Roll to Dodge!

Ringdrotten wrote: 

Sneak into the purists' camp, steal bungo's mobile meth-lab and drive it to the liberals' camp

 

wut

    

No worries, forest, I didn't realise it would result in that much work - I'll think of something else to do

No that's alright, I do have a solid second program that can make the change fairly easily. It's another intermediate step, but I already have to save two copies of each round and upload one of them to a photo-sharing website, and then get the forum code for that anyway. So I'll manage.
Besides, maybe the meth cooking instruments will catch on fire, exploding the RV and leaving nothing but a crater behind.

Can we shove the Purists in that crater ??? ALL of them ??  

 

I was going to update, but then we're not all quite done submitting (Ahem, Mrs. Figg). So I'm off to make nachos instead! Should be reeeeaaal good, as I got some excellent ingredients today while shopping.
(Sadly, no lettuce or tomatoes, missed both of those as the market was closed and I don't like the supermarket stuff as well. Ah well.)

STEAL FORESTS NACHOS, SIT ON IRON DECKCHAIR, ORDER PURISTS TO GO ON QUEST, DESTROY BO5A BEFORE IT IS RELEASED, BY ANY MEANS.

Purists Vs. Liberals: Round 6
Bungobaggins: Remove flag pole from ground. Whittle the end so it is sharp and pointy and use it to stab Azriel
[1] You tug at the flag pole with both arms but it stays firmly placed in the ground. One of your feet slips on a patch of dewy grass, and you fall forward, impaling yourself!

Azriel: Unknown to Bungo the brainless, Azriel is wearing body armour made of Mithril. Smashes shield over Bungo's head
[4] Although you are not wearing Mithril you do see Bungo the Unfortunate impaled upon the flag pole and, undeterred by your flaming teammate nearby, you bash him over the head with your clay shield.

Pettytyrant: Guddle a fish with my good arm and throw it at Azriel just before Bungo attacks so as to distract her, catching her off guard
[5] Aroused to acts of heroism and fortitude by the sorry state of your fellow Purist, you stick your remaining hand into the water and whip it out grasping hold of a 60-pound (18.14 Kilo) Northern Pike and lob it towards Azriel! It latches on to her with its sharp teeth!

Mrs. Figg: Steal Forest's nachos, sit on iron deckchair, order Purists to go on quest, destroy Battle of the Five Armies by any means before it is released
[3] You do manage to steal a single serving of delicious nachos (despite being on fire), but you can only find an old watering can to sit on. Furthermore, when you finally sit back on the rickety can you don't have enough time to do anything else but daydream about attempts to find grails and what-not. Thankfully, you are able to use the watering can to put out your flaming clothes.

Ringdrotten: Sneak into the purists' camp, steal Bungo's mobile meth-lab and drive it to the liberals' camp
[4] Pushing aside any lingering guilt over the L.A.R.P.er you just murdered, you steal the keys for the RV and drive it noisily across the stream to the Liberals camp. The Purists, in particular Bungobaggins (despite his pained state), do hear you steal away with his prize. In addition, a vague sense of fear begins to fill your mind. Voices in the swaying grass seem to chant, "Armok, Armok." You snoop around inside for any clues.

Round 6:

Edit: I'm not going to fix it, but for now at least the framing seems a bit off on the image. As usual, simply zoom out in your browser to see it better.

just look at that carnage, its a total farce   
Retrieve flag pole, skewer pike, bbq fish over at Ringo's RV,

Finally some success!   

WHILST AZRIEL IS BUSY WITH THE PIKE I STEAL HER WITCHES HAT (WE ALL KNOW SHE HAS ONE!) AND USE ITS MAGICAL PROPERTIES TO HEAL BUNGO (I WAS GOING TO HEAL MYSELF FIRST, BUT, MAGIC WITCHES HAT- THIS MIGHT GO DISASTROUSLY WRONG, SO BUNGO FIRST  )

You crack me up Petty !   I was just saying this with my younger sisters only the other day,  

 

"Pushing aside any lingering guilt over the L.A.R.P.er you just murdered"

   

This is epic, I got the RV


Taste the strange blue stuff Bungo left in the RV

EAT BUNGOS BLUE STUFF THEN MAKE A 150 FT WALL OUT OF NACHOS TO KEEP THE PURISTS OUT OF LIBERALANDIA, MAKE DISSING LOTR TREASON.

Looks like I've been stabbed in the throat. What else can I do but bleed out?

Hmmm, looking at Figgy's post gives me an idea.

Diss the LOTR movies

Well at this rate Azriel may end up barbequing both the Pike and a dissing Bungo!

I would love for my last words to be dissing PJ and all his fuck-ups as I roast on a spit.

IL try not to BBQ you Bungo if you wanna diss Peejers but, I cant promise anything..........  

Purists Vs. Liberals: Round 7
Bungobaggins: Diss the LOTR movies
[4] Despite the recent head trauma, and the obstruction in your throat, you manage to pick apart the inconsistencies of Aragorn's accent throughout the film trilogy. A little blood is coughed up, but the Purists' spirits are bolstered!

Azriel: Retrieve flag pole, skewer pike, bbq fish over at Ringo's RV
[4] You manage to hoist the flag-pole out of the ground, spear it through the Pike's side, and carry the lot over to the RV. As you have no campfire over which to cook it, you hold the stick over some smouldering chemicals that are leaking out from under the RV's door.

Pettytyrant: Whilst Azriel is busy with the pike, steal her witches hat and use its magical properties to heal Bungo, keeping fingers crossed
[4] You snatch the old black hat that Azriel wears beneath her Liberals hat and place it upon your own head. Some tendrils of snaky effervescence sprout forth from your hands and Bungo's throat is healed! He falls from the Flag-pole, the nearby chemicals having made him slow and nauseous.

Mrs. Figg: Eat Bungo's blue stuff, then make a 15 Ft. wall out of nachos to keep the purists out of Liberalandia, wherein dissing LotR is treason
[6] Consuming Bungo's blue stuff with great enthusiasm, you overdose. Thankfully, the sinister power of Armok keeps you alive, however, his presence is felt in the massive Wall of Nachos that you conjure up as a border to Liberalandia. It glows with purple malcontent energies. Your feet are stuck in it!

Ringdrotten: Taste the strange blue stuff Bungo left in the RV
[3] You take a small taste and immediately sneeze greatly. You blink a few times and you seem to see an ominous visage on the back of your eye-lids. You blow your nose on Bungo's shirt and the feeling goes away, only to be replaced by a growing desire to taste more of this strange Blue.

Round 7:

(I forgot to keep the illusion of distance going with the wall of nachos, oh well )

Whoooo! You owe me a buckie Bungo!   (But not a blue one!   )

That bloody nacho-wall was a nuisance! I had to sort of plop it on top of everything else.

{{{I know Mrs. Figg put in 150 Ft., but I changed it to 15 to avoid such a monstrousity}}}

It looks fine Forest- good job   (which considering the typically bonkers Forumshire actions of the players is no small feat!)

Giant Wall of Nachos...
Yeah, Mrs. Figg should change her name to Bran Figg, the Builder.

Maybe Round 10 can be the end, or the beginning of the end, with Armok's spreading evil consuming the lot of us in an inter-galactic time-warp of sorcerous malfeasance.   
Or maybe 20, I don't know. I was sure I had discovered a way to kill off Bungo, but then Petty just has to get lucky on his rolls for the second time and save him.    
Not that I'm biased against either side of course, ho-ho!
Although I am proud that at least one player has lost a limb by round 5.

WHILST MRS FIGG IS STUCK I EXPLAIN TO HER IN MINUTE DETAIL EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE LOTR'S FILMS, MINUTE BY MINUTE.