The Rings of Power Post-watch Discussion (Spoilers)

"My empty buckie bottle also has better acting skills and a wider emotional range. "

"And Elronds whole thing to the dwarves was really a covert way to get mithril to save elf kind by imbuing every elf with the light from mithril- what they going to inject mithril ? !! Someone kill me! No better still someone kill the writers of this abysmal pile of horse shite, and thats a disservice to horse shite which is actually quite useful stuff and full of life- neither of which you can say about this car crash of a tv series."



It does the heart good to see such wholesome crabbit in the face of such worthless crap.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:{{ What that an elf would be undefeatable in any battle by anyone or anything? - seeing as she can not only fight off several people at once, but also when they are attacking her form all sides at once, but that doesnt even cause her to break a sweat, reminds me of the swordfight in Princess Bride- (from 3.40) but with much poorer choerography, no character development or witty dialogue and Galadriel's fight is not meant to be funny, but is due to it supposedly being serious. I dont know how anyone is supposed to take any of this seriously.



Wish theyd taken inspiration from a different film, Indiana Jones and just had someone look at her swordplay shake their head sadly, pull out a crossbow and just shoot her. }}

If they had taken inspiration from The Princess Bride's writing then RoP would not be so dull as it is.

Well, this thread really isn't doing a good job of changing my mind about subjecting myself to the torture of  watching the series

That Silmarillion-Mithril nonsense strikes me as almost too stupid to be true... I'm angry just reading about it, no way do I want to watch it...

Thank Eru Christopher Tolkien kept the rights to The Silmarillion etc locked away (for now)

As stupid as it sounds, it came across even stupider on the screen - and that's saying a lot!

Oh, and Isildur's bumbling comic relief in this telling. Yeah, you read that right.

I am behorsed
bruised and broken

OH NO!  You WATCHED it, didn't you?!  

I did. And episodes 1-5 happened.

And my Mrs Figg-sig is still handy.

{{ Elthir! Nice to see you back, shame about the circumstances But are you sure youre safe watching any of this? I know how crabbit this is making me, I'd think a Lore Master might be at risk of spontaneous combustion }}

"I have seen things you have not you have seen, but cant quite believe it happened." But it did.

Dear oh dear, you poor souls.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh my LORD, episode 6 has gone off the deep end.

You'd have to really try to come up with anything this retarded. I mean, this is almost diabolically-inspired in its absolutely stupidity.

A brief synopsis:

We're waiting for that attack on the tower, right? From last episode. So the orcs head up there to do their thing.
Meanwhile, Isildur is cleaning up horse shit and being awestruck by Galadriel. Blah-blah, Isildur's mom was drowned. Boring stuff. Nonsensical almost.

The tower is collapsed on the orcs. It looks like they all die. It reminds one of Jackson, the crushing of orcs with rocks. Where are the villagers though? They're all back in town somehow. Did the ol' switcheroo right past the orcs. Nice! Makes total sense to me.

They defend the village the following night. It's miserable. The villagers kill the advance orcs and it turns out once they're dead that they were mostly the traitor-villagers dressed as orcs. Really miserable stuff. Like gross-feeling, nasty watching. You hate the villagers because they're stupid and dirty, but then you're also meant to root for them. And now they've been tricked into killing each other, and the whole thing piles up into one big gross sandwich of misery.

The orcs attack from the other side. A lot of villagers die. The orcs break into the tavern the survivors are hiding in. Lots of villagers die. The director likes having orcs slowly run people through, and does this several times. IT'S GROSS AND VILE. It is UNPLEASANT AND STUPID STORY-TELLING. This is garbage. This shock-factor violence in a "Tolkien" adaptation makes me sick to my stomach. I despise the sensibilities of whomever created this.

Evil-elf Adar gets his sword-hilt, and he is happy. But then... what is this?! The Numenoreans have been charging over the hills at a gallop on horse-back in a terrible hurry for... no apparent reason, and are arriving in town. Oh and it's daylight already. That was fast.

The Numenoreans mop up the orcs. Galadriel acts like a brash psycho around Adarrrrrrr. Halbrand is obviously Sauron, etc. etc. Galadriel gets the sword-hilt back and gives it to black-dude-playing-an-elf character. A day later they're all celebrating, and black-elf dude gives the hilt to the boy in its wrappings still. The boy unwraps it and... it's a hatchet! It was all a trick! Cut to the barkeep! He has the hilt!

And he has stabbed himself already and made the smoke-sword! AND HE STABS THE SAURON ALTAR THAT THE ELVES LEFT THERE FOR A THOUSAND YEARS! And the altar thing is a MECHANISM FOR UNDAMING THE LAKE BEHIND THE WATCHTOWER!! And THEN THE RESERVOIR BACK THERE CRASHES DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE JUST LIKE IN TWO TOWERS OMG OMGOMG

And oh gosh I bet you feel stupid now you fools who thought to question the great and powerful minds who brought you such wonders as Galadriel the Slayer and Isildur "Dropped the Rope", because that giant stupid trench WAS MADE FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LITERALLY A CANAL HAHAHAHAHAAHAA

And the water flows through the tunnels in the village and everyone is like hurr durr oh no what means this and we watch as it flows down into a giant magma chamber at the base of the mountain that we have only just been shown for the first time this episode. And a lot of steam at the BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN makes the TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN erupt because that is how volcanoes work. And the volcano creates a PYROCLASTIC FLOW ACROSS MANY MILES OF LEVEL GROUND BECAUSE THAT IS HOW VOLCANOES WORK.

And the last shot of the episode is Galadriel being swallowed by the cloud of ash and fire.

She is surely dead. As is Miriel the black Numenorean queen, Isildur, Sauron, Elendil, random black elf dude, and all the other characters.

I'm done.
I said I would finish this season and watch all the others too. But I'm done instead. I'm going to cancel the free Amazon trial I've been using and just not watch any more. This is the vilest garbage I've ever seen attached to Tolkien's name. Even the weirdest Russian stage adaptation has many times the earnestness and sincerity of this over-wrought filth.

I agree. Quit. Cancel. Flee.

This seems survivable? Right?

...right guys?

Yeah Amarie, it's getting so that it's not even fun to dislike it anymore.

That sounds so bad I'm not sure I can resist watching. Won't happen until sunday though.

It sounds as good as Clash of the Titans.

The newer version was one of those things that sounded like a good idea, but then a committee got hold of it.

{{ I think I pulled something watching that, and not one of the fun things either.
In fact there is no fun in this. Some folk may think I find pleasure in being made crabbit, but nothing could be further from the truth, its stuff like this existing in the first place naturally provokes crabbit. This is gone from awful to distastefully awful.
It lingers on stabbings, impalings and especially blood, lots of blood, blood pouring from wounds, blood pouring onto people from stabbed eye sockets, there's a lot of blood in this. Unnecessarily so.

There's also the continued trend of callbacks to PJ films. The orc attack on the village is like Helms Deep in its beats- cutting between people on the walls, the old and young huddled frightened in the barricaded inn, and the approaching lines of orcs. But its pacing is all over the place, its direction lacking flair or interest and you don't give a toss about anyone involved as the character work hasn't been there.
When Galadriel is chasing evil elf on horseback through some woods she even leans to her horse and tells it in elvish to go faster, exactly as Arwen does, when elf bloke gives bland youngster the package supposedly containing the sword hilt he says almost word for word what Sam says to Frodo about having to let go off the ring. When the hilt is used to release the dam it looks like Two Towers. And like the in your face violence it too is all so unnecessary. Reminding people of when this stuff was better done is not a good idea, yet they persist in doing so.

The timelines also continue to make no sense – Numenor is in sight of land and is a minimum of 2 days most likely 3 including disembarking, forming ranks and the ride itself etc (weeks in reality but never mind that the writers aren't)– they reveal this at dawn and Miriel stares at a map of the Southlands that transitions into the Southlands, except its at night? By morning the Numenoreans have arrived to save the day. Eh?

Don't give us specific times if you're then just going to ignore them, but if you're going to build a section of your story around the drama of will the Numenoreons arrive in time to save the villagers it might be useful if the viewer could have any grasp of where in time any of this is taking place in relation to each other. This is basic story telling stuff they are screwing up here.

Anyhow this episode basically consists of fighting, things exploding or going on fire implausibly for spectacle, more fighting, elf fighting on wires and fighting the one Uber-orc we've ever seen who comes across like the end of level boss in a video game, discovering bad elf is one of the original elves Morgoth took to make orcs out of and that he prefers to be called an Uruk thank you very much, Uruk-rights! That elf bloke still loves dull woman so they say some cheesy dialogue to each other and kiss to prove it, oh and that pouring water into a magma chamber makes for an instant volcano.

There is some good news however as I assume this is the final episode and it all ends here as all the main cast save meteor man and the Harfoots just got hit in the face by an exploding volcano at close quarters and it should be Pompey time now. So that's a blessing.

I haven't gone into much detail here, as what is the point, its stupid beyond belief, the dialogue is stilted and the characters remain unlikeable and unapproachable, the plot is beyond stupid with the tunnels being canals for the water to be channelled to the magma chamber, the dereliction of duty to Tolkien's lore never more surpassed.

This has been six hours of utter agony with each episode more painful and difficult to endure than the last.
Before this episode I was just sad and disappointed really at what they'd done to Tolkien's work, now I'm disgusted too. So well done Amazon you've sunk to an all new low. }}

Given how ridiculously happy it makes me to order something I want on Amazon and have it arrive the next day, I don't understand why they feel the need for another business model. They should stick to what they do so well, doing something that makes people happy instead of looking like buffoons as they drive people into apoplexy.

You KNOW that most, if not all, of the named characters in that village are going to survive. But we saw it over-taken by an exploding wall of super-heated ash. It SHOULD be a thousand degrees in there. Flesh will combust instantly. And yet there will be survivors.

Damn shame, isn't it?

What? Who? Pompeii? Water. Key no lever? Where? Cooling ash? But fire! Eye blood! Uruk! Uruk!

Why-when? Horse? Ouch! Horse fine. Pompeii? Big ork! No weapon? Water apple. Water-bang! Why?

That horse could have finished that apple.

Forest Shepherd wrote:That horse could have finished that apple.

{{ Maybe he was cautious of colic, mind you that would involve the writers knowing something about horses, and I doubt they do.
Anyone else notice the map Elendil has of ME he shows to Miriel on the ship has all the Numenoreons established ports like Pelargir marked on it? So in this version they have been colonising ME all this time or have they been isolated all this time? If they are isolated who built these places on their map? I would say it was just pure careless laziness but they went to the trouble of making the map in Adunaic. Its such a mess even within their own premise }}