what sort of jokes can I get away with?

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............


(scroll down)






"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

chris63 wrote:A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............


(scroll down)






"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

you could make a rooster out of corn flakes.. just add a bit of imagination

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."

The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."

The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't !!"

Turn the sound up

Watched chris' snake video...

Spoiler:

I love this video for how the guy in it goes from bored, to scared, to excited, to freaked out. Language warning for the easily offended.

to the above !
The only one I couldnt look at was the snake one as I am scared SHITLESS of snakes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

azriel wrote: to the above !
The only one I couldnt look at was the snake one as I am scared SHITLESS of snakes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you should, it's just dead and really long. like the longest snake I've ever seen.

I looked, & it was amazing ! How is it that they can grow so long ??!!!!! Id be interested to know how it died ? delayed indigestion ?

they are all brill

https://plus.google.com/photos/106931883312930491741/albums/5849939618982878433/5849939616645574306?authkey=CKry3vT6gNqLPg&sqi=104550499164355562767&sqsi=92141351-15a4-4b8b-9c1e-14bf15a23763

How do you put a video on when its not youtube ?

it ususallly works, just copy url

If the video is on Dailymotion or Google Video you can just click this button and paste the URL into the box that appear. Otherwise you can't embed the video; you just have to post the link.