Fjordlandia Viking bar & kaffistove, main str. 221B, Needlehole

We slashed of talk,
Heart where I do,
We splat, some Pa in trampoline.
We kissed, the brute with my tongue,
Car-lick engine can fornicate."- Halfwise

We contested terrain and took,
Our hearts to do,
We popped, as on a trampoline.
We kissed, you spent some much tongue
Kjærleik no one can deny.- Norc

Ok I cant actually tell which one is supposed to be the real translation.  

Hah, I just realised how pristinely translatable my dialect (if you can even call it that) is. Maybe I should put one on in future.

Haha yes, wait till the most eager translators come, they will love it

Yup I translated that, and it made perfect sense!  

I knew you other Fjordians had been making yours up as you go along  

dialects man... Dialects

Yeah so you say  

Well, glad to be of help in introducing you to the wonderfull culture and language of Fjordlandia.

Wich one should I put on though.

Trøndersk? Bærgensk? Nord-norsk?

I also think that's one of the reason ringo isn't so keen on writing fjordian, he also writes very "fine" dialect, easy for google translate

Veel, såå leengee deet iikee eer miiliitæærheemeeliigheeteer vii snaakkeer oom såå eer deet kaanskjee iikee såå faarliig.  

They are cunning these Fjordians and slippery as herring  

Don't worry Petty, nothing about Fjordlandian invasion plans to see here. You just move along now.  

"Veel, såå leengee deet iikee eer miiliitæærheemeeliigheeteer vii snaakkeer oom såå eer deet kaanskjee iikee såå faarliig. "

That didn't translate at all.  Google gave me something about much honoring some uncle. I shall have to do my own:

"Well, say long teeth like ear military lighters we snake over ear teeth can't like some fairy."

Clearly a word-for-word translation doesn't work here. Once I figure out what ear teeth are I'll be back with a suitable rendering.

''Veel, såå leengee deet iikee eer miiliitæærheemeeliigheeteer vii snaakkeer oom såå eer deet kaanskjee iikee såå faarliig. "

I got,
Veal is long deer liked by the military with Snickers, but its deer that doesnt like Seafaring.

I'm telling you its Fjordian invasion codes  

I think you are right  

But, I told you in all honesty that it wasn't.  

Here to help.  

{{{{{{Right Figg we are going to have to come up with a language we can talk in the Fjordians cant- which as we are both from the UK and therefore refuse to speak any other languages and insist everyone else uses ours, is going to be a problem- I am assuming you didnt even bother learning Italian but relied on the tried and tested British method when dealing with foreigners of talking English slowly and loudly at them until they either do what you want or go away to find you someone who can speak a proper language  }}}}

Mrs Figg wrote:''Veel, såå leengee deet iikee eer miiliitæærheemeeliigheeteer vii snaakkeer oom såå eer deet kaanskjee iikee såå faarliig. "

I got,
Veal is long deer liked by the military with Snickers, but its deer that doesnt like Seafaring.

You are clearly much better at this than I, probably comes from being surrounded by furriners in daily life.

Petty che cazzo dici?

I could talk in Manc. Y'right chuck ow's it goin then? I'm reet nesh today, its bloin' up mi troosers.

I can't do anything with that.  

{{{ actually I could but I don't think the world needs to know about Petty's "casual dicky". }}}

What exactly is blowing up your trousers?  

cold Winter wind

Then why are you "reet nesh?" I'd think you'd be "bludy piffed".