Complaints

I thought I was pretty positive. You're a trouble maker, Odo Banks!

And a coal-scuttle thief!

I would argue that none of the Wholesome Tales support that contention! They're on the Record, Mr Smarty Pettypants!

We Tyrants have no need of crude records or proofs! We pass on our family traditions and stories in the time honoured Highland fashion of father to son long drunken ramblings. So there.

Yes, it's clearly an age old and accurate Scotshobbit method of accurate transmission, Mr Tyrant, but TRUTH is NOT transmitted when stories were MADE UP for Clan-poltical purposes to begin with! (It's OUR coal scuttle. Get it into your head! )

Well its yours by dint of thievery yes. In fact I shall go as far to say you can keep the thing and no more need ever be said on the matter, we can bury the scuttle as it were and move on as civilised hobbit beings. All you have to do is pulicly admit that the Banks clan were thieves and stole it in the first place. Simple.

Now, you two, can't bygones be bygones? I happen to recall a tale of a McTyrant and and a McBanks getting on absolutely fabulously.

Now let me think, I think it was "The Sawhuh of Gayold McTyrant and Mincy McBanks"...

That was back in the days when Scotshobbits were far more free and easy and, some say, innocent, gambolling naked in the heather on Boney M Island. The two were so close, it's said, that sometimes you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

I'll see if I can find it...

Gayold and Mincy! -there is no such tale! {{{if you tell that one Orwell I will drown you in buckie!- well I wouldn't want to be cruel about it.}}}

Huh..? Wha'? Shush! Ahh! I think this might be it.... ...................

Aha! I thought as much!

Its all lies, completly untrue and without a shred of evidence. It never happened, simply never. Absolutely and unequivically. You can tell the Bugle they will be hearing from lawyer, if I can ever afford one.

{{{Right that is it Orwell! Where's that vat of buckie I hadn't finished drinking yet? Aha! I told you that tale in strictest confidence Orwell and you sold it to the bloomin Bugle of all papers?! To 'Upsatirs, downstairs (but prefers going downstairs) Lesbo Proudfoot? I'm speecheless. Hold on no I'm not, I'm #****! $$*'##! *$# furious! }}}

{{{Well hit me with a wet cloth -- I thought it was just one of your witty family Legends! }}}

I bet Mr Christ wasn't as moody as this...

Ally wrote:I bet Mr Christ wasn't as moody as this...

I wonder if there is a medicinal herb that might help cure Ally's serious case of "esotericus"? Poor thing.

Pretty sure there is a herb thats responsible for it.

Has anyone noticed that since I planned a saucy rendervous with Kafria for 2014 she has gone REMARKABLY quiet? I can't begin to tell you guys how vindicated I feel now. Take that: NotP!

Oh how FOUND OUT, I feel just now... I am an honest woman at heart, and so I now apologize, and profusely... I know you are the VERY hobbit, Orwell. Big, brave, manly (for a hobbit), and dangerously sexual --- a woman-eater of the worst kind... Such a SPECIMEN of all things MASCULINE as you are was bound to find me out eventually... I am, after all, just a mere girl at heart, my wrinkles notwithstanding...

If this were any more transparent a ruse it would be a window...without any glass in it.

I'm sure I have absolutely NO IDEA what you're alluding, Petty... honest... ( )

Pseudo-Kafria wrote:Oh how FOUND OUT, I feel just now... I am an honest woman at heart, and so I now apologize, and profusely... I know you are the VERY hobbit, Orwell. Big, brave, manly (for a hobbit), and dangerously sexual --- a woman-eater of the worst kind... Such a SPECIMEN of all things MASCULINE as you are was bound to find me out eventually... I am, after all, just a mere girl at heart, my wrinkles notwithstanding...

Manly? If you look at Orwell's gorgeous picture, he actually looks pretty feminine...his manly outer-face is slowly cracking to display a strangely horrific yet beautiful feminine face...maybe he is quite effeminate or maybe she is female, or maybe it's not even a real picture of him!!

I think the world deserves to know if Orwell is a hobbit lad or a hobbit lass, 'cos going round looking part rambo part Leonor Fini portrait is quite confusing! SORT IT OUT ORWELL!


But anways, have fun you two!

I am a complex person, many sided, and not just two faced i'll have you know, Ally! If I offer something to both boys and girls, I would call it My business, of course!

Well, I've decided, and I'm either going to call you from now on: Gwendolen the High-Hearted, Princess of Periburgh (was a close call with The Heartless Temptress though) or the Prince Desmond Darius Magnus Faramond di Perisina (again it was a close call, this time with The Poisonous Brigand).


I know it's a mouthful, but it's my tribute to the multifarious mysterious nature that is yourself

Actually, screw that, Orwell is a lovely name.

As has become the norm for me lately, sweet dear Ally: I have no idea what you're getting at. "Gwendolen the High-Hearted, Princess of Periburgh (was a close call with The Heartless Temptress though) or the Prince Desmond Darius Magnus Faramond di Perisina (again it was a close call, this time with The Poisonous Brigand)." Err... hummm???

If every post that I wrote made sense...well...I wouldn't have many posts at all.