In theatres: 'Desolation of Smaug' | SPOILERS

bungobaggins wrote:I pretty much need that ELE reminder everyday.

Word has spread and my work finished   

Uh.. ELE?

Don't say that   

Everyone should know.

ELE

 

Spread the word   

Ringdrotten wrote:Uh.. ELE?

It's our response to DOS. At least it's mine and RA's. Sometimes only theoretically in my case.

Wouldn't NLAOI (Nobody likes any of it) be better for this site?

Hate the cinematic sin, not the cinematic sinner.

Radaghast wrote:Hate the cinematic sin, not the cinematic sinner.

ELE   

Eldo's even given us an emoticon for ELE (apparently).

  

Everybody Loves Elephants.

Mrs Figg wrote:thanks Bungo but knowing my ineptitude with interwebz stuff, I shudder to think what may happen if I let loose a siteblocker.   It would probably go feral and start biting the postman.

Well, I've added torn and their forums to my block list. So, now I can ELE in ignorance.

Radaghast wrote:Everybody Loves Elephants.

Well that's true, but elephants don't love everybody.

Oliphaunts people. Please.  

 

I tried a little experiment over at TORn, just how far are they prepared to go in the dumbing down of Tolkien without complaint, I posted this in reply to a staffer review,,

AzogTheTolkienDefiler
• 15 hours ago
yeah great review, and thanks to Peter Jackson for taking a boring little book and modernizing it. It was totally like LOTR but with more orcs. thumbs up.

they published it   

Bluebottle wrote:Oliphaunts people. Please.  

 

But that might be confused with some 70's rock band

Not sure if anyone shared this already, but here is Martin Freemans appearance on the Grahan Norton Show.



Not very much of relevance. Mostly talking about the pronaunciation of Smaug.

Hobbit bit starts here.

https://youtu.be/lpdNwZfKNgI?t=18m58s

Eldorion wrote:I think seeing how it holds this weekend is the big test.  The level of competition will increase substantially with all the new movies coming out over Christmas.

$300M is definitely looking unlikely, though.

Looking even less likely with this weekend's box office estimates.

I give up. If Peter Jackson ever sets foot in my town I'm going to have a hard time not launching myself upon his neck like a rabid weasel on steroids. I will strangle him until they pull me off.
For those who wish not to be spoiled, it is encapsulated to spare your poor eyes from being burned.

Total Misery:

I feel your pain Yavanna.

I think I just saw on Facebook that they edged Anchorman 2 out this week and are still number one, and have reached the 300 M mark.

The nice thing about reading all these spoilers is I'll have all my crabbit out by the time I finally am dragged in to see the damn thing, and may actually be able to enjoy it just as a spectacle.

I just saw it again with my sisters, and I'm not as confused. It was entertaining until Thorin shows up in the cavern. Everything past that point was rubbish. Lake town is too choppy, and Thranduil should have been in it much more!!!

halfwise wrote:The nice thing about reading all these spoilers is I'll have all my crabbit out by the time I finally am dragged in to see the damn thing, and may actually be able to enjoy it just as a spectacle.

You lot keep saying that. Repeating a thing over and again will not make it so.

I just watched it again and found that, without the excitement that accompanies a first viewing, the film was even lamer the second time around. My main thought over the last hour of the movie was hoping that it would hurry up and end.

I mean, the highlights for me, this time around, were mostly things I shouldn't even enjoy, like Tauriel and Kili's conversation together!

When I told my mom about how I liked that scene because of its hints of Middle-Earth beauty, she had the ignorance to say that it was good PJ and Co. added some traces of charm and deep emotion to an otherwise stale story. Needless to say, I was swift and merciless in explaining that the film she had just watched seemed devoid of charm or beauty entirely because of the Coven and their idiocy, not thanks to the source material.
She wasn't at fault; she has enough to preoccupy her already with real life without worrying about what blasphemy PJ and Coven are cooking up in their cauldron of hippo-poo-worthy storytelling.

So many things were wrong, and silly, and out of place. Smaug says "step into the light" to Bilbo at one point, which you would think (if you were a giant donkey's behind) would please book fans, but the line loses all meaning in the movie. It is simply lip-service to the book, for Bilbo is not hiding in the dark, Smaug is sniffing around aimlessly, and even when Bilbo is seen by Smaug the dragon does absolutely nothing to him, effectively removing any feeling of danger or menace from a line that, in the book, is meant to draw Bilbo into a sudden and painful death. I mean, it's out of place, it's a pointless tidbit of dialogue. It sits in the far back seat while crap like "Something golden... Something precious Precious PRECIOUSPRECIOUSPRECIOUSPRECIOUS!!!" dominate the theatre's sound system.

Yet again, Beorn was lame, Azog and Bolg were pointless, Mirkwood was ugly, the spiders were lame, the elves of Mirkwood were practically non-existent, Thranduil was weird and good at the same time, Legolas was wooden, Lake-town was moldy wooden, the people of Lake-town completely deserve to be dragon snacks, Thorin is utterly unlikeable, Balin stands out as the only dwarf that fully belongs in this movie, Tauriel is a stupid addition but is nice sometimes, Gandalf doesn't actually accomplish ANYTHING for the ENTIRE MOVIE, we are only allowed brief glimpses of Martin Freeman's characterization (the main trait Freeman gives Bilbo being his habit of thinking visibly through his body language), and Smaug is really big and really detailed but totally hollow and stupid.

I hated the attempted dumping of fish that Alfrid or Wormtongue's grandfather, or whoever that was, starts to carry out. I don't care whether PJ was trying his hand at political metaphor; it was a crap scene that accomplished nothing but making us dislike Lake-towners for being either mindless twats or bureaucratic morons. I didn't particularly like them in the book either, but at least they just were and did not get used as meaningless drama-creators.

And Petty was right, why does Legolas clearly say Gondolin when we see "elves of old" or "ancient elves" or "my ancestors" or something like that for subtitles? The same thing happens later when Bolg or Azog or some other idiot uses Black Speech and, instead of the name we can hear, are shown a description of that person or place, whichever it was.

I liked everything less than the first time.

Except, perhaps Bard, as I think his voice and appearance are good for the part. Perhaps I just have some kind of man-crush, who knows. Still, he's enjoyable when he's not being used to whore out the plot (as he is for most of the film, now that I think about it).

Next to Thorin, he's perfect for the role. Thorin often looks like a guy in a fat suit. His head is simply too small, too narrow, for his body! Thorin is a prat, and a jerk!

All these cheap humour gags stood out more on a second viewing--the Master scratching his bum, Bifur (Bofur?) spouting water out of his mouth even though the dwarves are all floating calmly down a quiet stretch, orc-beheadings being used as a joke--these things are small and could be overlooked if only they were some of the worst offenses, instead of the least annoying.

Also, I did like seeing Bilbo in the tree-tops of Mirkwood more. Unfortunately, any positive emotions brought on by his encouraging hobbity-self is destroyed by the dread and doom that his ring is becoming. In almost every major scene involving Bilbo we are reminded of its malice and power.
I am reminded of how the dreadful film After Earth managed to take a highly charismatic actor like Will Smith and turn him into a boring nuisance through shite dialogue and crappy pointless drama.
Martin Freeman's charm and intelligence as Bilbo is significantly undermined by the rushed storytelling of this film. What a disservice, to all involved, and especially Tolkien.

On a happier note, I found an excellent quote by the author himself and put it in my signature. Take THAT all you fanboy "oh this is film not literature what do you expect" wankers!

your Tolkien signature sums it up perfectly Forest.   
I agree totally about Freemans acting, its almost mime (I keep imagining a beret and sad clown face) in some parts, and it kind of gets a bit tiresome, but I suppose he is trying his best with the small amount of screentime he gets.
I still think Thorin is wooden and in the Prancing Pony he looks like a bearded Pinocchio doll. The cgi is off somehow.