Just...................whatever [2]

well I am sorry if I interupted your and Lance's stories with my idiot behaviour, I will feel really shitty if youz dont continue them. they are great.

Mrs Figg being the adult one in this situation. good.

Mrs Figg, when you say "everyone", I dont think your a twat !! Not ever !  

Norc wrote:Mrs Figg being the adult one in this situation. good.

well theres Always a first time for everything  

azriel wrote:Mrs Figg, when you say "everyone", I dont think your a twat !! Not ever !  

  thanks Az

I will feel really shitty if youz dont continue them Mrs Figg

I am sure Lance never considered stopping his. And as for me, if I have your permission to still use the Figg character then I too will finish the tale.

no saggy boobies tho  

((((        )))))

Yay !! more stories !  

I did consider stopping if people didnt stop hijacking. It is a little frustrating when trying to do something when people start something like that which has nothing to do with what the thread is about. There is, after all, a new topic button.

Off to Leicester tomorrow. May do another chapter on my way home.

sorry Lance  

please write more, your story is fantastic.  

I don't think Petty's tales are ever complete somehow without something saggy in them - saggy breasts, saggy penises, saggy bellies, saggy humour...    Oh sorry, I meant 'daggy' humour, not 'saggy' humour, Petty.  

{{{Note to self: I wonder if 'daggy' humour translates well? Surely those European/American types know I don't mean 'daggy' as in sheep 'dags'. I mean 'daggy' as kinda of 'droll' sorta, Oztralian droll that is... not that we know what 'droll' means, it being a European kinda thing... ... oh this is getting so hard... Damn that Mrs Figg... Damn her!  But there's nothing for it, I'll just have to stick with hanging shit indiscriminately. It's a method that rarely fails -- unless you're Scottish (apparently ). Methinks, I better add a couple more encryption brackets... there... should do it...}}} }}

This sort of thing must be expected in Forumshire Lance. Consider it part of tempering your creative spirit for future knocks and shocks.
I dont think Ive put up a story here yet that inbetween episodes didnt see the thread hijacked in some fashion or another.
It is no reflection on the story being posted, its just, Forumshire.

And yes Orwell, I am afraid I can guarantee nothing on the saggy front. The tale must be told in the telling, it must be true within itself or it reads false, and if the story demands sagging, sagging there shall be.  (And I wont know until its written- I often have to read my own stuff back just to find out what it was about!)

Lancebloke wrote:I did consider stopping if people didnt stop hijacking. It is a little frustrating when trying to do something when people start something like that which has nothing to do with what the thread is about. There is, after all, a new topic button.

Off to Leicester tomorrow. May do another chapter on my way home.

I know I made some off-topic posts in your thread, but I am really enjoying your story, Lance.

I had 8 pages of Norcing  I actually started writing my story around the year Napoleon invaded Russia or thereabouts, so I had forgotten my own name by the time I had waded through the spamming and restarted it. its just par for the course innit.  

Mrs Figg wrote: I actually started writing my story around the year Napoleon invaded Russia or thereabouts...... 

That was way back in 1812 at the same time we were fighting the British on the sea {{{and winning! }}}.
....so let me see....
...that would make you.....at least.... .....

And you wonder why we keep confusing how old you are, Mrs Figg...

Reading over Lance's concerns about his thread being norced, I must admit I find it frustrating when it happens to me, but hilarious any other time.

ditto

Lancebloke wrote:I did consider stopping if people didnt stop hijacking. It is a little frustrating when trying to do something when people start something like that which has nothing to do with what the thread is about. There is, after all, a new topic button.

Off to Leicester tomorrow. May do another chapter on my way home.

*cough* I've just been adding to that frustration. Sowwy... It's the way it is here, it's a sign that the posts are being read and that people hand around for more. Jabbing on in the commercial breaks, waiting for the movie to begin again.

Yeah! Less adverts, more telemovie!  

people hand around for more. Jabbing on in the commercial breaks, waiting for the movie to begin again- Amarie

Perfecty put Amarie. Thats exactly the right way to think about it.

This is why I don't have a swimming pool! 

Naked Swimmer Distracts Homeowner During Robbery by Elicia Dover

If a strange woman asks to swim in your pool naked, be suspicious.

In Crossville, Tenn., a man and woman asked if the woman could take a skinny dip, and then the man said he was leaving to get cigarettes, according to the Crossville Police Department.

But while the woman swam naked and the distracted homeowner watched, someone robbed the home of nearly $1,000 in jewelry, cash, a handgun and prescription drugs, police said.

"We've seen numerous distraction methods - asking for help looking for a dog, asking for help with gas for a stranded car and then people come back and find their home was burglarized," Crossville Police Department Det. J.C. Hancock said. "They just took it a new level using a naked woman."

Police said they have eliminated suspects but have not been able to locate the alleged criminals.

Hancock said he was surprised to see the method these burglars used.

"Every time I think I've seen it all, there's something new," he said.

According to ABC News affiliate in Nashville, Tenn., News 2, the incident happened on June 27. The victim, Stephen Amaral, 54, said he gave the 30-something woman a towel when she was done swimming.

"I escorted her outside and invited her to church, but she said she didn't have time for that, she wasn't ready for that," Amaral told News 2.

I bet she wasnt !  
In retrospect, its surprising this hasnt been thought of before ? after all, women have been seducing men for centuries ! Its amazing what whipping your clothes off can do !

When I stayed in Glasgow my flat mates girlfriend went off with one of his other mates- much crabbit ensued and one night of severe drunkenness in the flat we set fire to various items of hers left behind, sang songs around them and threw them out the window onto the street below.
It didnt take long for someone to call the police, there were 3 of us in that flat that night, myself, my mate, and a Glasgow lassie.
When the police turned up and were directed to our door, calmly as anything she stripped naked and answered the door pretending to be half asleep and trying to hide behind the door-but letting the goods out in view just often enough to ensure the two male cops couldn't concentrate.
They left apologizing to her.  
Never underestimate the usefulness of a naked lassie!

 oh my god.. i shall remember that.

Funny story