The 2010 Woodhall 48hr Picnic and Elven Disco. All welcome

Wise Odo
...((((....

"Stop! What was THAT?????"

"Oh Honey Trousers! What did you hear?"

"I didn't hear anything - but I sensed something..."

"What is it, my newly reconciled Brother?"

"I'll see if I can channell something - my Goodness, these trees are thick and laden with a dark ambience - very strange, considering we're in The Shire...."

"Will you just get on with it!"

"Oh very well...


"In this dark forest slink many dark creatures,
Some of them monsters with very cruel features."

"Might it be a goblin, a hoblyn, a horrid bad wolf?"

"I can't rightly say? All I sensed was a 'Poof"?"

"That's from Dante's "Divine Comedy", I think - though something he presumably threw out before publication."

"Oh Honey Trousers, who in Forum-earth was Dante?"

"Never mind, Primmy - never mind..."

....)))))...

Wise Odo
....(((((....

"My goodness, Primmy, has all Magic broken down here? I'm flabbergasted. Have all conversations been opened up to every Vulgar eye (and ear?) on a Hobbitoforumospherotir? I can hear Noom Chevaline talking!!!"

"Well, the way things are going in Forum-earth at the moment, Honey Trousers, nothing would surprise me."

"Shush, you two. I want to try and find the location of that 'Poof" Wisey sensed!"

"Dear old, Odo, you always had a taste for adventure."

"No I didn't! We just have to be careful. Which way...?"

"Over here, I think... Ooooh Is that Magic I can sense...?"

"Oooh I think it is. Oh I can even taste it..."

"Taste it!!!???"

"Yes - it's like Lemon Dizzle Cake, I think... Yummo... Very Elvish..."

....))))).....

Tinuviel
.........(((((((((............
Still following me eh? well, this should DEFINITELY give those nosey magic grubbers something to think about! HUAN!!!! That's a good boy, now if you don't mind, I'd like you to.........................)))))))))))))).................
.......(((((((( There, that should take care of that! Now, which way to the Fortress? I can sense it's close, but how close? (shrug) it doesn't matter. As long as the night wares on I'll be safe. And if anyone tries to sneak up on me, I'll be able to hear there snores before they see me! (laughs and speeds off into the woods, leaving a Hidden Huan behind...)))))).....

Tinuviel
it's much too quiet....

Odo Banks
....(....

"I never knew trees in the Woody End could resonate so with the sound of magic, Wisey... This place feels enchanted..."

"Yes, I sense strong sublimimal Magic, which can only be countenanced in the mind's eye and heard in the mind's ear, but which is of of a Natural, Environmentally Friendly, possibly Politically Correct sort. Do you sense a ceratin close-to-the-earth quality, a mystical non-mainstrain sacredness, dare I say, a Yavannan Ambience of the Woods?"

"What are you two talking about? All I call smell is wolf..."

"Primmy, don't be ridiculous - a wolf here in the shire? Dear girl, I think you're just a bit put out because your nice frock is begrimed and somewhat torn. It's bound to happen, crawling around here in all this undergrowth..."

"Don't patronize me, Wisey! Hey! Oh, I just realized, it's actually a 'hound' smell! Yes, indeed; a hound - but I was close enough."

"A hound? What can that mean, Dear Odo?"

"That Primmy is off with the fairies, dear brother... err.. which is quite understandable in the current circumstances.... Where is this Hideaway of yours, Wisey? I could do with a hot bath... Scrabbling around in the dark is hardly respectable - and it's not helping that your reed tunic is disintegrating before our eyes!"

"You two are insufferable! You talk about Magic Resonating, and that's okay to suggest, but when I mention I can smell an everyday creature such as a hound , and you say I'm delusional!"

"Oh, but we thought you meant a hound like Huan - a hound from the First Age."

"Yes, that's exactly what we were thinking, wasn't it Odo? And that, of course, would be ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous indeed! Oh, we mustn't giggle at the idea, which is ,of course, absurd!."

[[Giggling]]

"Well, I trust my nose..."

"Come on, you'll be telling us you're Luthien Tinuviel next..."

[[More giggling]]

"Now Tinuviel: that was a nose one could brag about!"

[[Even more giggling]]]

"Oh, Sweet Illuvatar!!!! What's that huge grey hunching shape lurking under the trees ahead. The one that radiates a certain ethereal Elven shimmer that's not been seen in Hobbiton since the First Age!"

"Aaaaagth! It's a GIGANTIC HOUND!"

"Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!"


....))))).....

Aule
Good day to you all, Hail to Lord Elderon, Odo and their esteemed company!

And who is this new face? Glad to meet you Noom Cheval-*Torn to bits by hound*

......okay, enough with the greetings. What has happened here? How may guests? And where are is the buffet? I wasn't told there was one, but this sort of thing is expected at shire gatherings. I have traveled far from Oxf*Sorry*Hellcaraxe, and am weary. I hear the lord Eldoron has a Castle of lore not far from here and that is why we are in this wood. I would get that hound looked at before we go in though, he seems to be sparkling quite strangely... If only he could be detached from my leg.

I should wonder if we should meet old Tom Bombadil in these woods? Some snacks with the river daughter wouldn't go amiss, but I seem to be clothed in his garb, and some confusion may ensue. Let us go ah walking among the elven trees! and find some paths, yellow boots stain, and thistles are some terrible trouble to get out of beards....

All together now!

"Tom Bom Bombadil, Bom Ba Bombadilo...."

Tinuviel
...............((((((((((((((........
Good Boy Huan! I see my plan has worked perfectly. Now, let's see who these little stalkers are...(opens bag, and the prisoners fall asleep) O my goodness! It's the Banks brothers, and, wait, who is that? Primula? but she seems too much like... me? Odd, how can that be? I know I am me, but she seems like me. None the less, i'm not sure if I can trust Wisey and (Primula?).Huan? will you take these two back to the picnic, or if you happen to find Noom, tell him that you found them asleep in the woods. I'll bring Odo with me to the fortress. And feel free to entreat yourself to some goods at the picnic, it's on me
Now, where is that fortress??? Over here somewhere.... AH! WHY IS THERE A SACK OVER MY HEAD?????!!!!! Do you know who I am?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!!!! I demand you take me to your leader!!! Wait, did you say he's in the Fortress of Lore? Then by all means, capture me!!

Gandalfs Beard
Well, that was a delightful picnic and Disco. Apparently the Odo brothers have made amends and Sheriff Mirabella has called off the hounds.

I trust no-one missed me, as my doppelganger lurked in the shadows and I peered on from within my Cloak of Invisibility. My Friendship Charm would seem have done its work, and all is well again across these lands.

My Lady Tinuviel, I trust you are well in Lord Eldorion's company. Rest assured, my Spells of Protection will see you safely through the Forum lands.

GB

pettytyrant101
I'm back!!! Who'd have thought it? Certainly not I. I thought I was done for. But no it seems I have a task yet to complete and I have, for a time, been sent back, naked.
I'm not entirely sure why naked, those Valar seem to have a thing for it, its an eye opener in the Blessed Realm I can tell you. Anyhow, naked it was, and right in the middle of George the Drunkard Square, in the heart of the largest settlement in Scotsdale, Glassgoesinyerface”.
I don't know who was more annoyed, the public, the authorities or the pipe band I landed on (he'll never be able to play his drum the same way again).
Fortunately I had my wits about me and immediately knew what to do, I acted very, very drunk. Naked drunken Scots are not unusual and I managed to stagger away unnoticed after that. Stupid bloody eagle though, dropping me there. All I said was “I can't wait to see the nest. I can make us a nice big omelette.” I mean it as a joke, mostly.

However, sent back I have been. I am no longer Petty Tyrant whom you failed to have a funeral for or even a memorial service (really would that have been too much trouble?). I am

The Tyrant, the Off-Whiteish (Well Not Really White At All, You Know That Really Scary Colour You Sometimes Get On The Underside Of Approaching Storm Clouds, Bit Like That...Only Worse).

That is off course my full title but no airs and graces here, even if I am Chosen and you lot aren't, you can still call me Mr Tyrant or even Petty for nostalgia purposes.
I am however changed. I have been given even greater powers of being a crabbity bastard and I intend to use them. And, for reasons best known to the Valar I now sport a huge beard and so do all my cats, not entirely sure why this is but Gods move in mysterious ways, which makes dancing with them a surprising yet intriguing experience.

But I have an ANNOUNCEMENT to make. And I shall make it NOW (ahem). I have been sent back to complete the job I had begun (but without knowing I was doing it) of ensuring the TH movie is not a travesty such as LoTR was.
First an apology to any who may have lost their comfy hobbit hole or there gardeners job of late, it seems, though I did not know I was doing so, that I am responsible for the current global recession.
It is my fault the price of a barrel of pipeweed has gone up by so much and that it costs extra every time you fill up, it is my fault the Elven Bank of Wishful Thinking collapsed, it is my fault Old Tobold's cows have been producing curdled milk and a completely inedible form of cheese. But there is good to come from the sacrifice. The Valar have a plan.

For the aim of the economic crisis is to destabilize the magic lantern folks at MGM, to mount such debt and pressure upon them that the film is at first delayed, as it has been. Then in Stage Two we will see MGM getting cold feet on two films, they will insist on one, having no choice PJ and the Coven will have to make the script fit one film thus necessitating the cutting of all the White Council, Dol Guldur stuff. TH will be restored to its original spirit.

And you can all help, and its easy.
Don't spend money, don't work.
Keep the economy stagnant for as long as it takes.

“Do your bit, do nothing.”

For the Valar have told me the spirit of TH is not Wise.
Gandalf is not wise in it, he is in quirky, enigmatic mode.
The dwarfs range from prideful and stupid to flat out fat and stupid.
There are only two wise characters in TH, Smaug (its why he is scary) and Bilbo, who becomes wise but does not start so.
The Valar have decreed that to include lots of actual Wise People in the White Council and give them dark, ponderous and above all wise activities to do will destroy TH. And after LoTR they will not allow that to happen again.
It was these sort of well-meaning alterations that were to blame before. It cannot be allowed to reoccur. So remember the slogan;

“Do your bit, do nothing.”

Please forgive the length of this post. But such a thing has not happened before, that The Tyrant broke tryst and did not come to his own picnic when he promised. An account to the assembled guests of so strange an event was required, I think.

p.s. If anyone wishes to dispute the splendid plan and reasoning of the Valar on TH film then I shall meet you in the relevant magic threads with my new found powers.

Tinuviel
Welcome back THE TYRANT!!! I was beginning to wonder if the Valar indeed have a special fate for you...
But I agree and disagree with your propostion. Agree, because the longer it's put off, the older I'll get and I can audition for a part and play it correctly Disagree because I'll go mad if I have to wait any longer and it has to come out before the world ends!!!!!
I'll have a talk with the Valar in Valinor. I swooned Manwe once, I can do it again! :mrgreen:
Personally, I'd like to see a bit more woven into the story, kind of cheating in a way. They add parts from other books that are relevant to the time frame and put it all under one name. Technically, its several for the price of one!
Though the quality of the several is debateable...
None the less! I feel this post is in the wrong place, perhaps GB could put it on one of those "magic threads" you spoke of???

.........(((((...........
Safe at last in the Fortress, although I''m sad the excitements over. I haven't had this much fun since I was alive
Well, hopefully its not over. I hope that witty Mirabella has one more trick up her sleeve...)))))))).........

Mirabella Banks
Hello Vulgar Thread people... I must say, having just fled Eldorions tunnel (Gorbadoc and I lost heart and ran for it, too many mysterious shadows in there for us humble Sheriff's), it's nice to find you all in this forest - the Picnic has obviously been moved! And Primula - I never knew you looked like Tinuviel - pretty, yes, but only now do I see just how pretty, though Tinuviel, I grant, is several gradient's prettier than you, Primmy - I'm sure you don't mind me saying it. And, whatever the case, you're still a Lucky Duck, Uncle Wise! And Uncle Odo - a rapprochement with Uncle Wise - beautiful! And this gentleman...? The Tyrant? Oh how you shimmer with off-whiteness - though you're probably a bit too naked for polite company, I'm sure. And who is that? Noom Chevaline? Well, I thought you'd gone - or is it another doppelganger? And Aule - you're here too! What a fantastic turn up this is, indeed! Eldorion not here...? Who really knows? Well, everythig has ended up very neatly (funny that). Does this mean this Great Messy Affair is done with? ... you know, I feel very weary...

Gandalfs Beard
Verily, The Tyrant's transformative revelations are suspect and of dubious nature . Though Blessings of Eru be upon him for his safe return. My own communications with the Valar have indicated that a deal for MGM may yet be near, and that another extension on their debt payment has been made. MGM now has until July 14th to find a financial solution that minimizes financial damage to its shareholders.

GB

Odo Banks
I don't know GB - we're talking about The Tyrant's Visions - not some mere Petty Tyrant's!!

Noom Chevaline
Dead for three days, I think we have a Hobbit Messiah. THe Mithril Maidens bow down to you but Noom Chevaline is still a sceptic and will have to get the octohooka out and think the matter through over a smoka of sheeshweed and a southern cup of tea.

Noom Chevaline

I am glad it worked out quite well between you and your brother. It is good to be back in Harad.


Ps Primula Took and Emma Bracegirdle both send their regards.

Pps they quaffed the barrel of ent water between them and are now bigger than me.

ppps They are both training to become Mithril Maidens and are crackshots with the double barreled sling.

pppps I am over Primadonna honest!

Odo Banks
Love a happy ending!

Eldorion
Wait, is it over? Is Odo being allowed back to his home now?

Tinuviel
Yes dear friend, all is well. the Bankses' feud is all over (I hope!)

Eldorion
Excellent! </Bill&Ted>

Odo Banks
After all the trouble Tin has caused, it's a wonder things worked out so well. Just because she has such a nice nose, she seems to think she can get away with all sorts of meddling ... actually, she can! Bless her little coton socks!

pettytyrant101
Well, I guess the party is over, for now. I think I'll leave the basic party acruetments here in Woodhall just in case there are any other occurances outwith conventional threads that require such a place. In the meantime its time to take down the streamers and banners, collect up the (surprising) amount of empty buckie bottles and empty camels (who left these lying around? That's disgusting! ) and put the closed sign up on the gate. Till next time.
Oh and could someone tell those bloody elves to knock it off with the disco? Its over, go home. I knew I shouldn't have hired elves from Thranduils halls, its my own fault.

Odo Banks
The Hobbit Elves are far too frivolous - why didn't you invite LotR (movie) Elves? They would surely have been more respectable, Mr Tyrant! What am I saying...!!!!?? Let the Disco proceed!!!!!!!! Mind you, can we persuade them to do a spot of karaoke? - "Tra la la lally..." Beautiful! (Hope PJ and Coven don't see this! :? )

Tinuviel
PANIC! AT THE DISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(best band ever!!) I'll party with my kin until Eru tells me to stop!!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pettytyrant101
Oh this is so typical. There's always some folk don't want to go home! I should have known there'd be an Odo singing -has he been on the buckie? And, yes, Tin, no surprise, typical celebrity. Right I know how to sort this, where's my Palantir.

"Hello, Sundering Seas connection board please....yes I can wait..........oh now he's dancing with a gutted camel, really he can't claim that's respectable, that is an exquisite nose Tin has, wonder if she's had work done on it? Bet she has typical celeb, oh hello? Yes, Blessed Realm, Beren please....yes I can wait.....what is that awful tinny music coming out of my palantir? Hold on its the same as the band here.....hey you guys, you get the palantir hold music gig? Yeah, that figures your music is perfect for it, yeah repetitive, mind numbing and totally frivolous...yeah, hello. Beren! The Tyrant here, yeah I just got back, look I'm sorry I couldn't do the lads night out besides it was my picnic your wife was away at, what would my excuse have been? What I miss? What? Yavanna? She didn't? No way, I don't believe you. Ok, ok I'll take you word for it, she can certainly make plants grow, but next time ok? Listen about your missus..., yeah Tin. Who else would I mean by 'your missus' you knuckle-head? She is still here at the picnic, yeah and I don't want to have to tell you this but she's dancing with some hobbit or other long after everyoe else is gone, yeah I know, women, but thing is I think there might be buckie involved. Hey you don't need to tell me. I thought you'd want to know, friend to friend. Oh you'll be dropping by shortly? That's maybe a good idea. Thanks Beren."

Right that is that and them sorted maybe I can get some cleaning up done aound here before the Sherriff comes back along with a littering charge. Now if I could just think of a way to get rid of the bloody band.

"You're as well buggering off too, 'Panic at the Disco' or whatever you call yourselves this week. Besides I ain't paying you a penny beyond the stipulated 48 magic hours! What contract? Let me see that damn thing."

Tinuviel
huh! the NEW tyrant is a bit grumpier than the old one... party pooper!!!! Call Beren on me will you? fine. Panic!, come with me. We'll continue this party in Valinor!!!! (Sticks up perfect nose, and glides away)