Critics review 'An Unexpected Journey'

I can see how you like the opening Bag End section Orwell- I like most of it too, could do with a bit more Tolkien dialogue and less burping, and its a shame PJ cant do scenes with more than two characters talking without it quickly just being a lot of people shouting- but the Azog stuff? The Radagast/warg chase scene?- the complete loss of any sense of reality from the stone giants/goblin town action sequences? Really?

Right, my turn now. I just had a great day out with my son,(who's 17) Ended up watching The Hobbit,after waiting so long to see it. Im at a loss as to where to begin. Right from the word GO, to when it,thankfully ended, I honestly thought it was CRAP, crappity crap crap,crap! The main characters had obviously aged,yet were meant to be younger. Galadriel was sippid, Gandy border line alzheimers, Saruman worn out & saggy, Radagast made me wanna chuck, how could he be such a dork !? Thorin couldnt control a nun in a brothel, the Dwarves were akin to "difficult children" in special classes at school,who Social Services have given up with, only Elrond seemed to hold his own,(dont ask me WHAT he was holding,but he did it well) The music was so wrong for this film. PJs trying to hard to connect with LOTRs but he should have kept to the "Misty Mountains" tune & varied it thru the film. And as for the little hints of "evil" wwooooo!, The One Ring..a necromancer... my arse! And then theres the Goblin King ! old fatty scrotum chin! my 12 week old kittens wouldnt be afraid of THAT! I went expecting the worst & I got it ! The atmosphere was dire! to polished, no feel, to glossy. I promised my son that we'll see the 2nd & 3rd, as he really enjoyed it, but Il be under the influence of Diazepam to sit thru it. I couldnt wait to get out of the theatre, I was wriggling & squirming all thru it. The dialogue in places was to modern, even my son,Adam, remarked on that. I wasnt happy with the Gollum scene either, with the riddles, The Hobbit was a half hearted rushed affair with no substance, It will not be on my "fav film list", It was ok,if you wanted a fantasy fairy tale & was waiting for the Prince to rescue the Princess, but for it being a Tolkien film, forget it ! Pay your money & watch a Ridley Scott film instead!

Testify!

Now, that's real crabbitness

Got to admit I am impressed {{and just a little weak at the knees!}}}

Yeah ?! well theres a tad bit more where that came from, you can bet your oozy wee haggis! Bilbo's feet were to big & rubbery, Kili thinks hes hes a threat to legolas, & Nori's hair looked like it had been arranged between a prostitutes legs.

Nori's hair looked like it had been arranged between a prostitutes legs. - Azriel



{{oh dear either Im having a heartattack or my heart is beating faster! }}

And it wasnt hair "GEL" that kept its shape!
And the stone trolls looked like the kids toy.. "Battling Robots", one "boxing"robot is blue,the other is red, & you beat the be-jesus out of each other in a plastic ring till your opponants head pops off.

Yeah especially that upper cut- straight out the 70's tv advert for those robots. Even the angle it was filmed at reminded me of it.

And how the diddly-do can just 13 or so dippy dwarves, that cant unite as a functioning team,battle 1000s of goblins, knock goblins over wooden bridges with just a bog brush & escape without a scratch ?!

Oh the feet!! Not only where they too big and fake, Bilbo never once walked quietly!! Did anyone notice?!

Your right Amarie, he might as well worn "Walkers Crisps" on his feet. & the scene with the trolls ! None of it was correct, & we just had to have snot & bum quips didnt we, I didnt hear anyone even snigger at the so called jokes PJ thought would go down a treat, what a twat!. In fact I noticed several people check their watches & mobiles for the time! Maybe they were wondering when it was gonna end ? Everyone left the cinema long before the credits got to 2nd line. I was out at 1st.

Well after falling several hundrd feet from the cave and afer being pingponged about on the knees of giants I dont suppose goblins pose much of a threat to PJ dwarves- the Goblins certainly dont seem to have much mass as you can apprently shove a goblin off a cliff with little more than a harsh look.

I'm curious now how I'll react differently to seeing The Hobbit a second time. I'm hoping that I can go see it on Monday. My brother hasn't seen it yet so I might be able to convince him to come along.

I too liked it more the second time. It will be interesting to hear if that's the case with you as well, Eldo

I suspect it might be since I know what to expect now.

i will probably go a second time too, does anyone know how long roughly it will stay at the cinemas for?

In the US big movies like this generally stay in theatres for 2-3 months before they become really hard to find. I don't know how it is in Italy though.

I think it was fairytale-ish and not so much High Fantasy (as in "I take my Fantasy serious like - it's adult literature, I reckon!" as it's described today), and for that reason enjoyed it. As to the early parts, I really liked the Bag End stuff. No, not exactly how I imagined it, but enjoyable nonetheless. I've found myself in a state of mind where I'm putting PJ's excessess out of my mind as much as possible, I know, but I liked the actors and the fact some of the characters were older is just something the imagination just has to adjust to. I caught myself wondering how much was Del Toro and how much PJ, as the early parts I thought were handled very well. The Plates song and the Misty Mountains song were done well enough for me. I liked the circus performer tossing and throwing of the crockery! The Radagast stuff was quirky, but I admit, I like quirky. It was audacious but in a very fairytale-ish way. The bird poo in his hair was off putting, but it did remind me of T.H. White, and I'm ready to put to sleep any real misgivings purely because of that. (The porcupine is cute! hee hee!) The Stone Giants were great. Again, I think there was excess - of a CGI kind - and the Goblin Town scenes were overblown - but somehow I find that more acceptable in a kid's tale than a High Fantasy like Lord of the Rings. Azog I'll never love, but if I forget that this is an Adaptation, then I can stomach him.

I think you will like the purist edit Orwell- everything you like still there and the stuff you are trying ignore all gone.

I noticed something whilst editing earlier- in the flashback scene where old Bilbo is talking to Frodo about the party invites Bilbo says of the treasure he brought back -"It was only one small chest. And it stills smells of troll."- this would seem to mean the stop off to pick up the troll hoard on the way back is still in there.
So if thats still in then so too presumably will be a stop off at Rivendell- and that got me wondering if thats when the sword that was broken scene will be and if it will introdce a young Aragorn, setting things up for FotR....

azriel wrote:Yeah ?! well theres a tad bit more where that came from, you can bet your oozy wee haggis! Bilbo's feet were to big & rubbery, Kili thinks hes hes a threat to legolas, & Nori's hair looked like it had been arranged between a prostitutes legs.

i fail to see how any of that is negative.

btw. Am I the only one who went three times? and I liked it better and better. Also, now I know the best scene to take a toilette break

I will take a pee in Goblin Town.

I wouldn't. imagine taken off guard with ur pants around ur ancles in goblin town.. ewww.. :S

omg.. I was on another planet. I went when they brought the map to Elrond and was back when the dwarves left. so I skipped the white council.. more or less.