The 2010 Woodhall 48hr Picnic and Elven Disco. All welcome

pettytyrant101
Welcome dear members of the Community. I do hope you will have a nice time. There is an all day and night buffet with the finest hobbit fare. Fireworks from Dale and presents for all.
We are expecting some special guests to drop by including the Lord Eldorion, Wise Odo (who may even bless us with some channeling), the local Sherriff and our very own keeper of the peace Gandalf's Beard. And as if that was not enough rumour has it we may even have a very special guest all the way from the Bessed Realm, I must not say to much but its said she has an exquisite nose.
Also I am glad to announce the happy reuniion of the Odo clan which all hope to see here today.

So enjoy the picnic one and all.

Noom Chevaline
I have travelled far and in the hopes of aiding peace for my dear Wise Odo and have brought some refreshmentsfrom Harad. I have a barrel of the finest Hooka Sheeshweed, a gargantuan octohooka with 8 pipes attached and a crate of desert tea. Does anyone have a kettle?

ps: I suppose my southern clothing can constitute as fancy dress!

Noom Chevaline
I am now comfortable and settled, with my pavilion tent set up and tea made, anyone else who arrives early is welcome to pop in for a smoke and a cup of tea.

Wise Odo
(((HOME MAGI-CAM???)))



(((((…… “….well, this does look nicely set-up, Wisey….”

“Please don’t call me that, Primadonna – not yet – not until we’ve spoken to Noom and your Father…”

“Oh you really must call me ‘Primmy’, Sweet Britches!”

“And don’t call me that either!”

“Oh if you insist Honey Trousers!”

“Primadonna!.... Shush! People are looking! Behave yourself! No, don’t hold hands. People will make conjectures!... I must say, what a wonderful confection Mr Tyrant has constructed. It’s a picnic, way out in the open, but I feel as if Magic is involved. Are we not really inside a great sky-coloured dome? The light is curious – miraculous even - or Magical? GB’s hand is in this, I’d say! It’s seems we inhabit a Picnic Place where all the varied times of day exist all at once. Night in one corner, morning over there; behind the barbecue fires - midday; and just beyond it (hovering about that Ent or Ent-like disguised person!) - twilight. Everywhere I look, in fact, I see a different cast of light – or darkness – and all the brightnessess and shadenessess in between. And Oh goodness Me, over there !– on the other side of the collected Dressed Up Folk - is that a Multicoloured Tent of Harad! Can Noom Chevaline have arrived!”

“Let’s go over and meet him. Oh this is such fun, Wisey – sorry! Wise Odo.”

“I don’t know. I mean, now that we’re here I’ve lost my resolve. Should we really tell Noom of our… err.. changed arrangement…..? He may be put out slightly….”

“Oh course we must.”

“What if he slices off my head with his scimitar?”

“What a hideous thought that is – and yet strangely romantic….”

“Primadonna!!!”

“Sorry!”

“Oh how these picnic folk mill around; could that be Mr Tyrant himself over there?”

“The stout fellow with a large head, a gigantic nose and a pink floral kilt?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know. Surely he would be in disguise, not dressed as your average Scot.”

“I guess you’re right… But beware… I suspect not is all as it appears - see that Beardy chap?”

“Beardy chap, Wise Odo? – he’s not ‘chap’ at all – just beard.”

“Ahh! GB himself! There is something fake about him. I sense Magic. Could he be a fake beard?”

“Like a wig, you mean?”

“Yes, indeed. Though – no – more like a Doppelganger!”

“Oooh Wisey – what a vulgar word! I never thought you one to swear….!”

“No, I didn’t swear , a Doppelganger is a Magical Double for Someone Else… you know what I mean! Something fishy is going on.”

“Has he been eating fish? My goodness, Wise Odo, how can you smell fish from here?”

“Oh stop it. You’re a tease, Primadonna Brandybuck, and no mistake.”

“What of that queer tallish creature? Could it be… oh yes, it must be the Lady Tinuviel. Even dressed as a three headed Cave-troll with warts, her Great
Beauty Doth Shine Forth.”

“Yes – has to be her – she forgot to disguise her nose – and it’s perfect! You know, Mirabella has a poster of Lady Tinuviel on her wall. She’s such a Heroine Worshipper!”

“Oh she’s the most gorgeous ugly three headed troll with warts I’ve ever seen! I don’t blame Mirabella!”

“Hey! I wonder if the Lord Eldorion is here yet? I bet he’ll be nearby, what with a beautiful ugly three headed troll around! He’s quite partial to Elves, I hear – and noses!”

“I bet he’s disguised as a strange creature rarely mentioned in the History of Middle-earth – and probably only in a footnote.”

“A cat you mean?”

“Yes.”

“No, I can’t see him. Not yet. My goodness – does everyone here have a Sword?”

“Funny you say it – but yes! Oh perhaps I should have.”

“No, would never have gone with that lovely low cut frock with its frilly bodice and floral skirt! ... Oh crikey! Will you just look at that peculiar orc-like creature? The one armed with an umbrella. Is that tunic he wears made of reeds? Fantastic outfit!”

“Which creature?”

“The one over there, the one standing next to that creature who is disguised as a poor impression of my own brother, Odo. Can't you see that mock-Odo who - come to think of it - looks quite like a dummy? "

"Well, yes, he does look quite a dumb dumb!”

“No – not that kind of dummy. I meant an... um… err… a….”

“A doppelganger?”

“Oh forget it, Primadonna; just forget it.”

“Oh will you just look at that tall Hobbit – no, he's a short handsome swarthy Haradian! Oooooh! Look at his arrogant swagger as he leaves his tent!”

“It has to be none other than Noom Chevaline himself.”

“You never told me how handsome he was.”

“I never knew how handsome he was!!!!… - Primadonna where are you going?”

“We must go meet him.”

“Must we!? No, stay here a moment….!”

“Oh Sugary Breeches, you’re holding my hand!”

“Am I? Well, never mind that!.... Hey! Noom Chevaline! Don’t be fooled. Over here! It is I. Yes: your Mentor, Your Intellectual Master, Your Poem-Savant…No… no… not that One, I’m the One beside that One! That’s Primadonna you’re looking at – I’m the One standing beside Primadonna.”

“Ooooh just look at how he stares at me!”

“My God, Primadonna – that gaze he has affixed upon your loveliness is not respectable; not respectable at all! You must feel very embarrassed by it.”

“Ooooh… I guess I must feel embarrassed … Oooh I guess I must, Wise Odo….”

"Wisey, dear Primmy, you must now call me 'Wisey'!"

"Oh Nectar Pants, you just called me 'Primmy' - but never mind..."

"Well, one must not hide a candle beneath a bushel..."

“Oh - Wise Odo - HE's coming over…”

“Yes – and at speed!” …….. )))))

Noom Chevaline
Dear Primadonna, I shall not get fresh,
In public at least, 'cause private is best.
I came so far North to make you my wife,
To give to you a luxurious life.

Dear Wise Odo, to you I come and greet,
I have travelled so far to study at your feet.
To you, my mentor I will not lie,
I saw Primadonnas hand creep up your thigh.
I wont get in the way or come between.
With envy my face is becoming quite green.
I give to you a present and I will not gripe,
Here is your gift, a hand carved Meershaum pipe.

Wise Odo
My goodness, Noom, what an extraordinary greeting, and while not absolutely respectable, certainly one I receive with quite some relief! - and joy! Well, as the flutes, harps, fugelhorns and bagpipes have conveniently struck up a jig, I shall sing you a fine rustic Hobbiton Song - and Primmy, you may sing the chorus with me - it might distract you from staring at Noom so intently!!


THE PICNIC SONG

Oh whippitty-whappity! Oh flounce on the grass,
The instruments are woodwind (no one likes brass!)
Pirouette and chasse, tumble and turn,
We sing as we rumble! Oh how our toes burn!

Sing la la lally!
This is no valley!
It's Hobbiton!
Hob-hobbiton!
Hob! Hob!

Burn up this grass floor! Lighten our eyes,
Everyone is a dancer (to some a surprise),
Even you shy ones, there's no duckin' and saggin',
Soon you'll be romping like mad old Mad Baggins!

Sing la la lally!
This is no valley!
It's Hobbiton!
Hob-hobbiton!
Hob! Hob!

There's Wind in the Wynyard and Speed in the Weed,
(Oh how fast the weed makes your feet speed!)
Hitch up those trousers! Swivel those skirts,
Everyone knows a bit of dancing never hurt!

Sing la la lally!
This is no valley!
It's Hobbiton!
Hob-hobbiton!
Hob! Hob!

Oh join in the picnic and eat full and well,
On lamb, beef and bacon - leek salad, as well.
Oh life is so jolly! There’s no need for a brolly,
Not to guzzle and prance would surely be folly!

Sing la la lally!
This is no valley!
It's Hobbiton!
Hob-hobbiton!
Hob! Hob!

So everyone sing now! Sing loud and funny!
There's joy in the heart and food in the tummy!
No need for sadness, badness, or Plans which are sly,
Let's dance in the sunshine for tomorrow we die!

Sing la la lally!
This is no valley,
It's Hobbiton!
Hob-hobbiton!
Hob! Hob!
Oh hobbity-hobbit,
Wim-wobbit,
Ho-ham!

Oh Noom that was very enervating! Now, we must sit somewhere on the grass and have a lager together. Primmy, you are looking altogether flushed – and will you STOP gawking at Noom like that...!

Eldorion
<<Enters alone after leaving the troops a safe, undetectable distance away under the command of the First Consul>>

Hey petty, Noom, Wise! How are you guys? Has anyone seen GB around here?

Wise Odo
Hi (Lord?) Eldorion. You did NOT come as a cat after all. At least, I don't think so. What exactly are you by the way - I seem to have lost my glasses while I was dancing - it must have been when I performed that fine triple somersault from a standing start....

Which one is Mr Tyrant? You greeted him but I can't pick him yet out of this crowd. There are so many here at the picnic. And how can you recognize him in his fancy-dress...?

Oh - and as to Gandalf's Beard - I thought I saw him when I first got here - or perhaps his Double - curious business that...

Now now I'm thinking of curious people: believe it or not, someone has come dressed up as a very poorly realized Odo!!! - which I find mildly unrespectable... But there's an excellent orc here! He wears a reed-tunic and a fine umbrella! You must look out for that one! I'm sure his fancy-dress will win a prize! :ugeek: An orc with an umbrella! Hilarious concept, what! Whoever came up with that idea has the brains and creative flourish of a Banks! :ugeek: I must find him (or her) later and introduce myself. You know, it could be my nephew Drongo - I hadn't thought of that. :?

Anyway, have you met Primadonna Brandybuck (sadly you seem not to have not not notced the prettiest Hobbit at the Picnic (hrr-hooomm): Primadonna this is Eldorion - a Foreign Dignitary and a Great Loremaster to boot. Eldorion, Primadonna

((((Oh Mr Eldorion - what an interesting costume you have arrived in! I'm soooo pleased to make your acquaintance!)))))

Tinuviel
Such a lovely venue mr. tyrant! Pardon me for my "disguise" Just Beren being overprotective
But has my lovely friend Mirabella arrived yet? I hope she will...

Noom Chevaline
Why greetings to you all from the south, come into my tent and have some tea, make yourselves comfortable, while the others arrive.

Why Mirabella, it is difficult to say who is prettier, you or Primadonna. Whispering "There is also a pretty Elven princess but she must be so old, at least 140, much too old for my tastes, and her feet will be so bald"

Mirabella Banks
Oh Tinuviel! You're here. What a beautifully constructed ugly three headed troll costume you're wearing!!! I could tell it was you though - you forgot to disguise that lovely nose of yours! My apologies, I'm actually Bella Banks - not Wise Odo - though I guess my disguise might even baffle you. The REAL Uncle Wise is over there with that handsome swarthy chap (I don't know him) and Eldorion (I think - though he is in an intersting fancy dress costume - he stands with a cetain Loremasterish posturing, I feel) - and there is Primadonna Brandybuck too. Lovely girl. Prettiest hobbit girl in Hobbiton, some say. I wonder where Mr Tyrant is? I can't recognize him anywhere. But never mind. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. Oh is that Gandalfs Beard over there with his hands on a skyrocket? A fine Beard - though I can't help feeling there's something fake about him.. I don't mean to seem rude..... Oh I'm gushing, aren't I! I do apologize Lay Tinuviel. You must think me some kind of silly Heroine Worshipper!...

Noom Chevaline
Why Mirabella, would you happen to know if the magnificent Jawsmasher is around this evening?

Odo Banks
..... What a queer collection of people.

Some are in fancy dress, though some have come as other folk of this Enchanted Forum. How bewuthering!

Mirabella is over talking to Lady Tibuviel (I think???) but surely the Lady Tinuviel is that beautiful ugly three headed troll with warts that Wise Odo is talking to? Hang on! That Wise Odo is someone in disguise. I bet it's the REAL Mirabella! So who is that other Mirabella? The one talking with that Lady Tinuviel who is clearly a Beautiful Elven Queen (and not disguised as a beutiful ugly troll)? It's actually hard to know which Tinuviel is fake...Baffling!

And someone has come disguised as Mirabella - but the REAL Mirabella is an inch shorter - who could it be? I have no idea. Not Mr Tyrant - surely not!

And as to this dummy beside me. Clearly it's a dummy - a badly made manniken! Only Wise without his glasses could be fooled - and probably NOT even then!

I think Mr Tyrant has organized a Great Mess, not a Picnic!!!

Oh well... No one will ever recognize ME in my costume. Though I wish I could rid myself of this reed tunic... oh how it itches.....

....

Wise Odo
......((((....

"Primmy - shush! - come with me and hide behind these beer barrels."
"What's the matter, Honey Trousers?"
"I am troubled. This Picnic is a Nightmare! I no longer know who anyone is. And, what's worse, I don't think they do!"
"I know what you mean. It's like everyone has come here with their own set of plans and motivations and now pay little attention to what anyone else is saying or doing!"
"My point exactly. Let's lie low. If we keep out of the way, we might watch and listen and see how things fall out. I'm worried about all the swords everyone has with them. Plots within plots?"
"Knots within knots?"
"Exactly!"
"That nice swarthy Haradian seems genuine though."
"Forget him. I've seen the way he looks at you, Primmy. You are my friend - we have an agreement remember... Hey! What's he doing now.... I bet he's searching for you. Great Man, but I won't let him take you away."
"Take me away?"
"Yes - if he can, no doubt he'll whisk you off to the East on his camels. It's the Haradian Way, Primmy!"
"Oh dear. I shouldn't like that, no matter how handsome and dashing he is. I bet I'll be his seventeenth wife or something..."
"Exactly!"
"Oh my goodness! Should we find Father? He'll know what to do..."
"Yes, that might work. Jawsmasher, once he knows, will deal with old Noom accordingly! But still, let's wait awhile. This confusing Picnic is confusing me!"
"Oh aint that the truth!!!" :?

.....)))......

Eldorion
Why thank you, Mr Wise. I am in fact a peredhil born in Imladris, raised in Gondor, and a former resident of many places. I have met many fascinating individuals, some of whom share my interest in the unfairly maligned cats of this Middle-earth. I am in fact pursuing the trail of the legendary Lord of Cats: Tevildo, in case he still exists.

Wise Odo
Oh I didn't realize you were here behind the barrells, Eldorion. What a Pleasant surprise! I trust you didn't overhear anything you oughtn't have? It's not nice to eavesdrop after all! Your costume, I must say is wonderful. Indeed, I must look it up - when I have found my glasses.

...((((..."Oh you'll like Lord Eldorion's costume, Sugar Britches! It's splendid!....))))....

Sorry Eldorion. I'm as blind as a bat without my glasses. A peredhil was it? Sounds... very interesting!

Tinuviel
...................................
Where IS everyone??? WHO is everyone??? My heads spinning. :? I'm tempted to rip off this hideous trollcostume and draw a sword and just fight it out right then and there. My ears are everywhere, I can hear everyone's conversation, yet still I have no clue who they are!!!! I think I might just go for it. What do I have to lose? I can just go back to Valinor if things get ugly. I'll wait a bit longer to be contacted by the REAL GB and Eldorion, for I know now the fate of poor Mr. Tyrant
And I'll have to watch out for that Noom fellow, not the most respectable person...
...................................
So Mirabella, how have your searches been going???

Noom Chevaline
[quote="Tinuviel"]...................................

And I'll have to watch out for that Noom fellow, not the most respectable person...
quote]

I have had enough of this disrespect

"Haradrim, REVEAL YOURSELVES."

Five of the camels unzip their bellies only to reveal that five of the twelve camels were Haradrian Trojen Camels cleverly disguised.

Out jump, ten female Haradrian Warriors (Two to a camel) , wearing mithril chain shirts, mithril coin veils and holding twin scimitars.

"We are at your command, Prince Noom Heir apparent to the triumphant tribe of ten million."

"here are my commands, we will take Wise Odo, Primadonna and Sherrif Mirabella Banks south for their protection, there they will be treated as Royalty; then those who want respectability can have respectability."

"We have them sire, though i hope this is the sherrif and not another in disguise."

Too late, lets go, leave the tent and lets go at the gallop, REMOUNT."

Wise Odo
..((((....

"What a ruckus, Primmy!"
"Can you see what's happening?"
"No.. I'm too scared to look..."
"Oh Wisey!"
"Well, you're the Sheriff!!!"
"All right, I'll take a peep, Honey Trousers..." ------ "Well, I'll be... There are any number of Haradian Warrior Maids (and a lot of sad camels with their bellies wide open) and they've snatched up Old toothless Woody Tomboddy - and Primula Took and Emma Bracegirdle! They've snatched them up onto those hollow-compartmented camels! But why...? It's crazy out there! Get your head down. We must be thankful we're behind this barrel!"
"Are those camels gallomping away?"
"Yes, Honey Trousers, I think they are.... you can stop shaking now! Those poor hobbits! Abducted by Haradians! We may never see them again!"

...))))...

Noom Chevaline
Hells bells , yet again, we have been outwitted. Wise Odo lives up to his reputation of wisdom and cunning.

"You six, take the maidens south to Harad, dump the toothless old git; you four Warrior maidens come back with me and we will see what can be rescued fro this situation."

The hobbit maidens are pretty non the less. What will become of this day.

"Aristokili, take an alternative rout with the other camels, we five will doubleback get some hoses and go back in disguise."

Noom Chevaline
I knew these rangers hiding in the woods were half trained, well by the time these naked boys are discovered we will have completed our business, we have our disguises and I hope they dont get too cold.

"Be careful now, not to be too quiet or stealthy, we must match the subterfuge levels of these half trained rangers, keep your hoods up, and your faces hidden."

"Prince Noom. "

"Yes Captain, "

"These horses are so stupid compared to the camel."

"I know, we will just have to slum it for a while, its better than walking, but only just."

Wise Odo
...((((....

"I wonder what we should do now, Primmy?"

"Well stop shivering and shaking for a start! Hey! Let's retire to Bywater and your comfy hobbit hole. We'll bar the doors and windows - and maybe put on a little mood music, I think."

"My God, Primmy, is that all you ever think about!?"

"Ridiculous!"

"My goodness me, who are you?"

"Oh Wise Odo, it is none other than I, your more practical brother, Odo Banks!"

"Well, all I can say is - what a brilliant costume! I should have guessed you were that brilliant orc I saw standing beside that dummy Odo."

"Yes, indeed. And - due to the pressing nature of the moment - I say again: "Ridiculous!"

"What is?"

"Fleeing to your hobbit hole with Primadonna Brandybuck!"

"Well, to be fair, the idea does have its advantages..."

"Look, Wisey, I have picked up some useful survival skills while on the run, and I think we must retire to a Secret Bolthole I have burrowed (which is unfindable whether by magical means, channelling, snufflehound nose or anything else anyone can or cannot think of!) As I said, I was always the practical one! I remember this now. You know, it's like there's been a Spell of Bedazled-Befuddlement placed upon us for ages, Wisey - one that caused us some trouble in understanding our familial or non-famial relationship, which has been awkward to say the least."

"Yes our relationship seems to have had no rhyme or reason, and fluctuated alarmingly between the sublime and the ridiculous."

"You're the wise one, so I guess you know what you mean by that."

"Oh you two, let's go then. I'm discomfitted by all these big words and deep discussions that to a simple hobbit girl like me sound quite nonsensical! Whatever we're doing, let's do it now - for I'm sure Noom Chevaline will realise his error soon enough!"

"Yes Primmy, what sensible adivce! Okay lead on Good and Loyal Brother Odo - my dearest Brother, who has obviously forgiven me even though he has not come out and said it and no one, including me, knows why."

"Now, Wisey and Primmy, we'll need to crawl away on hands and knees, and keep close to the upturned tables, and avoid all those startled and scattering feet of the picnic folk, and avoid all those tossed and turvy salads..."

"Yes! Lead on Sweet Brother who is full of Practical Knowhow and Godly Attributes while remaining Truly Handsome to Gaze Upon! I'm ever so good at crawling."

"Before we go, Wisey, I need you to promise me that you'll call off the Sheriffs, and not interfere again with me visiting the Vulgar Threads!"

"Of course - I can agree to that, after all the bother that has been caused in Forum-earth over this sordid (and somewhat silly) business - but I still refuse to condone such behavior."

[sigh] "Oh all right, it'll have to do."

(((("Oh Honey Trousers, what about that mission you planned wth Chief Sheriff Gorbadoc and Mirabella?"

"You mean the Plan to burn down the Fortress of Lore with the loss of the Vulgar Threads as a natural consequence? Well, if it succeeds, Odo wil just have to be happy visiting my threads. Shush! He's listenning...)))

"What are you two whispering about?"

"We were just wondering if your Secret Bolthole has plumbing yet."

"Oh dear Wisey - you are so naive!"

(((("That's what he thinks, Honey Trousers!"

"Shush, Primmy!!!! I did say: 'SHUSH!'))))





.......))))).....

Tinuviel
............((((((((((((............. Where has everyone gone????? Last I knew, Noom's camels turned into humans, and half of the guests at the picnic were gone! And why are there two of me??? I came dressed as a troll, but that lady talking to Mirabella over there isn't me! I was talking to the real Mirabella (who was disguised as Wise Odo), wasn't I??? O well. I should leave the picnic, since I'm technically already over there talking to Mirabella. I'll go to Eldorion at the Fortress of Lore. I"ll wear my cloak so no one will see me. Maybe I'll find something about Noom and his caravan on the way.........))))))))))))................
(Later in the Woods)
Now wait, who could that be? I'm not sure, but I don't like the looks of him... I'll keep my distance.
Hmm, he seems to be following me. Well, that won't be a problem. Poof! (Disappear)

Noom Chevaline
All's well that ends well my Mithril Maidens. Its so funny that he thinks he is undiscovered. Odo Banks is a hoot. That whole conversation was completely overheard. I am so glad that they have made up, brothers should not be set against each other.

I am more respectable and generous than Wise Odo will ever know, we will leave them with a present . Yes, lets leave them the Octohooka so that they can have a smoke, a barrel of sheeshweed, some Haradian tea and a bag of gold coins to see them into their future. I think 2 lbs of gold should be enough.

ps here is a map for Primmy of my home if you should ever become bored of her. Its a pitty she did not one day want to be Queen Primadonna Chevaline, my first and only queen. They have such misconceptions about us these Northeners, most of them think we have 17 wives. Do they think we are stuped, who would want 17 mother in laws.