Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
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Forumshire :: Middle-earth :: The Hobbit
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Eldorion Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:47 am
I love it. 
The more visible smirk in the larger size really completes it. 
The more visible smirk in the larger size really completes it. 
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Ringdrotten Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:05 am
parzival wrote:Eldorion wrote:This is completely unrelated to the topic at hand, but parzival, I have to say that the Smaug in your avatar looks like he's thinking "do you even lift, bro?" If his feet were touching he'd look just like that one kangaroo.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Pettytyrant101 Fri Dec 12, 2014 1:00 pm
This kind of speaks for itself-
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by azriel Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:44 pm
He seems to me to be the sort of person that will still say that even if it was LOTRs & NOT the hobbit he was in. With Rings the people lived alongside each other. It was quite a close knit 'gang'. So you could understand the sweet sadness at the very end. Could ANYONE feel sad at the end of the hobbit ? Relief I would have thought but, maybe thats reflecting MY feelings at seeing it go ( yay ! ) 
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Pettytyrant101 Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:48 pm
Yeah he just seem that sort- doesnt get overly sentimental about his work.
But I thought the bit where the interviewer says 'you almost had the least to do in this film" and he replies "Don't rub it in." Was probably a bit of knowing truth under the smiles.
So much for 'The Hobbit'.
But I thought the bit where the interviewer says 'you almost had the least to do in this film" and he replies "Don't rub it in." Was probably a bit of knowing truth under the smiles.
So much for 'The Hobbit'.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by azriel Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:51 pm
Uhuh, I got that to I bet he thinks, "oh well, dont complain, got paid for not doing much ". But his name will be on the credits so ? Its the most laid back Ive seen Martin, ( in the film I mean ) In Sherlock at least he's acting !
I bet he thinks, "oh well, dont complain, got paid for not doing much ". But his name will be on the credits so ? Its the most laid back Ive seen Martin, ( in the film I mean ) In Sherlock at least he's acting ! _________________
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by halfwise Fri Dec 12, 2014 4:32 pm
Eldorion wrote:
I had NO idea 'roo forearms were so muscled.
Wouldn't want to box with one._________________
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Eldorion Fri Dec 12, 2014 4:34 pm
The best part is that kangaroos clearly know how swole they are and will flaunt it.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by halfwise Fri Dec 12, 2014 4:54 pm
Normally I'd think of meeting a pack of tough 'roos in a dark alley to be a joke, but I'm not so sure any more.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by feanor 1999 Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:19 pm
Ayup...
And another, and another... Sing (Jason may have heard of the Sensational Alex Harvey Band from Glasgow) to the fade out of SAHB's 'Tale of the Giant Stoneater')
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/11285677/From-warm-and-witty-to-carnage-adapting-The-Hobbit.html
'Boom'. 'Boom'. Both Barrels again. Sure is gettin' Fun, Ma !
I've also seen a trailer on TV for an adaptation of Norman Hunters Brilliant kids book 'The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm', (one of my all time fave books from Childhood) and I feel as sick about that as this film. I hate Harry Hill in any shape or form.
EDIT: just watched the video. He reminds me of how Euan Mcgregor feels about being Obi-Wan in the Star-wars reboots. 'Its just a job, and not real...' says it all really. But even Freeman knows its a Turkey.
And another, and another... Sing (Jason may have heard of the Sensational Alex Harvey Band from Glasgow) to the fade out of SAHB's 'Tale of the Giant Stoneater')
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/11285677/From-warm-and-witty-to-carnage-adapting-The-Hobbit.html
'Boom'. 'Boom'. Both Barrels again. Sure is gettin' Fun, Ma !
I've also seen a trailer on TV for an adaptation of Norman Hunters Brilliant kids book 'The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm', (one of my all time fave books from Childhood) and I feel as sick about that as this film. I hate Harry Hill in any shape or form.
EDIT: just watched the video. He reminds me of how Euan Mcgregor feels about being Obi-Wan in the Star-wars reboots. 'Its just a job, and not real...' says it all really. But even Freeman knows its a Turkey.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Mrs Figg Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:26 pm
parzival wrote:Mrs Figg wrote:''These are being treated like Jacksons own prequel to his lotR's film, not a Tolkien adaptation."
that in a nutshell is what its all about.
It's too late. It's been too late for years now. There was no coming back from the inevitable course these films took, though it's funny how so many people hung on and continue to do so hoping for some kind of book-like payoff. The Hobbit movies that could have been never happened. And we don't even get a lazy semblance to the book in the film's closing, apparently.
So I figure one has two options. Ignore the final film (which is close to impossible, though would be a mark of strong character), or just go see it and get it over with, friends and popcorn bucket present. And then get drunk and talk about how awesome the films could have been.
to be honest I have a horrible suspicion that I will actually enjoy it as a popcorn movie. I imagine Jackson like Russell Crowe in Gladiator shouting 'are you not entertained!' and me shouting back, 'yeah bring on the spectacle gimme moar legolas!'
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by feanor 1999 Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:37 pm
Ayup Figgy...
Gladiator is NOT a popcorn Movie, but a highly accurate historical Drama forsooth !
(I prepare for you to unleash Hell on me)
Gladiator is NOT a popcorn Movie, but a highly accurate historical Drama forsooth !
(I prepare for you to unleash Hell on me)
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Mrs Figg Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:41 pm
yeah I wasn't dissing Gladiator, its a great film and defo NOT popcorn. 
I was equating Jackson as a Gladiator ready to sacrifice anything to keep the mob happy.
I was equating Jackson as a Gladiator ready to sacrifice anything to keep the mob happy.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by feanor 1999 Fri Dec 12, 2014 8:19 pm
I knew that... 
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Eldorion Fri Dec 12, 2014 9:48 pm
That Telegraph review is brutal, especially the last line, but will likely be closer to my thoughts than most of the early reviews.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Mrs Figg Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:27 pm
has Norc done her review yet? what about the other Fyordlandians?
what about the other Fyordlandians?
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by David H Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:31 pm
Yeah, about that Telegraph article.....
What's with this? How many sex scenes can he have inserted into LotR
and with whom ?
telegraph.co.uk wrote:Boorman’s [Lord of the Rings] film eventually came to nothing, for various reasons, including United Artists’ horror at the sex scenes the director had inserted into the plot.
What's with this? How many sex scenes can he have inserted into LotR
and with whom ?
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Mrs Figg Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:45 pm
sudder to think
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Forest Shepherd Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:51 pm
"Yes Precious! Yee-*ungh*-eeessssss!!"
or
"Mr Frodo?"
"Yes Sam (*sigh*, these webs of darkness that assault mine eyes!)"
"Did Master Elrond say that the ring would grow or shrink to fit any finger?"
"Yes Sam I suppose he did, but what about this hideous darkness that surrounds us?"
"Mr. Frodo my love, I have an idea..."
"Oh my! Oh my.. SAM!!"
or
"Mr Frodo?"
"Yes Sam (*sigh*, these webs of darkness that assault mine eyes!)"
"Did Master Elrond say that the ring would grow or shrink to fit any finger?"
"Yes Sam I suppose he did, but what about this hideous darkness that surrounds us?"
"Mr. Frodo my love, I have an idea..."
"Oh my! Oh my.. SAM!!"
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Bluebottle Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:05 am
Mrs Figg wrote:has Norc done her review yet?
Um..
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Eldorion Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:09 am
The most famous sex scene Boorman proposed was between Frodo and Galadriel.
Go on and marinate on that for a minute.
Go on and marinate on that for a minute.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by halfwise Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:14 am
Them UA execs are either sharper than we think they are, or passed up a truly legendary opportunity.
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Bluebottle Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:33 am
If the Tolkien Estate sued over lottery machines...
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by halfwise Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:44 am
From Nicholas Barber's review for the BBC:
I love how the reviewers seem to be competing with each other for new ways to make PJ go "Ouch!".
There aren’t many film productions which would go to the effort of engraving the toggles on either end of a dwarf’s moustache...The fact is, though, that if you find your attention wandering to moustache jewellery in the middle of a climactic fight to the death, it’s a sign that the film you’re watching isn’t very gripping.
I love how the reviewers seem to be competing with each other for new ways to make PJ go "Ouch!".
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Re: Critics review 'The Battle of the Five Armies'
by Forest Shepherd Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:58 am
That's film critics for you.
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