproportionate military force against them that was at least partially responsible for the populist wave that put FDR into power. Without the excessive violence, who knows....

I'd agree that heavy-handed responses to civil unrest, whether its peaceful protest or violent insurrection, frequently makes the general population more sympathetic to the protesters/rebels rather than less so.

I'm embarrassed to admit I was unaware of the Bonus Army.  Given the obvious political ramifications (and the way it educated both FDR and Eisenhower) it's a chapter of history that should be known to all Americans.

I think the young people today have a greater chance of changing the world than the last few generations.  It comes from the idealism that has been instilled by a growing PC movement coupled with...well, the naive concept that everything should be as easy as a pc, where you just type something in and it happens.  I get the feeling that the generation that's coming of age is rather outraged when something that they thing should be as simple as a video game is not...and then to their everlasting credit they go about making it so.

I may piss and moan about the many practical skills that have fallen by the wayside (can any kid today multiply 12 x 15 in their heads?), but the sheer talent and idealism I see coming out today makes me comfortable for the future.

As usual, a rude joke from me ................

Spoiler:

A Londoner parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to
show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a
truck came speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the
door before speeding off.

More than a little distraught, the Londoner grabs his mobile and
calls the police.

Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a
chance to ask any questions, the Londoner starts screaming
hysterically:

My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No
matter how
long at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"

After the Londoner finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes
his head in disgust:

I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Londoners are," he
says.

"You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice
anything else in your life."

How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the
Londoner
The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was
torn off when the truck hit you."
The Londoner looks down in absolute horror.........

F?#KING HELL!!!!!!" he screams........ "Where's my Rolex ???

'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.
>Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.