The Needlehole Mysteries

Thank you very much, everyone! I'll do my best to be a little more regular in posting updates here. I think I'm getting back into a writing groove after a rather up-and-down week. This is the Super Bowl Weekend, though, so as an American (and a football fan) I have to do my patriotic duty and watch.

Orwell wrote:If I wasn't debillitated by laughter just now, and if this wasn't obviously some alternate Forumshire (I am, of course, the Seventh of my line in THIS Foumshire! ), I'd have to kill you, Eldorion! I would!

I'm sure that you're nowhere near as foppish as Orwell III. Absolutely positive. I can barely see any resemblance between the two of you at all.

The Archet Bugle wrote:I don't mind having an 'ínfluence'- but does he have to surpass me so effortlessly? It's an outrage!

I hope you know that you're still my favorite Forumshire author, Anon. I consider you an inspiration.

It probably says something about this thread that I have to ask this question, but which specific statement is making you crabbit, Petty?

Mrs Figg wrote:Agent Nora should get her own spin-off series.

kind of agree

Too true. She is by far the most captivating character - Eldo and Ringo being such dull, life-less figures! {{{ }}}

Looks like Orwell is squaring up for a .....handbag fight. Might have known. Watch you dont scratch someone with those claws Orwell, you might break a nail.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Looks like Orwell is squaring up for a .....handbag fight. Might have known. Watch you dont scratch someone with those claws Orwell, you might break a nail.

You mean, "Non Author" is squaring up, don't you? I have good reason to believe that the women in Series Two of Nuwest Who are going to be fully formed women, not some Modernistic clever young woman shield maiden type. Anon believes in writing about REAL women, not fanciful oh so chic Politically Correct types. Just saying. I, of course, don't mean it as some cheap way of undermining other writers in Forumshire, far be it.

You mean, "Non Author"
Orwell.

Of course I do, how silly of me. {{{ }}}

Don't feel bad, Petty, Our arrangement confuses more than just you sometimes.

The Mystery of Mister Figg

Part 3


Agent Nora cast him a disapproving glance. “I may be fairly laid-back, as you Forumhobbit types tend to be, but at least try to act professional when you're talking to my boss, would you?”

“Of course,” said DI Eldo. “We're all professionals here. Lead the way.”

The two Forumshiran policehobbits and their companion walked through the streets of Bree towards the imposing fortress at its center. Bree-land filled a fairly small territory, composed mostly of farmlands and scattered townships surrounding the central city of Bree. The buildings of the city got taller as they neared the center.

“Bree-land Intelligence is headquartered beneath the Central Fortress,” explained Agent Nora as they passed through the downtown area. “Fortunately there's a direct route from the port to there.”

Sgt. Herring took in the site eagerly, never having been to Bree-land before. DI Eldo had visited once before for a police conference held at the Prancing Pony Hotel and Convention Center.

“Here we are!” announced Agent Nora as they neared the impressive gates of the Central Fortress. “Just have your IDs ready and follow me. They'll be expecting us.”

Together the three passed through security and descended beneath the fortress to the Intelligence offices. After passing through a second security checkpoint they entered a long conference room. Two people were already seated at the table in the middle. The more distant of the two wore a long robe with a hood that left his face in shadows.

“Welcome, Detective Inspector,” said the person sitting nearer to the trio. He was dressed in an expensive tailored suit. Agent Nora inclined her head to whisper in DI Eldo's ear. “The Director of Intelligence,” she breathed softly.

“Good morning, Director!” said DI Eldo. He walked to the table and leaned across to shake the Hobbit's hand. He extended his hand to the hooded Hobbit as well but stopped when the Director shook his head slightly.

They all sat down. “Thank you for your prompt return with our guests, Agent,” said the Director. “Please wait outside.” Agent Nora saluted and left.

“We're terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you,” said the Director, turning to the policehobbits. “But this is a very delicate matter that poses a challenge to both of our countries. We were assured by your Administration that you can be discrete and as such we have decided to trust you with this sensitive information.”

“I understand the need for discretion,” said DI Eldo. “Is Agent Nora aware of what you want to tell us?”

“She has been informed of the general situation,” said the Director simply. However, we need to be as frank as we can with our international partners.” DI Eldo nodded his agreement.

“As you may know, Bree-land is by and large a peaceful nation internally,” the Director began. “We have numerous travelers who pass through and that no doubt creates more trouble for us than you tend to experience in Forumshire, but for the most part it's nothing that can't be handled by our officers on the street. However, there are some more serious criminals who regrettably extend their activities not only throughout Bree-land but to other countries as well.”

“We know who they are and we watch them, but every now and then one of them manages to temporarily elude us. This particular cases involves a murder committed six years ago. A well-known socialite killed her husband and then fled with their combined fortune. We have only recently been able to track her to Forumshire, but to collect the final evidence and make an arrest we need your cooperation.”

“Forumshire and Bree-land don't have an extradition treaty,” DI Eldo interrupted. “If you're looking to have a criminal returned you're going to have to appeal to the political powers-that-be to get them to change the law. I can't help you with that.”

“We've already been in touch with the powers of Forumshire,” said the Director with a small smile. “They have agreed to make an exception in this case.”

“Why?”

“There is a limit to the level of classified information which I can disclose to you,” said the Director icily. “Let it suffice to say that our murderer was involved in a plot against several national governments. Both our rulers and yours agree that this makes her something of a special case.”

DI Eldo frowned and sat silent in thought for several minutes. Sgt. Herring had been listening attentively and now spoke up. “Why are you talking to us?” he asked. “If this is a matter of national security then you should contact the Secret Police. That's their mandate.”

“Discretion!” said the Director with some annoyance. “And trust. Those are essential. We don't have the resources to verify the reliability of every agent who would have to be involved. But you are from a small, independent department and you have been vouched for.”

Sgt. Herring looked unconvinced but did not respond. DI Eldo, however, did. “As you say, sir, we are a very small department. We cannot be away from our district for too long.”

“That won't be a problem,” said the Director with a larger smile. He looked almost predatory now. “We have traced our suspect to your town of Needlehole. Tell me, Detective Inspector, have you ever heard of Julia Figg?”


Before DI Eldo could respond, the hooded figure rapped on the table twice and left without saying a word. The Director took a file folder from his coat pocket and slid it across the table. “I'm afraid you can't take this with you for security reasons, but take as much time as you want to read through it. Leave it here when you're done.” The Director then left as well.

DI Eldo and Sgt. Herring glanced at each other uneasily. “What in Middle-earth is going on here?” asked Sgt. Herring quietly. The DI shook his head ever so slightly. Sgt. Herring fell quiet.

“Let's just look through this as quickly as possible and get out of here,” muttered DI Eldo. He opened the file folder began leafing through the documents and images therein. Julia Figg looked very similar to Mrs Figg, though DI Eldo was surprised that her hair was brown. He supposed Mrs Figg's famous ginger hair must be dyed.

Sgt. Herring glanced through the report of the original murder investigation. Apparently the late Mr Figg's given name was Oscar and he had been in his late-twenties when he was killed. “Nothing in here about the suspect being part of a terrorist plot,” the Sergeant said.

“No, that's in the biography,” said DI Eldo. “I just got to the part that mentions that.” He turned the page he was reading and paused. Most of the rest of the biography was blacked out. “It appears our security clearance isn't quite high enough for the details,” he said grumpily.

“I think I've seen enough,” said Sgt. Herring. “Did that memo you got from Superintendent Elthir say anything about making an arrest?”

“Yes, it did.” DI Eldo sighed unhappily. Mrs Figg was the last person he wanted to arrest but the notion of arresting anyone on behalf of a nation with no extradition treaty unsettled him more. “Nothing for it. Let's get out of here.”

The two rose and departed the conference room. They were met just outside by Agent Nora, who had been reading a magazine in the corner.

“How did it go?” she asked brightly.

“Fantastic,” said DI Eldo in a monotone. “What next?”

“We're to return to Forumshire to finish the operation,” she said. “I'm to return with you as Bree-land's official representative in this case. Although ...” she blushed slightly. “I'm afraid I don't know all the exact details. Did they fill you in completely?”

“Not completely,” said DI Eldo. “They must have their reasons for not wanting any of us to know the whole picture.”

“Ah.” Agent Nora looked disappointed. “Well, we could at least get something to eat before we try to find a ship to take us back!” she said with some of her enthusiasm returning. “I know a place right next to the Prancing Pony Hotel. They have the best fish and chips you will ever taste.”

“I'm in,” said Sgt. Herring brightly. They had not had time to eat before the meeting. “I have to ask though, do they cook with herring?”

Lunch was a pleasant affair, and the food was indeed excellent. DI Eldo was still quiet and thoughtful but Sgt. Herring and Agent Nora were trading stories of their respective careers in Skattykatzenfjord and Bree-land.

“Do you really have troll reserves in the north?” asked Agent Nora.

“I'm afraid I'm not allowed to say,” said Sgt. Herring. “The army doesn't take kindly to anyone even addressing those rumors. But I can tell you that the dung removal bill for the northernmost army bases is astronomical.”

They shared a laugh and Agent Nora ordered more wine. “I'll admit that sometimes I get sick of secrets,” she said. “They're my job and I can't complain when the Intelligence Service sends me my paycheck, but sometimes I wish I could talk more freely about my life.”

“I'm sure there's more to you than just your work,” said Sgt. Herring, who finished his own glass of wine.

“Sure, but it's hard to keep up friendships when you're setting sail for a different corner of the globe each week,” said Agent Nora moodily. “That's why I'm glad to still be on this case, you know? Actually getting to know some people instead of having to race off as soon as you've met.”

Sgt. Herring smiled understandingly. “To a long and difficult case that will require us to work together for months!” he said with a laugh.

Agent Nora giggled and tipped back her glass again. “So long as this difficult case doesn't have us all at each others throats by the end,” she said.

DI Eldo raised his own glass to the others. “We can hope.” He smiled for the first time since leaving the Intelligence headquarters. “Let's go for a walk. I'd love to see a bit more of Bree-land before we have to go.”


After paying the bill the trio strolled through the streets of the city and down to the more open fields that surrounded them. The farmland stretched out towards the horizon in gentle rolling hills. The fields were brown in winter, but it was clear that they would be a majestic green come spring.

“It's beautiful here,” said Sgt. Herring. “I don't know how you can leave it behind so often.”

“Me neither,” said Agent Nora. She turned and pointed off in the distance. “My grandmother had a farm almost at the border. During the Long Winter she had to hide in a cave when the white wolves and the wildlings swept through Bree-land. She and her family survived but the farm was burned down.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” said Sgt. Herring sincerely.

“It was a long time ago,” said Agent Nora. She turned back with a smile. “Everything's rebuilt now. When I was little I used to hiking in the hills looking for that cave, but I didn't find it.”

“I'm sure you will one day,” said Sgt. Herring, and he smiled back.

The trio spent longer than they intended wandering in the farmlands and the afternoon was well along by the time they returned to the harbor. As they approached the ships they were stopped by an impatient-looking Bree-lander in an Intelligence Service uniform.

“There you are!” he said in an annoyed tone. “Which one of you is Detective Inspector Eldorion?”

“That would be me,” said the DI.

“This is for you.” The agent handed him a sealed folder. “Everything you need for the remainder of your mission, I'm told. The top wants you to be punctual so do make an effort.”

“I shall,” said DI Eldo lightly. “Good day.” He tucked the folder under his coat. “Evidently we are on a time limit,” he said to his companions. “Let's take the first ship back to Forumshire. We can see what's in the folder once we're underway.”

My great Uncle's numchukkas! Eldo! This is Mills and Boon. Are you gouing to change your name to Barabrara Cartland?

{{{Good, with so many Modern women here, who would not be interested in all Eldo's romantic claptrap, they'll return to The Doctor in no time. What a stroke of luck! I'll have to keep reading though, not because I absolutely adore a good romance, no way, I mean, who cares if DI Eldo falls for Agent Nora and so breaks the Sergeant's heart - ooh how poignant that would be - but then what about Agent Nora and her poor heart? - not that that kind of delicious romantic claptrap iinterests me in the least! ... And, yet, he might decide to change tact and write something intellectual and masculine, so attract the Modern ladies back again... Must not get complacent, no... I'll have to keep a close eye on things}}}

"He supposed Mrs figgs famous ginger hair was dyed"

GINGER!!!!!???????? .........DYED!!!!!!!!!!??????




HOW VERY DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apart from that nasturtion casting its great!

You'll always been shown proper respect in Dr Who, Mrs Figg, I can assure you of that. You know, I think that Anon even fancies you a bit.

LOVE IT ELDO! keep going!

The Mystery of Mister Figg

Part 4


“This is for you.” The agent handed him a sealed folder. “Everything you need for the remainder of your mission, I'm told. The top wants you to be punctual so do make an effort.”

“I shall,” said DI Eldo lightly. “Good day.” He tucked the folder under his coat. “Evidently we are on a time limit,” he said to his companions. “Let's should take the first ship back to Forumshire. We can see what's in the folder once we're underway.”

Sgt. Herring and Agent Nora agreed to that plan of action. The first captain they asked was a cabbage merchant setting sail for Admunholm. He was unenthusiastic about taking on passengers but changed his mind upon seeing the money the policehobbits had been given for their mission.

Only after the ship had left the harbor and Bree-land was shrinking away rapidly did DI Eldo take out the folder. “Let's see what the bosses have given us,” he said. He opened the folder but found only a few pieces of paper.

“Formal arrest warrant for Mrs Julia Figg, sealed letters addressed to the Admin and the Superintendent, hmm...” said DI Eldo as he glanced through the contents on the folder. “I was hoping for a little more background information on the case.”

“Tell me about it,” sighed Agent Nora. “All they told me before I was sent to find you was that a dangerous criminal had fled to Forumshire and we needed foreign cooperation in order to have her returned.”

“That's curious,” said DI Eldo. “When we were in the briefing room the Director mentioned that they couldn't verify the reliability of all the secret service agents who would have to be involved. Sgt. Herring and I being from a small, isolated district though...” He trailed off in thought.

“Great. Just great,” said Agent Nora with a trace of sulkiness in her voice. “I just love it when I'm expected to do my job without knowing what's going on.”

“If it's any consolation, we don't know a whole lot more than you,” said Sgt. Herring kindly. “And the DI didn't want to discuss what little we did find out,” he said, glancing at Eldo.

“'Discretion!'” said DI Eldo, mimicking the Director. “They left us alone in the middle of their most secure base. I don't believe for one second that we weren't under surveillance. There's a good chance that they were hoping we'd speak less guardedly alone so I saw no reason to give them that.”

Sgt. Herring stared at the DI. “A little paranoid, are we?” he asked incredulously. “I thought Forumshire and Bree-land were supposed to be friends.”

“We are,” said DI Eldo. “But I don't like this business one bit. I don't like working blind any more than Nora does and I definitely don't like arresting someone on behalf of a foreign power – any foreign power – when there's no legal basis for it. Backroom deals and off-the-record operations make me suspicious.”

Sgt. Herring said nothing. Agent Nora was silent for a moment as well before speaking up. “For what it's worth, I think the situation is strange too. A murder investigation is not exactly controversial. Unless the suspect is someone powerful then why should there be anything to hide?”

“She is an … entrepeneur,” said DI Eldo. “Though just how controversial she is depends on your sense of propriety.” He gave a wry smile. “The reason for all the cloak-and-dagger business – and this is information they implied you weren't supposed to know, so you didn't hear this from me – is because the suspect was allegedly part of a conspiracy against both Bree-land and Forumshire.”

Agent Nora seemed taken aback less by the revelation and more at the fact that DI Eldo had broken confidentiality and told her. She quickly recovered, though. “That still doesn't explain why they don't think they can trust the secret services. Unless those have been infiltrated.”

“That's possible,” said DI Eldo. “So maybe I shouldn't be confiding in you.” He laughed at the look on Agent Nora's face. “I'm just kidding,” he said with a friendly smile. “I'm not into espionage stuff but I get a trustworthy vibe from you. What concerns me more is being ordered to work outside the law by my own superiors.”

“Are you going somewhere with this?” said Sgt. Herring in a tone of concern.

DI Eldo sighed and didn't respond for a minute. “I suppose not. We'll have to see what we can find at Mrs Figg's. If there is any evidence tying her to Bree-land or to the murder then we'll arrest her as ordered.”


The trio of policehobbits did not discuss the case much for the remainder of their journey. What little wind there was blew against them, so it took longer to return to Forumshire than it had to get to Bree-land in the first place. They passed much of their free-time playing cards together in the hold and, when it was nice out, on deck. There wasn't much else to do on a cargo ship that smelled of cabbage no matter where you went.

In due time they arrived at Admunholm and disembarked. The captain thanked them courteously after receiving his final payment. “I want to send a message to the Superintendent before we move out, said DI Eldo. “So I'll need to swing by the post office.”

As they walked towards the post office they were quickly hailed by a uniformed policehobbit. “Detective Inspector! Over here, please.” DI Eldo led the trio as they walked into a small office, little more than a shack, just off the main street facing the waterfront. It was dark inside and their eyes took a moment to adjust.

“Ah, DI Eldo, so good to see you again,” said the Hobbit sitting at the office desk. Eldo recognized him by his voice as none other than Superintendent Elthir himself.

“Sir. Good to see you again too. I was just about to send you a message, actually,” he said.

“Apparently we both wanted to speak with each other, which is why I came here. It wasn't the easiest thing to find you, though. You didn't exactly take a five-star ship home.”

“Yes, well, nothing wrong with trying to avoid unwanted attention,” said DI Eldo elusively.

“Unwanted attention? Nothing went amiss during your time in Bree-land, I hope.”

“No, it was lovely,” the DI said quickly. “But I wanted to ask you just how much you had been told of the investigation.”

“More than you, I have no doubt,” said Superintendent Elthir, leaning forward. “I had a rather long meeting in Bree-land a few weeks ago where we discussed it and I put your name forward as a reliable investigator. I'm sure this must be a very unusual case for you, though.”

“That's one way of describing it,” said DI Eldo with a derisive snort.

Superintendent Elthir gave him a reproving look. “That's why I wanted to talk to you. This is a dangerous matter and information is our most important weapon. I'm sorry that we can't be more upfront with you right now but I promise that everything will be made clear soon. We need you to make your move in Needlehole as soon as possible.”

“We were planning to go straight back there,” said DI Eldo.

“Good. I want you to bring the suspect back to Scotshobbit Yard. We'll file all the paperwork and handle the extradition from there. That's something we'll need the politicians to sign off on personally.

“Understood. We'll be as quick as we can.”


Sgt. Herring was able to rent a pony cart from a travel service in Admunholm for a good price and the trio was soon on their way back to Needlehole. “It feels like we just left,” said Sgt. Herring. DI Eldo grunted and continued to stare uneasily at the passing countryside as he had since their departure.

Agent Nora laid a comforting hand on the DI's shoulder. “I know this is really frustrating for you, but let's just see it through. The Superintendent did say that we'd be filled in soon.”

The Sergeant smirked knowingly. “Pay him no mind. Eldo's just sulking because he's still resentful that Elthir got promoted instead of him.”

“Shut up, Herring.”

“The Superintendent is very patient and understanding, though. Cuts Eldo all sorts of slack.”

“I said shut up!”

Agent Nora was rolling in laughter in her seat. “You two! It's like you're brothers instead of co-workers. All the policehobbits here seem so different. In Bree-land we're so very serious and formal.”

“Better we seem like brothers than what most people think we are,” grumbled DI Eldo.

“What do you mean?”

Sgt. Herring chuckled from the front seat. “When people hear that we're live-in partners they usually don't assume that we're police officers.”

Agent Nora's eyes went wide. “You're not...?”

“No, we're not!” said DI Eldo loudly. “I'm not, anyway. You'll have to ask Sgt. Smart-ass separately.”

Agent Nora turned her head to stare at both of them in turn. “He said 'live-in'.” Sgt. Herring laughed louder.

“We're only in Needlehole temporarily so we're both staying in the Sheriff's building,” said DI Eldo in a surly tone. Agent Nora did not respond.

“Don't worry about Eldo's sulking, Nora,” said Sgt. Herring. “He's very, shall we say, traditional when it comes to certain things. I'm sure he's thrilled at the prospect of going back to Mrs Figg's.”

“You know her?” said the surprised Agent Nora.

“Most people in Needlehole do,” explained Sgt. Herring. “She runs Mrs Figg's House of Eels and Pleasure, which is exactly as seedy as it sounds.”

Agent Nora frowned at the DI. “He likes it there?”

“I liked it a lot more when Mrs Figg would give me discounts,” said DI Eldo. “But after I refused to endorse Odo Banks in the election she turned very cold.”

“Discounts?!”

“What's the problem with friends doing favors for each other?” yelled the exasperated DI. “Eru save me! Women!” Agent Nora settled into a steely silence while Sgt. Herring laughed even louder than before.


The pony cart rolled into Needlehole late in the evening. The last stragglers were entering their houses or pubs and the sounds of evening meals and revelry were spilling out into the streets.

“Do we go straight to Mrs Figg's?” asked Sgt. Herring.

“We might as well,” said DI Eldo. “We're supposed to be hurrying.” He took the reins of the pony cart from Sgt. Herring and drove them around the back of the House. Agent Nora peered at it curiously and caught a glimpse of the animatronic eel waving in the evening sky.

“That's obscene!” she hissed.

“That's Needlehole,” said Sgt. Herring.

DI Eldo parked the pony cart a few streets over from Mrs Figg's and hopped out. “Let's try to be quiet,” he said. They cut through several alleys until they came to the rear of the House. “We can go in the back window,” whispered DI Eldo, pointing to a small window a level above them. “Sergeant, I can lift you up.”

Sgt. Herring nodded and clambered onto DI Eldo's shoulders. The window was locked but with a strong tug he was able to pull them open without breaking any glass. He peered through the opening before clambering inside and then pulling the others up.

“There doesn't seem to be anyone in the back rooms,” said Sgt. Herring. “If my memory of our stay here is correct, we're only a few doors over from Mrs Figg's private apartment. She's likely to be at dinner with whoever the more important guests are at the moment so if we hurry we should be able to search there before she returns.”

The others nodded and all three drew their pocket crossbows. DI Eldo crept to the door and opened it an inch so he could look out. “All clear,” he hissed, opening the door the rest of the way. The trio hurried down the hall until they reached a door with a shiny gold plaque in the shape of a fig on it.

“This is her room,” said DI Eldo. “Sergeant, I must call upon your lock-smashing skills again.”

“Just one second!” said Agent Nora. “That would make a terrible racket. I have something better.” Handing her pocket crossbow to DI Eldo she approached the door and took out a small metal lock-pick. “Sometimes testosterone isn't the best solution,” she said with an innocent-looking smile.

After a minute of careful work the lock clicked and Agent Nora swung the door open. The apartment appeared empty. Sgt. Herring closed and locked the door behind them.

“Spread out,” said DI Eldo. “Herring, you look for anything in her bedroom, especially locked containers. Nora, you check the walls for a hidden compartment or room. I'll look in her files.” The three policehobbits tip-toed through the apartment. DI Eldo rifled through the files in Mrs Figg's cabinet and desk but did not see anything that immediately appeared suspicious. Sighing, he drew out a single folder and flipped through it in more detail.

“Eldo! Here,” whispered Sgt. Herring, returning from the bedroom. “I found a jewelery box stashed under her bed. Look what's inside.” Agent Nora also walked over and Sgt. Herring lifted the lid. There was a small framed portrait of Mrs Figg with the same brown hair as in the Bree-land portrait of Julia Figg. There was another portrait showing her with an unfamiliar man.

“Look on the back,” breathed Sgt. Herring softly. He turned over the second portrait. Someone had penciled the words 'Oscar and Julia, Best Wishes for a Happy Future. Love, David' on the back.

“Is that enough to go on?” said Agent Nora.

“It's enough to make an arrest,” said DI Eldo. “We'll let the Superintendent and the courts figure out the rest.” He stood up.

“An arrest?” came a voice from the door they had entered by. All three policehobbits looked around to see Mrs Figg standing in the opening doorway. “I shouldn't be scared, should I?”

Thanks again for all the comments! The story is really picking up now and I'm really getting into it. There will be plenty of drama and intrigue so I thought it worth including a more light-hearted moment. I'm doing my best to keep a reasonable amount of comedy in while not trivializing the rest of the story. Hopefully it's working. I'd love to know what you guys think, whether you like it or not, and any suggestions or criticisms you may have.

{{{ Hey Orwell, how's that for romantic claptrap? }}}

Sgt. Herring chuckled from the front seat. “When people hear that we're live-in partners they usually don't assume that we're police officers.”

Agent Nora's eyes went wide. “You're not...?”

“No, we're not!” said DI Eldo loudly. “I'm not, anyway. You'll have to ask Sgt. Smart-ass separately.”

Dead give away that, what! Oh how loudly do you protest, Eldo...

Now, Eldo, I thought it only fair to warn you, Anon tells me the next episode of Trebinzinite has got romance, great story-telling, brillliant character development, wonderful dialogue, witty banter, deep pathos (and bathos), and so much tension the elastic holding up your undies is bound to snap. Guaranteed.

Oh well, your story was supremely entertaining while it lasted, but, well, maybe you need to give up while you're ahea-... while you're behind, I mean. Yes the next episode of Trebinizinite will probably rewrite writing itself!


{{{Note to self: And now all you've got to do is work out how to accomplish it... ... ... ... Oh shite... }}}

Orwell wrote:
Dead give away that, what! Oh how loudly do you protest, Eldo...

My thoughts EXACTLY! What was it dearest Grondy used to say. Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is all made up.

Loved how you included Nora's story about her grandma. Not only is the story great in itself, but it is these little bits of 'real' forumshire life that gives it that little extra.

I am sick and home from work today. But this is good medicine.

Your Grondy seems a larger than life well loved figure. Has Dark Planet been a bit.. well, darker since his loss?

Oh that made my tears pour! Yes, the whole world is darker without him, not only PT. He was the best of men. He has been with PT since the early beginning as a small message board. Kind, brave through all his pain and hardship, funny, wise, slightly short tempered. Always there, always posting something. Always a kind word and a guiding hand and strange references to things no one else recognized. RIP Grondy

Sorry, I didn't mean to have a breakdown. You just really hit home. Spose it's also a bit due to me not feeling too well today.

I saw some of what folk said about him back when I was a part-time resident of Dark Planet. He did seem a great guy. Possibly someone who would have fitted in here effortlessly too: and strange references to things no one else recognized Definitely Forumshire material.

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! <3<3 dunno what els to say! I am just sooo looking forward to the rest of the story! I love Agent Nora too.
Eldo, you write great, I love ur humour in it. PErfectly balanced ^_^ this is my favourite thing after Sherlock to follow keep up the good work!

btw, Who's this Grondy from Planet Tolkien? He sounds like a legend.