Lord of the Rings Humour: Parodies, Satires and More

Orwell wrote:Why must you suggest butttercotch and cream just now? Are you trying to torture me, leelee?

As to Mrs Figg, of course she's superior. It's why I intend to divorce my Missus and take an eagle to Tuscany. I'm taking a class in "Advanced Wooing of Superior Ladies."

{{{Mrs Figg is also the reason I am dieting. I mean, you wouldnt want an old, fast, lazy middleaged sleazebag sweeping her off her feet would you, leelee? Surely she deserves a better sleazebag than that! }}}

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEewwwwwwwwwwwwwww,somehow those images make me feel rather nauseated. Big time.
And Orwell( I can't believe the soap and water did not work. I''m thinking therapist perhaps),,,,,,,,,,,,does the Missus know about this and if she finds out will dieting really even be important. Wouldn't say funeral expenses be more in keeping with the situation?

I, of course, don't intend to have the divorce papers delvered until I'm out of the country, leelee. If the dieting doesn't do it for me in regard to Mrs Figg, I'll move onto Canada, I think. Lots of 'friendly' ladies there, I hear.

Orwell wrote:I, of course, don't intend to have the divorce papers delvered until I'm out of the country, leelee. If the dieting doesn't do it for me in regard to Mrs Figg, I'll move onto Canada, I think. Lots of 'friendly' ladies there, I hear.

Well Certainly there are lots of friendly ladies everywhere. But all the ones I have ever known were broken and sad and I just know you would not do a thing to dishonor them, that much about you I do know despite your Morse demeanor. But are you even hinting you won't be a success with our Princess? [b]You giving up? Never. I suspect though the Missus as you call her is a darling, she must be and that you are good to her, What say you Orwell The Honest?
Oh and Orwell you will be pleased and relieved to find out that I have blitzed the topics the last day or so because with my new schedule and responsibilities I doubt if I can make it back here for a while I shall miss you all , but at least if I have a minute or two I can read all the fun.

I may have to stay home and leave off with the divorce papers. When I spoke to my Missus about my plans she stated quite firmly that she would cut my balls off with a butter knife if I did. She also added - not that I think it was kind to do so - that she only wanted to keep me because she had already invested thirty years of her life in me, albeit with little improvement, and she was too busy with work and house cleaning and children-mentoring just now to bother trying to train up some other bogun. While I take out the garbage and clean the dishes and give her a cuddle when she's in the mood (I'm her 'tap' she says - don't know what that means ) she'll keep me, she said. You know, she's always been unresaonable and I often tell her so.

As to being away, leelee, good luck with all your endeavours. I look forward to taking up the cudgels again when you return.

leelee wrote:
Now now Orwell, you are very fractious at the moment. Come with me to the kitchen sink. I shall take a nice clean fragrant smelling face cloth, dip it in warm clear water and add a bit of soap. I shall wash your dear face from all the muck lingering there from supper, and wash out your mouth from all the muck lingering in there from , well "I don't know where from (NO DONT TELL ME) and give you a nice cup of tea and a butterscotch scone I made myself with lovely Devonshire cream on top. And then i will explain patiently to you why Princess Mrs. Figg is the superior person she is,..................and always will be.

Hahahaaa! Leelee, you awesome awesome girl you!

Orwell, in Norwegian 'tap' means loss or failure. Where's she from your Missus (bless her courage)?.

My wife's Norweigan?

Sounds like it to me. But if you don't know after 30 years... then for the love of all that is holy and unholy and everything in between: DON'T ASK HER!

Though it would explain the exceptionally accurate translations you dazzle me with from time to time. Subconsciously you must have picked up something of what she's been saying all these years. Perhaps it might make her feel a little better to know that.

When we first met I could not understand a word she said, and as the years went by I began to suspect she was telling me off, and after about ten years I realized she was telling me off! It all seems so obvious now.

I am glad I could bring some clarity to your life, Orwell. You are indeed a very special boy.

Oh silly me... I thought I better put it to my Missus. She said, "You silly boy," (what a coincidence, Amarie!) "You just never listen to me. You've got Roman hands, Russian fingers, and deaf ears! I worked on my vocal chords - but it took me ten years to get through to you. Well and truly by then - and ever since - I've been pissed off with you!" I said, "But, come on, the sex was good." "For at least one of us," she said. You know, I always wondered why she yells at me so much.

Well, as I said; I am glad I could bring some clarity to your life, though you were perhaps more happy the way you were.

Dominic Monaghan has signed on to front a new travel series, titled Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan, which will be co-funded by C5, OLN, and BBC America.

In Wild Things, Monaghan will set out to track down a wide variety of rare and life-threatening insects – among them army ants, venomous centipedes, and scorpions. He will visit such locations as Ecuador, Venezuela, Cameroon, Namibia, Thailand, and Borneo.

"I have been obsessed and interested in nature all my life,” Monaghan said. “This show brings together years of excited preparation by finally creating a series that demonstrates my love for travel, animals, adventure and people.”

“We know Dominic will leave no stone unturned in his quest to unearth the world’s deadliest bugs on this exciting expedition, which should prove irresistible with viewers,” said Andrew O’Connell, head of factual at C5.

Perry Simon, General Manager at BBC America, added that, “Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan introduces our audience to creatures typically only seen in fantasy or science fiction. We are among the many fans of Dominic's work, and it is his genuine love and knowledge of these creatures and the production team's global ambition that inspired us to make this series an important part of our slate of new originals.”

The series, which is being produced by Cream Productions and Wildfire Television, will be distributed internationally by ITV Studios Global Entertainment and will premiere later this year on BBC America.

Reminds me of Rivendell

this kind of reminds me of Lothlorien in a weird way

[url=][IMG]

It does me too.

I love this photo. look at the dogs face.

I see that face a lot at work! Especially on new-starts.

haha! love the dog!

Thats hilarious

This sounds very lord of the ringish

Do love that stuff, Chris.

I think 'the voice' (the original) won the Eurovision song contest some years ago. Beautiful.