The Curious Tale of a Missing Banks

pettytyrant101
Dear Sherriff Mirabella,
your views on the treatment of the mentally ill have made my decision easy. If I did know where Mr Banks was you would be the last person in Middle-earth I would inform.
Mr Banks is a long standing, respected and usually trousered member of our community and has many friends. Wise Odo, whilst being a late-comer to our community has also been welcomed but considered by most to be, less respectable, what with his channelling of dead poets and the like and his disdain of the 'vulgar threads'. I should be careful if I were you or you may find one day that the Community has decided to put YOU in the Lockholes.

Wise Odo
Dear Mirabella,

Not a moment after sending my last encryption, but Mr Tyrant sent me the most amazing missive. He not only questions your respectability and mental abilities, but he also strongly hints we don't have Odo's best interests at heart! Never fear - though I now call him traitor - I have a plan...

I will report back ASAP.

Uncle Wise

Mirabella Banks
Uncle Wise,

My goodnesss. I too have received an extraordinary missive from Mr Tyrant! I too will report back to you ASAP.

Mirabella

Wise Odo
Dear Mr Tyrant,

It's good to hear from you, Old Friend. I think you and I should meet, and soon. Perhaps, if you are in contact with Odo, you might bring him along. Mayor Samwise and I have decided we need to treat him nicely, just as you suggest. He case shall be dealt with in the best possible way!

When can we meet?

Your Loyal Friend,
Wise Odo

Mirabella Banks
Dear Mr Tyrant,

I don't suppose you and I could meet over a nice cup of tea, sometime? I'm sure if we met in the flesh, you find me more than pleasant company.

...and please call me Bella... My closest friends do.

Bella Banks

Odo Banks
Dear Mr Tyrant,

I have managed to evade capture thus far and my confidence grows. Lord Eldorion the Loremaster, has made contact too. He has a Fortress and Army up somewhere north-westaways. I think if I can move north from my current secret hideaway, I will surely reach one of you. You know, I'm beginning to think that some major changes need to be made in the ordering of The Shire. And with the help of you, and Eldorion, and Eldorion's Army... well... anyway, I think if I can reach either of you, a meeting of all three of us might then be arranged.... for our mutual benefit perhaps...!?

What's that?!

I can hear voices... Gotta go...

Odo

pettytyrant101
Dear Wise Odo and Sherrif Mirabella,
I have received two very similar, and I'm sure coincidental, invites from you to a meeting. Perhaps I have been over harsh on you Mirabella and I now see the error of my ways. But as I am quite busy it would seem preferable to meet you both together. By a lucky chance I am currently organizing a picnic in the Woody End and would be delighted if you both could come as my Guests of Honour. I shall get back to you with formal invites when a time has been set,
your friend Petty.

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Mr Tyrant,

Thank you for organizing a picnic in the interests of Forum Harmony. I shall encourage all members to participate. Perhaps we may yet find a fair resolution.

Sincerely
Gandalf's Beard
Ranger Supreme
Wizard of the First Order and
Representative of The High Administrator

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Sheriff Banks,

I urge you to accept Mr Tyrant's kind invitation to the picnic. I look forward to meeting you and Mr Wise in person (not to mention all the Feasting, Drinking, Pipeweed Smoking and general Merriment). Perhaps we will be able to work out an equitable arrangement for all.

Sincerely
Gandalf's Beard
Ranger Supreme
Wizard of the First Order and
Representative of The High Administrator

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Odo the Wise,

I urge you to accept Mr Tyrant's kind invitation to the picnic. I look forward to meeting you and Sheriff Banks in person (not to mention all the Feasting, Drinking, Pipeweed Smoking and general Merriment). Perhaps we will be able to work out an equitable arrangement for all.

Sincerely
Gandalf's Beard
Ranger Supreme
Wizard of the First Order and
Representative of The High Administrator

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Mr Banks,

It has come to my attention that a picnic is to be held at Woody End by Lord Tyrant. I expect Sheriff Banks and Odo the Wise to meet me there to hash out an agreement. Whilst we are thus occupied in feasting and merriment my forces will escort you to Lord Eldorion's borders where you will then be escorted by HIS forces to his Fortress.

I fear for your safety should you remain on the run in the Wilds without protection. I suspect Sheriff Banks and Odo the Wise do not have your best interests at heart. I urge you to remain in the company of Lord Eldorion until such a time as I have been able to secure your status. Please use your Umbrella wisely.

Sincerely
Gandalf's Beard
Ranger Supreme
Wizard of the First Order and
Representative of The High Administrator

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Lord Eldorion,

My forces will meet your forces at the borders of your Kingdom with a special "package" on the day of the picnic at Woody End. Please keep the "package" safe until such a time as I have made arrangements for the continuing safety of the "package".

Sincerely
Gandalf's Beard
Ranger Supreme
Wizard of the First Order and
Representative of The High Administrator

Gandalfs Beard
Dear Bella,

I send this missive to you in my off-duty capacity. I hope to get to know you MUCH better at the picnic to be held at Woody End . I look forward to seeing your renowned beauty in person. Indeed, perhaps we may even make a "special" arrangement for further more intimate communications .

Yours
Gandy

Eldorion
Dear Lord Beard,

I shall send a contingent of my Legionnaires under the command of First Consul Gothmog to meet your forces to arrange for the reception and continued safekeeping of your "package". At the same time myself and Second Consul Boldog shall be scouting out this Woody End.

Sincerely,
Lord Eldorion von Gehirnburg
Supreme Commander of the Purist Legion
Lord of the Fortress of Lore

pettytyrant101
Dear Wise Odo and Sherrif Mirabella,

I hereby invite you both to my Woodhall picnic and disco night on the 12th, (tomorrow) any time from 8pm onwards. I look forward to your arrival as to many others of the Community.
With best regards, Petty.

pettytyrant101
To all other members of the forumshire community, the Woodhall picnic is open to all, elves, hobbits, men and even dwarfs and beards so come along tomorrow after 8pm to the Woodhall Picnic and Disco thread.

Wise Odo
To Dear Wise Odo (forwarded document from Noom),

My dearest Wise Odo, I fear these tall Rohirrim are causing a delay; I am struggling to get a permit for my train of camels to travel through their lands and am making quite a name for myself. I have been challenged to several races, all of which I have won. Most people underestimate the abilities of a camel, compared to a horse they are genius in comparison. Most of mine can count to at least 42 and therefore understand the meaning of the universe. One horse was close to overtaking us in a race and my camel looked back, spat in its eyes and the poor dumb horse ran off the race course and straight out of sight while everything for it was out of sight. As soon as I get the permit, I will start travelling west. If i am too late to help you there is always my plan b. This plan b begs a new question, to whom do I offer a dowry of supreme camels to for the hand of miss Primadonna in marriage. My father scowls at me as I have not yet found a wife for myself and she sounds quite excellent. I hope she is tall for a hobbit as I am short for a man at 4' 6".

However back to plan a, if you could channel to me your location I would be that much quicker in arriving. Between you and me I could head of in front of these dumb, slow witted and overconfidant armies and whisk Odo Banks out of their grasp. I will consult with my camels for to arrive at a plan, "a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel." (a local quote from one Southern Dervish named Slack Bladder)

I will however have to curtale the reading of my camels to keep their minds fresh. At the moment they are making their way through the works of Tun Tsu and his art of espionage.

Your faithful fan

Noom Chevaline

ps. I got word that the permits will be through very soon.
Noom Chevaline

Wise Odo
Noom Chevaline,

It is done!

Wise Odo

Noom Chevaline
Wise Odo, I hope you have put in a word for me to Primadonna

What plans can we work with:

A) join you and track down Odo banks together.
B) woo and marry Primadonna
C) Ambush and kidnap Odo Banks from under their noses and bring him to you.

(There is too much boasting about quantity rather than quality of posts on the forum)

"Say but little and say it well." Channeled from a Leprechaun, I hear it in an Irish accent in my head. Hibernadale, abode of Leprechauns is an Island off the west coast of Scotsdale. I think they wear kilts and play the bagpipes there as well.

Wise Odo
Mr Tyrant,

I would be most pleased to attend the Picnic. I hope Odio cn there be too, as I would so much like to see him again. Primadonna is coming along, as my guest, but definitely not as my Heavy. She has picked out a pretty frock suitable for an Outdoor Event and will alsop have a.. er... walking stick in a scab.... long pouch - in case her sore toe plays up. Don't trouble yourself about it when you see it clasped on her belt.

Yours appreciatively,
Wise Odo

Wise Odo
Mr Beard,

I am pleased to hear you will be at the Picnic!

Ahh! Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it feels as if you have at least some knowledge gleaned from my Private (and Spell Protected conversations with Other Forumers. Yes, Private Conversations which lie under a "Spell of Encryption". Or have you been meeting people personally, perhaps using a Magical Transport of some sort to flit all about Middle-earth? I'm befuddled. The "Spell of Encryption" is a powerful one, Mirabella has told me so! If you are using a Counter Spell to Read other Forumers Private Missives, I'm sure Blandorthin would inform Mirabella about it. Yes, you must be using a Magical Transport. It's the ONLY explanation to how you are keeping so well Informed! Am I right?

Wise Odo

Mirabella Banks
Oh Petty,

I would be most pleased to attend your Picnic, it sounds like it will be great fun. You'll be pleased to know that at least every Sheriff from my Office will attend as well. You don't mind me informing you of this, as they thought it easier if I accepted your kind invitation on behalf of the whole squad. I am very much looking forward to seeing Uncle Odo and perhaps, in a informal manner, sorting things out.

Bella

Mirabella Banks
Dear Uncle Wise,

I trust you have received Mr Tyrant's Invitation like the rest of us. I am attending with a Crack Squad of Sheriff's (sadly I had to mislead Mr Tyrant as to their intent - he seems a nice Scot, though a trifle simple). A resolution will soon be at hand - so long as Uncle Odo turns up, of course. There's no certainty the Invitation reached him, wherever he is! And no certainty he will attend the Picnic either, though he has missed at least twelve meals by now (unles he has found frogs to eat, or wild berries - I hope he hasn't resorted yet to eating rodents!!!) so he may be hungry enough (and Mad enough) to come!

Your loving Niece,
Mirabella

NB I'm a bit concerned about that Administrators Assistant - or whatever he pompously calls himself! I get the feeling he knows more than he should. Of course, with "The Spell of Encryption" in place, he CAN"T read out private missives to each other. I suspect he is travelling around (probably by Magical means) and seeing certain people personally. There is NO other explanation! Bandorthin would register Counter Magic immediately!

Mirabella Banks
Dear Gandy,

Ooh I'm so MUCH looking forward to seeing you at Mr Tyrant's Picnic. Oh dear... I've becoming a giggling young girl at the mere thought of ACTUALLY seeing you in person!! You sound a very Shiny Personality - and such a High Official...! It's all very intoxicating! Oh you MUST come to the Picnic - though being such an Important Personage, I hope more Important things don't prevent you from attending. I'm sure you deal with such HUGE affairs in your LOFTY role! Oh dear... what's got into me? My heart goes pitter-patter pitter-pat...

Bella

Noom Chevaline
Dear Odo Wise,

the permits are through along with information of a picnic. I will race non stop, with 12 camels in relay to use, I will reach the end of my endurance but may well make it in time to the picnic.

Hope to see you there.

Noom Chevaline