Things that are making you crabbit! [2]

I fear Mrs Figg is like Susan in the Narnia stories... Wearing lipstick and going to parties and talking to boys... Which just goes to show that that line, "Once a Queen in Forumshire, always a Queen in Forumshire," is misleading to say the least!

I thought Odo was the biggest queen in Forumshire.

I was wondering about Figgy myself. Is she over at Bree? Perhaps she's creeped out by the thought of bedrooms without doors and avocado berries.

Just checked stats, she last posted here a week ago!

I traipsed over to Bree, saw she posted an hour ago and made my feelings clear by Jove! Actually, I may have been diplomatic about it...but I was bloviating inside, I was.

Eldorion wrote:I thought Odo was the biggest queen in Forumshire.

I thought I was the biggest queen in forumshire?!?!

And I'm very crabbit right now! I just played some God awful golf and cost my team a chance to go down state. None of us played really well, but it was my last high school tournament and I played horrible! I know it's bad to self loathe and everything, but HOW COULD I END SO BADLY?!?!?!

So letting you know, if there is a shortage of Buckie in forumshire, it's not Petty's fault this time
On the plus side, the musical I wrote is coming out on Thursday! Sure, the despicable man in charge has changed it so much that now it's more of a bad Doctor Who episode than the genius I created BUT, I'll take it with a grain of salt because now everyone else is beginning to realize that the common trend where the musical is barely ready when the first show arrives is NOT the students' fault but the supervisor's I had the whole show done in August, and I had to re-write Act 2 a week ago!

Note the capital letters, Your Maj! You are certainly a Queen, but Odo is a queen, if you know what I mean.

Queen Tin - sorry about my incredibly late addition to the Musical title thread you had going on. It was rubbish anyway but didnt know it was so soon.

It was rubbish anyway but didnt know it was so soon.- Lance

Are you calling Her Maj's musical rubbish Lance! I believe if so that may be treason- and I should warn you that as well being Official Keeper of Her Majesties Buckie I am also her Chief Kicker of Arses. And I do sassenach ones for free!

Your Maj regards your golf game- if I may be so bold as to remind you of the games roots- in Scotshobbit land- it is worth bearing in mind therefore that the reason golf is the single most infuriating and frustration game in creation is because it was made by and for crabbit folk.
Golf is an archaic but cunning device- a crabbit amplifier- it is the ultimate test of man (or Queen) against crabbit- you must learn to harness, tune and direct the crabbit you generate in order to win and defeat the course. (And if you fail thats what the 19th Hole is for).
This crabbitness of golf is also why, traditionally, females were not allowed to play the game- Scots lasses are terrifying enough as is without letting them play a game that hones their crabbit!
The crabbit roots and purpose of golf I feel is not always understood abroad.

It's seen as a supplement to the game, but we don't know how to handle crabbit over here!!!!! I thought I did, but when your under the pressure of advancing to the State finals, we Americans don't know how to handle it!
(I mean, look at Tiger Woods! His crabbit was taken out on several different women! )

Ah yes well Woods took things way to far and lost control of the crabbit- let that be a lesson to you of what can happen when you lose the focus of your crabbit.
The aim you see is to turn it against the course, the people who designed it- you must picture their faces grinning smugly at you from every bunker, every bit of rough and behind every flag, and vow hole after hole to swipe those smug grins away.
Now some golfers cant keep their crabbit focused- they turn it not just on the course but onto their golf clubs, the weather, the crowd, or even worse their caddy (however a caddies main job, unlike what most people believe, is to act as a crabbit-rod to absorb excess build ups-but this is for emergencies only as doing so takes the focus away from where it should be to defeat the game- directed solely at the course).
Every shot that doesnt come off should not make you worse- it should annoy, anger, infuriate- thus upping your crabbit levels enough to target the next hole with it. The trick is to direct and maintain the focus and use further crabbit to increase the focus by directing it outward at the course.

It was the great celebrated Scotshobbit psychologist and golfer Alistair McGuffin who said in his most famous and profund insight into crabbit:

"Crabbit can only travel in two directions-inward and outward. And by f**k you don't want it coming inward."

Wise words to live by I am sure you will agree.

For clarity and to save myself from a Royally commissioned arse kicking, the rubbish I was referring to were my suggestions for a title.

I thought it must be something like that Lance- you will be glad to know I've been told to put the special boots away- they are very special, they were made by Royal Commission for the famous Arse Kicking of Melkor (well why do you think they had to chain him up in the first place!)

Sorry Mary in this house we listen to air supply if you and the 'man' have a problem with that too bad

??? ..... another day another Allyism.

So my show is opening tonight, and I've found out that our lead has been kicked down to the ensemble because he was caught with weed!!!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY DUDE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! His understudy had 3 days to learn EVERYTHING! so we'll see....

Well perhaps best your lead is not a stoner Tin- you dont want them forgotting why they are there in the middle of it or wandering off in search of a fridge now do you?

Best of luck with the show- let us know how it goes.

I hope the show goes well nonetheless, Your Maj! I enjoyed reading you scripts in the Creative Corner so I hope you'll give us the rundown on the actual performance later.

The kitchen light in my barrel is making me crabbit- it just blew. Actually make thjat it just BLEW! Big flash shattered glass everywhere- it was a long strip light.
Ever tried finding and picking up hundreds of shards of glass in the dark?
I wouldnt recommend it- I would recommend remembering to put something on your feet first however.

Fortuntely being a resourceful drunken Scotshobbit I mamaged to light my way by setting fire to the bin.

Why not leave it till morning?

What and risk stepping on broken glass everytime I went in the dark to get a fresh buckie? Or are you suggesting I go without buckie until morning!

That's true you don't want to cut your foot and end up in hospital & miss that gynecologist meeting


Hahahaha

& miss that gynecologist meeting - Ally

Im not allowed to attend anymore- apparently its not a spectator sport. Who knew?

Do you not have a broom and a dustpan?

Do you not have a broom- Eldo

What am I a witch? (or a woman!) . No thank you very much Eldo but I will stick to the tried and tested crabbit methods of blundering about in the dark getting embedded in glass shards and cursing loudly like a drunk should! One must maintain ones standards

Silly me, I should have realized.